Blog – by Diskret Life

The Ultimate Sex Toys for Men!

Someone brings out a sex doll in your favorite sitcom and everyone laughs. All of the porn you've seen features women playing with dildos and vibrators - but you've never really seen or heard of sex toys for men. While toys for men don't have the same popularity of toys for women, there are still hundreds of sex toy options made for male-bodied individuals. They may not make the front page on most sex toy sites, but almost every retailer has a "toys for men" category right on their website. Or they may have a “cockring” “butt plug” or “anal bead” category. Just click in there and be amazed by the options! Some sex toys will focus on the penis while other sex toys will focus on the unique anal anatomy of male-bodied individuals. Either way, there's a fun sex toy for your interests! How Can Toys for Men Help Me? Do you enjoy pleasure? Are you tired of using your own hand - or just want to explore some new avenues of pleasure for a male body? That's exactly where sex toys for men come in. Specifically designed for male pleasure, these toys will allow you to try new things in the bed, explore sensations on your own, add different experiences with a partner, and just generally enjoy the fun of playing with sex toys! After all, who doesn't like new sex toys? What Toys For Men Exist? Despite the fact that sex toys for men aren't often talked about, there are a surprising number of male sex toys out there! Some of the most common options include: Toys for Men: Male Masturbation Sleeves The easiest and most popular variety of toys for men is the male masturbation sleeve. There's no coy naming tricks here: the male masturbation sleeve is a cylindrical toy - usually with a pleasurably textured internal chamber - that the penis can slide into. Because of this simplistic design and its universal appeal, male masturbation sleeves are, by far, the most plentiful of the toys for men categories. Despite their basic design, male masturbation sleeves still have variance. The internal chamber textures can be tighter or looser - with different textures. The length of the sleeve itself can be different, and it's something you need to pay attention to. When the texture of the male sex toy doesn't start until 4" and your penis is only 5" long, it's something to know. Some sleeves will come with realistic orifice designs - like lips or genitals. Some may have an open-ended design - to allow for easier clean-up and longer penises, but other sleeves may have a close-ended design to provide more suction during use. The longevity of male masturbation sleeves is a huge variance as well. Some male masturbation sleeves will only cost a couple of dollars - and are meant to be tossed when you're done with them. Other masturbation sleeves will last a couple of years, but they'll need to be thoroughly cleaned after every use. Pick the masturbation sleeve that works best for your sex toy practices. Toys for Men: Sex Dolls More than just the joke in your favorite sitcom, sex dolls are available for actual sexual use too. Sex dolls are life-like replicas of another human. Usually with multiple penetrable orifices, sex dolls can be life-sized at 5 or 6 feet tall - or smaller sized with just the torso, chest, and hips. However, this is where things can get a bit tricky. The quality of a sex doll varies widely depending upon price and manufacturer. For example, if you shell out thousands of dollars, you can definitely get a sex doll that'll function perfectly as an erotic sex toy – and could possibly star in a feature film with its realism. However, if you only buy the $10 blow-up doll from the local sex store? That might not work as well. However, there's a happy medium. The issue with the extremely-cheap inflatable sex dolls is that they tend to have seams - much like any inflatable pool toy. Unfortunately, these seams tend to regularly be placed within the penetration canals of the doll. I'm sure you can imagine how painful that can be for thrusting into. The simple solution is one that some sex doll manufacturers have found: a slide-in male masturbation sleeve. After your sex doll is blown up and ready for use, you can slide in the included male masturbation sleeve into the penetration holes. Now you have something with more added sensation for you - and something that protects you from the seams of the toy! Plus, easy clean-up! Toys for Men: Prostate Anal Toys Looking to play with other parts of your body? That's where prostate anal sex toys come in. Also known as the "p-spot", the prostate is generally considered the male-bodied version of the "g-spot". That is, any penetration and pressure to the area can be extremely pleasurable and cause orgasm in a lot of guys! The prostate is located in a relatively shallow location in the butt, however, so getting to it may require use of some well-shaped toys. Lucky for us, manufacturers are happy to help fill that need. P-spot anal sex toys are butt-safe toys that are especially designed with the curvature and design you need to hit your own prostate. These types of toys tend to come in two flavors: general prostate sex toys and hands-free prostate sex toys. General prostate sex toys are just