What are BDSM games?
Just how it sounds, BDSM games are games with a focus on BDSM and kink. In many cases, these games are designed to be played with two people within a romantic or kinky relationship, but some BDSM games are designed for play at large-group kink gatherings.
In most of these games, BDSM games are designed for arousal and sexual purposes, but some BDSM games can be crafted for giggling and fun. The purpose of each individual game will depend on the individuals involved, the board game purchased, or how the individuals are feeling.
Just like the term "game" is very wide and expansive and can include such a huge variety of things, the term "BDSM games" is just as flexible. The only requirement is that the game includes some aspect of sexuality and kink.
Why do I want to play BDSM games?
BDSM doesn't always have to be so serious! While BDSM is usually portrayed as a very serious, very intense way to practice kink, BDSM doesn't have to be that way. In fact, it can be stressful to never have any fun and playful back-and-forth in a BDSM relationship.
This is where BDSM games come in. Not only are games fun, but they're easy to play and are usually light-hearted and enjoyable. Instead of placing a lot of pressure on either partner to constantly perform and be ready to respond to the changes in a scene, BDSM games provide a pre-made game design to play within. This allows both partners to relax and play within the games' parameters.
How do I play BDSM games safely?
Just like regular BDSM, you'll want to play your BDSM games safely.
The first step in doing this is to talk about a safeword. A "safeword" is a word that, if spoken, means that something is wrong and that all play needs to stop. Your safeword should be something not normally spoken within a play context like "paperwork" or "elephant". "Red" is the most-common safeword. "Safewords" work particularly well as they're clear, unambiguous ways of stating there's a problem. Especially with playful banter and people who love to be "forced" into service (“Oh no, Master, please don't spank me!”, the word "no" can become a part of the scene - and not a signal to stop. Using a "safeword" gives both parties a clear way to signal an issue with no confusion.
After you've discussed your safeword, you should take the time to fully flush out the parameters of the game. While this may not help much with physical safety concerns, it'll help with mental safety concerns. When everyone knows what to expect, they're less likely to come away disappointed. Talk about how you win the game, how you lose the game, and how points are earned within the game. If there are any "prizes" for winning, don't forget to negotiate and discuss what prizes should be awarded the winner of the BDSM games.
How do I find inspiration for BDSM games?
If you're going to dream up your own BDSM games, you might be looking for inspiration. Maybe you already have a game idea in mind. Maybe you just want to see your partner do something - and you're looking for cute ways to gamify what you want to see.
Either way, you can help use your local community for a lot of inspiration. Munches and other conversation-style meet-ups will provide you the chance to ask about their experiences and games. Otherwise, most people will be happy to bounce around ideas with you as well. You might be surprised by how creative other kinky people can be - and how they might help you see your ideas in a different light!
You might also want to look online. Fetlife and kinky blogs might have some great suggestions and inspiration. Look for people who are posting fantasies and are posting recountings of scenes they've done in the past. Both of those will help you flush out various BDSM games ideas and might even give you ideas for things you hadn't thought of! Plus, if you're going to be regularly enjoying BDSM games, consider giving back to the community that inspired you- either through typing up your own games or commenting and encouraging others.
Finally, using the term "predicament" or "kinky games" might help you find what you're looking for. There are a lot of predicament ties and ideas out there, and "kinky games" will also provide lots of game-focused ideas.
What prizes can I use for BDSM games?
Prizes for your BDSM games are entirely up to the participants in the game. Prizes can be physical or they can be an experience. You might choose to allow the winner to purchase something off their wishlist. Or you might choose to allow the winner to enjoy fantasy fulfillment.
Either way, prizes work best when they're something immediate. For example, don't agree to allow someone to purchase an item that's outside of your budget and will require months of savings. Instead, as soon as the game is done, come together and purchase the item ASAP. If you're choosing to reward with an experience, schedule the winner's experience within a week when possible. It's too easy to allow the rewards to slide underneath the stresses of everyday life, and your BDSM games won't seem very realistic if the prizes and rewards never come to fruition.