that. Some prostate toys are anal plugs while others are dildos. Some may vibrate for added sensation as well. Some men are looking for a new experience, and that's exactly where "hands-free" prostate toys come in. Exactly how it sounds, "hands-free" prostate sex toys are toys that are designed to produce hands-free orgasms. That is, it doesn't require the user to touch their penis or mess with the anal sex toy in order to induce orgasms. These types of hands-free prostate toys require some practice, and it might take months before you're able to experience these hands-free orgasms, but it's definitely a reality for many users with a bit of patience and practice! Toys for Men: Cock Rings If you own a penis, a cock ring might be for you. Exactly how it sounds, a cock ring is a ring of material that goes around the penis. This ring should be a snug fit on the base of the penis, and it will restrict blood flow into the penis. Why is this good? Well, it makes for stronger, harder-feeling erections, can make the penis more sensitive, and it also can help delay ejaculation! Penis rings can be worn around the base of the penis shaft itself, or they can also be worn at the base of the penis and the underneath the balls. Are you still new to cock rings? While these are fun toys for men, they also can be a bit hard to use when you're new to them. If you're new, stick to buying cock rings with flexible and stretchy materials - such as TPR or jelly. You could even pick up disposable, stretchy cock rings for just a couple bucks! Once you've graduated into an experience cock ring user, you can consider going for the full steel or metal options that are out there. Toys for Men: Cock Extenders Next on the list is another penis toy - a penis extender. You can think of these like long, rigid dildos - only the dildo is hollow on the inside to allow a penis-owner to slide their own penis inside. Because the material of a penis extender can be a bit weighty, some extenders may come with their own built-in waist harness or others may use a ring around the balls to keep the extender from sliding off during penetration. Some people like to wear their cock extender just for looks, and others use their extenders during penetration for a thicker and longer feel than their biological penis. Penis extenders will vary on the size, shape, length, and heft of the material of the sex toy. They also will vary on how much sensation the sex toy will allow "through" the material of the extender. In some cases, the wearer can still feel some sensation. In other cases, the material will make that impossible. Make sure to read through some reviews and the manufacturer's marketing copy to have a good idea of what to expect from your penis extender. Toys for Men: Penis Pumps While many penis-owners use penis pumps for medical reasons, penis pumps can be just as fun for sexual reasons. Not only do they allow you to get an "erection on demand", but they also provide an interesting and pleasurable sensation while doing so - and for many users, can leave the penis a lot harder than with an unassisted erection! Penis pumps can vary widely in quality, so make sure to do a bit of review reading before picking out your perfect penis pump. You want to make sure it has a reliable seal, has worked well for others, and doesn't accidentally lose suction through design flaws. Toys for Men: Lube for Men While all lubricants can be "male" lubricants, there are few lubricants especially designed for penis-owner use. One of those personal care products would be any type of "delay" cream. "Delay" lubricants are lubricants crafted with desensitizing ingredients. When used on the penis, it helps reduce the sensation the penis receives - which can make someone last longer before ejaculation. Some "delay" creams are just delay creams - and that's that. Others have the desensitizing ingredients built into an actual slickening lubricant. While usually touted for use during partnered sexual encounters, some people like to use these "delay" lubricants on their own for self-teasing or frustration or just for longer masturbation sessions. The other "male lubricant" includes oil-based "jack off" lubes. Oil-based lubricants are dangerous for use with condoms, and they're usually inhospitable for use in vaginas, so oil-based lubricants are generally considered "penis lubricants". If you see a lube labeled as a male masturbation lubricant, it's likely made of oil-based ingredients. Despite their limited uses, oil-based ingredients are hardy and thick - and last a long, long time - which is what makes them perfect for male masturbation use. Toys for Men: All of the Toys! There's no reason you have to stay within the "toys for men" category when shopping for toys to play with. Yes, there are definitely toys specifically designed for penis owners (such as cock rings, masturbation sleeves, and the others that are mentioned above), but did you know that a lot of penis owners enjoy playing with vibrators and dildos too? If you think a "woman's" toy might be a good fit for you - try it! A lot of guys can reach ejaculation just from a strong vibrator on the frenulum!

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to Give a Good Blow Job!

It is a common question among most women, how do I give a good blow job? In this article we don’t explain how to give a good blow job… but how to give an earth shattering, mind blowing, eye rolling blow job! He will never forget the night you used these techniques and examples. A lot of women and men are self-conscious about their blow jobs and looking for some extra help. Some women and men are confident in their skills but looking for new and interesting techniques to try on their man. Don’t worry, Diskret has you covered. The examples, and techniques below are put together through a massive amount of research, expert interviews, and testimonials. We want to provide you a go-to expert guide for exploring all the avenues on how to give a good blow job. Don’t give another “okay” blow job ever again rather, give him something he will never forget! How to Give a Good Blow Job: Blow Job Engagement: If you want to know how to give a good blow job, you need to be enthusiastic while preforming it! Remember during all acts of sex, you never want to seem dull, disengaged, and not interested. Giving a good blow job can turn you on a lot as well, so get your mind completely engaged in the act. Don’t start the act if you’re not in the mood to finish the job. Some men can go quite awhile during a good blow job so make sure you’re in it for the long haul. If you start and can feel yourself starting to drift and not enjoy it, then you can switch positions to save yourself. Switch to penetrative sex or something new to finish him off. Blow Job Lube: Yes, I know you will be sucking on his penis, that doesn’t mean you should bypass the lube. Lube is very important for any sexual act. Lube reduces the friction on his shaft and can reduce the risk of injury, soreness, rug burn, general uncomfortableness. So, is there a lube that is best when giving a good blow job? I highly suggest a water-based lube or an all-natural lube. It will be safe with any sex toys you might be using. It will also be safe to ingest. Coconut oil is a great natural lube and safe for cooking and to ingest if you’re not allergic. Remember to read the lube bottle first, it will explain the ingredients and if it is safe to ingest. Try to imitate a vagina, but with your lips and mouth. You want it warm, tight, and wet with lots of suction. Typically, the wetter and slipper the better. You can ask your man if he is okay with it being “sloppy” or extremely wet with both lube and saliva. You can also get flavored lube, so you can enjoy a great tasting penis while giving the good blow job. It’s not that a natural penis isn’t mouthwatering… it just can be used for an interesting twist on the standard lube. Blow Job Teasing 101 Want to know how to give a good blow job? Forget that, teasing is how you ramp it up to an earth shattering, eye rolling blow job. You should have him so turned on that he can’t handle another second of his penis not in your mouth. Here are some amazing ways to tease him before and during the blow job: Get his shaft wet with lube and saliva. Start with your hands by caressing the shaft nice and slow. Work your way into more of a hand job motion to get him really worked up. Slowly lick from the base of his shaft to the tip. Grab the shaft and direct the tip around your tongue in circular motions. Lick just the tip and smack it against your tongue. Put the tip in your mouth and rub it against the inside of your cheek. Try just blowing on his tip and shaft softly. Don’t forget to fondle his balls. Eye contact during all these techniques is very important! Pay attention to the tip “it is the most sensitive part” How to Give Great Blow Jobs: Blow Job Positioning: Changing up the positioning during a good blow job is vital. Try having him stand up, sit up, or lay on their back with a pillow. Make sure he has a great view since a good blow job is visual just as much as it is touching and sucking. If you have long hair, tie it up or have him hold it back so he can have a front row seat to the show. You can try facing your butt towards him and letting him touch you while you suck on them. Or tie up his hands and make him watch without touching, whatever you are into. Make sure to keep one, or both hands on him at all times. The more going on the better. If you’re going to give him a hand job before you put the penis in your mouth, remember to use your hands all the way from the tip to the shaft. But do not go from the shaft up, only draw your hands down then release. This way when you suck up and down on him for the first time the blow job will feel twice as good. How to Start a Good Blow Job: You want to know how to give a good blow job, then you need to know how to start it off. The beginning is just as important as the finale, so pay close attention.     Make sure you are both fully relaxed. Nobody can focus on the blow job if they are stressed out or in a rush. Have plenty of time. Just like sex, unless it is a planned “quickie” leave plenty of time. Just because it is a BJ doesn’t mean he will instantly cum. Keep the lube on. Your mouth can get dry if nervous or dehydrated so just keep the shaft lubed to help out. Tease him for at least 3-5 mins. Nobody said go straight for the kill shot. Build the anticipation. Curl your lips around your teeth and focus on the tip to start. The tip is the most sensitive area so even if you can’t “deep throat” no worries. Make sure he enjoys the position you are in. You can literally ask them “do want it like this?” Set the mood with porn on in the background, soft music, or candles. Whatever your style is in your relationship. He doesn’t have to be rock hard before you start to suck it. Sucking on it while it is still soft is a unique sensation for him, and it won’t take long for him to get erect after that. Pace Your Blow Job: If you want to know how to give a good blow job, you need to learn the best blow job pace. This pace will be unique to your partner, and after a couple good blow jobs you will be able to read what he wants. He might