Alternatively, prizes can be set-up for only one party. For example, if the submissive happens to complete their challenge within a set amount of time, they'll receive the prize or experience. Nothing will happen if the submissive doesn't complete their challenge.
Of course, you don't have to use any prizes either. If neither partner is motivated by a "prize", then don't worry about it.
Are there pre-made board game BDSM games?
Don't want to come up with your own games? You're in luck! Manufacturers are always happy to sell you an item to meet your needs, and in this case, multiple manufacturers have jumped onto the idea of crafting and selling BDSM games board games.
The level of "kink" will vary between these board games, so make sure to read the description before purchasing. When possible, try to look up a review of the BDSM games before purchasing as well. You want to make sure that the level of kink matches up with your own needs. If the game you purchased considers a silk blindfold as the highest level of "kink", it might be an unsatisfying experience when you own full sets of handcuffs and blindfolds and play with them regularly.
Most manufacturer-made BDSM games board games stay within the "medium intensity" of BDSM. If you're looking for a very kinky or very-specialized-fetish experience, you might want to craft your own BDSM games instead of looking for pre-made options.
You might even consider crafting your own BDSM games board game. While it may never make it to wholesale production, you can use paper and cardboard at your house to write out the game you have in mind. You could even just use slips of paper folded into a mixing bowl as "cards of chance". If you're really into production value, there are lots of small printing companies that'll print your cards and board game ideas for you into a sturdy, lasting board game – bringing your design to life for the two of you!
What are some beginner couple BDSM games?
Let's start off with an easy playful game. This game involves the submissive performing "tasks of skill" for the dominant of the relationship. The dominant can choose what skills are being tested - and what the bar for "passing" will happen to be. This can include rolling a can across the floor, while crawling, with only use of the face. It could include standing on one leg and singing a nursery rhyme. It could even include a staring contest! To really enforce the kink dynamic, I recommend the dominant either sit back, enjoy the view, and bark orders or get involved with a riding crop and lightly "crop" the submissive when the performance isn't up to par.
Heat up the BDSM games!
Looking for something a bit more sexual? Consider something with a focus on masturbation. The two of you should lay out in a comfortable manner, facing one another. Each person will select a sex toy for the other person. You could choose to also provide a kinky toy for each of the people as well. Now, compete to see who can orgasm the fastest. Participants are allowed to encourage or distract each person as they see fit. Maybe the blindfold that she selected will work great for blindfolding herself to avoid the arousing sight of her partner. And maybe that riding crop she selected will work perfectly for getting him closer to the edge as he enjoys the sting of additional pain.
If you want something even more service focused, you might consider blindfolding your submissive and asking them to do the tasks you'd normally expect from them before a service scene. This may include bringing their collar, cuffs, and leash to you. This may include undressing you without the ability to see. This may include selecting an outfit from the closet for themselves while they're without sight - and then judging them upon how well they do at crafting an outfit. The idea is that you're testing their ability to "perform" their usual tasks without sight. This is one of those BDSM games can be very fun and very good at getting someone into a submissive mindset!
What about group BDSM games?
Most coupled BDSM games can be easily modified to work for a group. Remember our earlier example about "tasks of skill"? All the s-types in the group can now be competing against each other in these tasks of skill. In fact, all of the D-types can come together to discuss what they'd like to test - and the skills that are tested will be a nice mixture of what all of the tops wanted to see. You might even consider some competitive games which will have submissives trying to steal 'items' from each other in order to come out the winner. The winner might get bragging rights!
You can also use the above masturbatory example in a similar manner. All of the participants can sit around in a circle and enjoy the same "race to orgasm" that we talked about before. Or, for a different spin, all S-types will be sitting around in the circle - while the D-types are allowed to touch and manipulate their own submissives' body to help them reach the "finish line" first. You might stipulate that the D-types are not allowed to touch between the legs - or you might say that D-types are only allowed to touch their submissives with sex toys or other items and with no hand-to-body contact. always within the control of everyone playing!