thrust his hips slightly if he wants it faster, or just verbally say slower / faster. To start, just make sure you are going at a nice steady rhythmic pace. Its not a race, so in the beginning start slow, otherwise your partner might feel rushed to cum. The orgasmic pressure will build for him the most as you keep your rhythm and slowly increase pace and pressure with your mouth. If your mouth gets tired, don’t be afraid to use your hand to give yourself a break. The change of pace may be welcomed by him and you can crank up the pressure with your hand easier than your mouth. Don’t Obsess Over the Blow Job Stereotypes: Watching porn can help give some good blow job tips and tricks, but don’t obsess over the stereotypes. So, let’s be clear on a few things: Nobody has the right to tell you to swallow. If you don’t want cum in your mouth you don’t have to. Your partner should never push you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Nobody can deepthroat and not gag at times. Deepthroating is not a necessary act for a good blow job. Less than 20% of women are willing to take cum on the face, even though you see it in every porn video. Definitely not necessary for a good blow job. Don’t be afraid to get him right to the edge and finish him with your hands if you don’t want the cum in or around your mouth and face. Blow Jobs Get Better with Sex Toys: It’s a bold statement, I know. But if you are looking to give a mind-blowing blow job, try mixing it up with bringing a sex toy into the mix. You can try out a cock sleeve in your hand to heat things up. Simply hold the sleeve, apply good amounts of natural lube, and use it as though you were giving him a hand job. It will feel unique with the textured sleeve and vibrations on his shaft. You can still apply pressure by squeezing your grip tighter as well.   Another great sex toy to try is a cock ring. These are typically a silicone ring that slides over the penis to the base of his shaft. It can then be turned on to vibrate so during penetrative sex the ring will hit the women’s clitoris. This delivers pleasure to both during sex. However, try sliding a cock ring on and letting it vibrate while you give him a good blow job. The cock ring will constrict around the penis keeping him extra hard, the vibration will add an intense sensation, and you sucking on the rest of the shaft will be a trifecta of sensory overload! Great Blow Job Sensory Play: What techniques and examples should I throw in if I want to know how to give a good blow job? Try just one of these to throw a twist on your average blow job. Warning: he might be asking for a lot more blow jobs after using these! Lick and suck the balls: Some guys find licking the balls to be a major turn on. Most guys wont orgasm solely from this but it adds to the overall experience. Use your hands at the base of the shaft while sucking the tip: It’s a combination of a good blow job and good hand job. Temperature play: Try sucking an ice cube before going down on him. This will add a unique sensation to the already amazing blow job. Long slow licks up the shaft while making eye contact. This one is self-explanatory, we talked about having good enthusiasm during it. This is a great way to be enthusiastic about the blow job. Slide the tip against the inside of your cheek. This will simulate the inside of a body cavity and bring your blow job to the next level. Good Blow Job Wrap-Up In order to give the best blow job possible, keep things simple to start and then slowly progress and branch out your techniques. But get the basics down first. The basic things to remember are make sure both you and him are fully relaxed. Set the mood and have plenty of time to get the job done. Foreplay, foreplay, and more foreplay. Start with kissing, rubbing, and take your time removing his clothes. Then start nice and easy with kissing, licking, and touching his shaft. This will all lead to the anticipation of the actual blow job, making it feel so much more intense for him. In the end, you do what makes you feel the most comfortable. Leave the stereotypes of deepthroat, cum play, and facials to the porn stars if its not your style. A blow job should be sensual and pleasing for you both, not just a man demanding what he wants. Give these techniques a try the next time you go down on him to really blow his mind! Happy blowing!

Blog – by Diskret Life

The Male G-Spot!

The male g-spot might be this dark and mysterious rumor you hear people whispering about. But just like with women, males have a g-spot too! We will go into detail on exactly what it is, where to find it, and of course how to stimulate it! Believe it or not, through many male testimonies it has been determine an orgasm from the male g-spot is 33% more intense than your standard penis orgasm! What makes this so pleasurable? How do men stimulate this g-spot for the most intense orgasm? Let us break down how simple and pleasurable this can really be guys! The male g-spot 101: Where did male g-spot come from? Well its quite simple actually… most men and women know all about the female g-spot. So, they naturally want to know if this extremely pleasurable spot applies to men as well? Who wouldn’t want to know, and how unfair would it be if only the women get all the pleasure?! Well guys, its true… Men have a g-spot just like the ladies however it’s actually your prostate! The only way to directly stimulate a mans g-spot is through the urethra. I know most of you guys just cringed. That’s okay because there is another way. A secondary form of stimulation (indirectly) can be achieved through the anus. Now that doesn’t seem to bad does it? Male g-spot: Anal Play Most sexually curious men and women are interested in anal play. So, if a man is going to test the waters, or perhaps they already have but might not be utilizing it to its fullest potential. Here is what you should know first: Male g-spot location: The male g-spot is not located 8 inches in the body. This gives bad reputation that you need to have massive anal penetration to achieve an orgasm through prostate stimulation. Actually, similar to the female g-spot the male g-spot is located about 3-4 inches in from the rim of the anal cavity. It is about 1 inch in diameter and is just behind the deepest portion of the penis. The male g-spot runs across the urethra. If you feel something similar to a walnut in this location facing your belly, congratulations you’ve found the male g-spot! The male g-spot function: Now unlike the female clitoris the male g-spot has an actual function in the male body beyond bringing mind blow orgasms. The prostate gland’s main function is to secrete fluid during ejaculation. It is part of the semen and helps propel semen through the urethra during ejaculation. This is exactly why the male g-spot is so pleasurable when stimulated. It gives the sensation of an orgasm just by massaging it! Imagine that feeling of just before you orgasm lasting for as long as you want. Now you understand why it’s called the male g-spot! Can A Man Orgasm from the Male g-spot? Is it possible to stimulate a male g-spot until he has an actual orgasm? Why yes, it is! Not just any normal orgasm either. An orgasm induced by stimulating the male g-spot is said to be 33% more intense than the average male orgasm. Not to mention there is no recovery time after he orgasms from this. He can just continue to orgasm as many times as he wishes. Most men are nervous and uncomfortable the first time they start anal play. But through experience and practice this can become one of the most pleasurable ways for any man to masturbate.   Male g-spot mindset: The first steps to stimulating the male g-spot is getting in the correct mindset. Like most sexual acts, being relaxed and turned on is very crucial to bringing yourself or a partner pleasure. You should start with a bowel movement 1-3 hours before you plan on stimulating your male g-spot. Then take a warm shower to wash yourself clean. Feces is stored much higher in your intestinal track so there is really not a big threat of “dirty acts” happening during stimulation. However, a bowel movement and shower may help ease your mind that you are all clean down there. Next climb into bed and get extremely comfortable. You should be so relaxed you could practically fall asleep. You need this calm state of mind to loosen your anal muscles and prepare to receive your finger, partners finger, anal beads, or butt plug. Male g-spot preparation: The second step to stimulating the male g-spot is preparation. Get out the lube! I can’t stress this enough. You need to lube your anus and whatever you plan on putting in it. I suggest starting with your finger since you have complete control and it’s a small diameter. Your anus doesn’t have a natural lube when your turned on like the female vagina. You will need to apply plenty of lube and start with slow pulsating movements of your finger over your anus. Slow shallow circular motions can feel pleasurable as well. Then start to ramp up the pressure you are applying until you can slide your finger in and out without much discomfort. Its important to be turned on during this. You can massage your penis with the other hand, watch porn, or have a partner stimulate you but its about the correct mindset to receive the pleasure! Male g-spot stimulation: Once you can get your finger in the anal cavity, progressively enter more fingers or reach for the male g-spot with just the one. Again, don’t be concerned with fecal matter since you’re not that far in, but if it helps ease your mind you can wear a latex glove or use a condom over your finger. If you are using an anal sex toy to start with, it may feel uncomfortable at first. Especially anal butt plugs. These are designed to be put in and stay in, hands free. So, they have a particularly large bulb that may cause discomfort for a beginner but once you get past that “bulb” it will feel much more comfortable. Remember if you feel any pain, serious discomfort, or bleeding just stop! It might not happen your first go around. If you continue to try you will slowly stretch the required muscles to insert your finger and experience the pleasure. It doesn’t have to be the first time for everyone though.     Male g-spot orgasm: Now that you have stimulated your mind and anal cavity its time to stimulate your male g-spot! This is where all the fun really begins. Work your finger or anal sex toy about 3-4 inches in your body and feel for the walnut that is facing inwards towards your body. Once you find it, slowly and lightly massage it with your finger or anal sex toy. This is your male g-spot! Start with slow circular patterns or the “come here” motion. Increase your pressure as you feel necessary and as the waves of pleasure pass through you. If you are preforming this on your partner, communication is everything! Ask them about the speed and pressure, make slight adjustments as they deem necessary. This communication may not be necessary the more experienced you become, but it should be there for the first handful of times. Flex Your PC Muscles You can also try to stimulate the male g-spot through the “contract and release” method. This is where you flex your PC muscles and relax them. The PC muscles are flexed when you cut off your urine mid-stream. That is how you would “flex” them. So, flex and hold then release. Reenact this sensation during your next male g-spot massage to help achieve a prostate orgasm. I suggest holding the flex for a few seconds then slowly releasing. Once you train your body in this fashion you can use this technique to experience more intense orgasms. When you flex your PC muscles the rectal wall muscles are slightly drawing in the butt plug. This causes it to bump against the male g-spot. This is massaging your male g-spot hands free! The harder you squeeze the harder the bump. You can play around with this to find the right method to receive the most pleasure from your g-spot. Male g-spot Pleasure: Remember that the ultimate goal for anyone stimulating their male g-spot is pleasure! It takes a lot of time, practice, and patience to learn how to achieve orgasm from the male g-spot. This is likely not something you will understand the first time you start anal play. The entire point of simulating the male g-spot is for pleasure. Just have fun with it, stay relaxed, and enjoy the pleasure it provides. If this ends up leading to a male g-spot induced orgasm great! But if not, don’t worry about it. Focusing too hard on the orgasm can actually make it harder to get, and make the overall experience less pleasurable.   Male g-spot orgasmic process: Contractions from male g-spot stimulation: The first sign you are heading towards a male g-spot orgasm is contractions. Stimulate the prostate until you are receiving minor PC and anus contractions that you can not control. You’ll notice a warmth and sensation of fullness in your anus an g-spot location.   Male g-spot build up: The next sign you are heading in the right direction is an increasing tension around the male g-spot. The contractions behind your pubic bone starts to intensify and the warmth grows. Continue down this road for the ultimate orgasm.   Male g-spot trembling: This is where it really gets good… you will transition from the increasing tension and warmth to slight trembling that is completely involuntarily. Its typically focused around the pelvic area. For some, they experience full body trembling! Remember how you got to this point because you are extremely close to a male g-spot orgasm! For many men this is where an erection may start. But don’t focus on the penis. You are about to experience something much more pleasurable than any penis orgasm can bring. Don’t change up your technique, whatever got you here, stick with it. The male g-spot orgasm! (The Big Bang): Now its time for the big bang. You’ve put your time, relaxation, and effort to get this far so you might as well reap the full benefits. Most men report an 33% more intense orgasm from stimulating the male g-spot. After the buildup and trembling your PC muscles start the most intense stage of contractions and release. The feeling of fullness and warmth will surround your entire mid-section. Your penis will likely go soft, but at this point who cares? The incredible waves of pleasure will radiate throughout your entire mid-section. Remember there is no refectory time so if you want to stimulate the male g-spot again right away, go for it. You can receive multiple of these orgasms all in a row! Talk about filling your entire body with complete ecstasy feeling!   Recommended male g-spot sex toys: Ro-Zen:   The Ro-Zen is their latest unique design giving stimulation to the male’s shaft, testicles, perineum, and anal p-spot all at once! This design provides continuous waves of pleasure to the user!   Fantasy Anal C-Ring: As you become fully erect the cock ring provides good constriction around the base of your shaft. This allows you to stay rock hard for extended amounts of time and also prolongs your orgasm.   Linger Wood Anal Beads: The shape of the NobEssence wood anal beads are designed with a slight curve to hit the p-spot. It has a silky-smooth, complex, biocompatible lubrosity coating on it. The wood adapts quickly with your body temperature and stays warm.  

Blog – by Diskret Life

Multiple Orgasms!

You've had single orgasms, and you're ready to figure out how to have multiple orgasms. Maybe you've given it a couple of times and maybe this is your first stop on a curious journey, but either way, we're glad that you're looking for new pleasure avenue for your body! No matter what your genitals are, your body is likely capable of learning how to have multiple orgasms. Each distinct orgasm may not feel the same as the current orgasms you've grown to know and love, but with practice, self-learning, and time, it's possible for most bodies to learn to enjoy multiple climaxes. To get started on your journey to learn how to have multiple orgasms, start with these tips: How To Have Multiple Orgasms: Step 1: Stop Feeling the Pressure After the entire spiel, I know you're ready to jump into your masturbation session and force your body to do exactly what you want. It's YOUR body, after all - shouldn't it do what you want? Unfortunately, that type of mindset doesn't tend to work too well when it comes to learning how to have multiple orgasms (or in most sexual topics, really). Instead, you're going to have to learn how to let go of the pressures you're feeling to have those multiple orgasms. I know, I know. You're reading all of this to learn how to have multiple orgasms, and you're eager to put it into use. But at the same time, such a single-focus on a single "achievement" is surprisingly detrimental to your sexuality. What if your body doesn't do it easily? What if it takes months (or years!) to learn how to have multiple orgasms? If you're only focused on meeting your goal, you're going to feel awfully disappointed in yourself until you manage it. Another alternative is to focus on the pleasure and the journey. Instead of focusing on achieving those multiple orgasms, focus on the fact that you're learning new things about yourself. Your goals could include smaller, self-discovery things like "Find a new pleasure spot" or "Enjoy stimulation after my first orgasm". Focusing on the journey - and the self-discovery - that learning how to have multiple orgasms can give you is more likely to lead to success in the end.   Step 2: Schedule Lots of Time You probably have a good idea of how much time it takes for you to have a single orgasm. But if you're hoping to train your body into having multiple orgasms, you're likely going to need a lot more time than that. Especially if your body doesn't have single orgasms easily, you'll want to plan out a good amount of time - at least two hours. This gives you plenty of time in the process. It especially gives you a bit of time to enjoy the sensation of your growing arousal. "Quickie" is not the name of the game if you're trying to learn how to have multiple orgasms. Instead, you should be planning a "slow burn" of your arousal. The more aroused you are to begin, the easier it's going to be for your body to have a chance at multiple orgasms. Bask in the pleasure of the arousal and sexuality, and you're more-likely to enjoy those multiple orgasms. Step 3: Pick Your Favorite, Non-Numbing  Sex Toy Do you usually use your hands? What about sex toys? Depending on what's been going on, you might need to switch it up. If you've been trying to learn how to have multiple orgasms with your fingers without much luck, it might be time to give sex toys a try. If you've been trying to learn how to have multiple orgasms with your favorite wand vibrator, it might be time to give your fingers a try - or at least a different sex toy. While some sex toys work fantastically for the first orgasm, they can reduce sensation for further orgasms, so it's worth experimenting with a few different methods of pleasure to find a good one that seems like it might produce a lot of orgasmic results.   In particular, a lot of vagina-owning individuals are finding success with air-suction toys such as the Womanizer series or the Satisfyer series. These toys work by surrounding the clitoris and providing pleasurable, pulsating suction. Both lines of toys have been known to provide women's first experiences with multiple orgasms, and it might be worth exploring if you're not finding success with your current fingers and sex toys.   Step 4: Play as Much as You'd Like Now that you're set up and ready to play, it's time to do just that: play! Like we've mentioned before, you need to set aside some good time to enjoy that playtime. Let your fingers explore your body. Enjoy the building orgasmic energy as you get closer and closer to orgasm. You might even consider edging yourself and allowing yourself to get near to orgasm and then back away again. You might consider experimenting with your orgasmic cues and how you've always reached orgasm. I know, I know. You know exactly what your body likes, but that's just it: if we do what your body always does, your body is going to do what it always does! That means that it may not achieve those multiple orgasms from the way you're doing things. Instead, consider mixing things up. In particular, as you approach orgasm, consider pushing outwards instead of letting your muscles tighten. Consider focusing on allowing your body, and your muscles, to relax against the impending orgasm, and see if that allows your body to climb up that orgasmic wave again and again. Step 5: Never Cease Stimulation Another common tip that's given is to never cease stimulation. Even after you've had your orgasm and things feel sensitive, you need to continue to stimulate your orgasmic areas and your body. Even if it's not through direct pressure (as the area is too sensitive), consider playing around with the surrounding areas and keeping the sexual energy high instead of letting it drop back down. Multiple orgasms can be as mental as they are physical, and you need to keep your brain riding high on that sexual arousal! You've given those steps a chance, but you're still not finding that multi-orgasmic bliss that you've been dying for. That's perfectly fine! I'd never want you to stress about something that's integrated with your sex life, but at the same time, I understand if you're just trying to "find out what all the fuss is about". If your body isn't cooperating with some of the above tips, you might want to jump into the trenches and consider some of these more time-intensive options: How to Have Multiple Orgasms Troubleshooting: Read Some Books: I've given you some basic information on how to have multiple orgasms, but let's be fair: what I've written is nowhere near the depth and breadth of what you can find in a book purely designed for that purpose. Instead of a 10 minute read, you'll spend hours learning about the basics of your anatomy, how to improve the likelihood of enjoying multiple orgasms, and how to go about masturbating and having sex in a way that'll help your body coax out those waves of pleasure. So with that in mind, if you're ready to dive even further into the journey for multiple orgasms, it's time to pick up an educational book. Books we'd recommend include "The Multi-Orgasmic Woman" by Mantak Chia and Rachel Carlton Abrams, "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams, "The Multi-Orgasmic Couple" by all four aforementioned authors, "The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women" by Mikaya Heart, or "Female Ejaculation: Unleash the Ultimate G-Spot Orgasm" by Jeffre TallTrees and Somraj Pokras. While some of these books are specifically-focused on how to have multiple orgasms, others are just focused on orgasms in general - including how to get in touch with your body's orgasmic potential. That can help you down the road as you're trying to learn how to coax your body into enjoying multiple orgasms.   How to Have Multiple Orgasms Troubleshooting: Practice Those Kegels! Do you know that your pelvic floor muscles are pretty intricately tied into your orgasms and orgasmic potential? When you're getting close to orgasm, you can feel a tightening of the muscles around your genital areas. A good chunk of these muscles are part of the pelvic floor. That lovely tightening and releasing that you experience during orgasm? Yep, you guessed it! It's caused by the tightening and releasing of the muscles of the pelvic floor. As you can imagine, this makes your pelvic floor muscles - and their strength or lack thereof - an important part of your orgasmic potential. Some people find that their pelvic floor muscles are so tight after orgasm that it makes it near-impossible to get them to tighten strongly enough for another orgasm. Some people find that their pelvic floor muscles are so exhausted after the first orgasm that they're unable to tighten up enough to cause another orgasm. That's why knowing your body - and practicing your kegels - can be a fantastic addition to learning how to have multiple orgasms. Practice Kegel PC Muscles: Practicing your kegels doesn't have to be hard, either. First, in case you don't know what those muscles are, we need to give you a simple way to figure out where those muscles are located. Lucky for us, we use them multiple times a day. Next time you're peeing, stop midstream. There you go. Those are the pelvic floor muscles we need to target. Get an idea of what those muscles are, what they feel like to control, and then finish your restroom time.   At another time (doing kegels during urination is NOT recommended), you'll need to spend some time focusing on these muscles. Lucky for us, doing kegel exercises are virtually impossible to see (unless you have a “kegel exercise face”). That means you can do them while you're busy. Watching your favorite TV show on the couch? Think about your kegel muscles. Standing in line at your coffee shop? Could be kegel time. Bored at your office desk waiting for an e-mail response to come in? There you go: kegels! Kegal Workouts: So what are you supposed to do with those kegel muscles once you've "thought" about them? Well, you're supposed to work them out - just like any other muscle on the body! That includes tightening them and releasing the tension - over and over. As you start, you might consider a simple exercise such as "Tighten as tight as possible for 5 seconds then slowly release the tension for 5 seconds then repeat". As you get better at isolating those muscles, you might reduce the seconds to 3 seconds or 2 seconds. As your experience grows, you may even consider small "pulses" of the muscles - maybe even to the beat of your favorite music! The important part is that you're isolated the muscles, squeezed them, and made them workout. Once you feel like you're ready for more of a challenge, it might be time to consider picking up kegel balls - or reading some articles about advanced kegel exercises. In the journey to learn how to have multiple orgasms, being in touch with your pelvic floor muscles and having control over them can go a long way!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Liberator Shapes!?!

What are Liberator Shapes? In the effort to get that "perfect" angle for penetration, I bet you've used a lot of things. The most common happens to be piles of pillows stacked on top of each other, but lots of people experiment with other things: arms of the furniture, piles of blankets, and more. We all know that new angles for the hips can increase pleasure and help hit some of those "special" places, but it can be hard to get the body to fold into that perfect manner on its own. That's exactly what Liberator Shapes were made for. Made from high-quality, very-dense foam, Liberator Shapes are light-weight pieces of sex furniture made in various sizes and designs. Whether you're looking to hold a sex toy in place. Or lift the hips a bit more for missionary position, have a perfectly comfortable surface to help support your body during doggy style. Or just want a full piece of furniture with lovely curves just for sex purposes, the Liberator Shapes were designed to help out. The full range of shapes offers specialized sex positioning help - including shapes with optional bondage points as well. Designed for the realities of sex, each Liberator shape comes equipped with a removable, washer-safe cover. Underneath that outer removable layer is an inner water-resistant layer that protects the foam at the core. This helps keep your Liberator shapes in tip-top shape for as long as possible - even through the realities of intense squirting or messy sex. In addition, in case you ever harm the outer layer of material or stain it irreversibly, Liberator also sells extra covers for most of their shapes. You may need to contact customer support to find out what colors and options they offer for your particular shape. Why Should I Use A Liberator? Like we've mentioned, getting that perfect position can be pretty hard without some "help" from your environment. Missionary can be hot as-is, but it can help hit the g-spot when the hips are tilted up at an angle towards the ceiling. Holding that position, though, can be pretty exhausting on the muscles, and nobody wants to be focused on struggling muscles rather than the hot sex they're having! That's where the Liberator Shapes come in. Designed to make your sex easier to hold, the shapes are individually crafted to help keep the body into specific positions to make it easier to enjoy sex without worries about having to strain in that position. Doggy style can be so much more fun for you when you have your hands free to touch yourself or your partner because your weight is resting on a soft cushion. No, nobody needs one of these for sex, but it's going to be hard to go back to sex without them once you've started integrating them into your sex positions and sex life! Much like a vibrator, a sex toy, or a sex swing, Liberator shapes are fantastic sex accessories designed to enhance and add to your sex life. Use them as a tool to make your current sex even better!   How Does It Work for Plus-Sized Bodies? Yes! Most Liberator shapes are designed for a plethora of body shapes to begin with. For many bodies, you'll find that the space allowed on most of their standard, regular shapes will be enough room to support your body just fine. Consider taking a measurement of your laid-out width and comparing it to the width of the Liberator shape you're looking to purchase if you're worried. However, if you're concerned, Liberator makes a few of their shapes available in a plus-size variant. The variant includes more width to allow for more support for larger bodies. Available on their most popular designs, Liberator makes a plus-size Wedge and a plus-size Ramp. In addition, they've customized some of their optional accessories (such as the Black Label bondage covers and storage covers) for these plus-size variants as well. If you're worried about using these shapes as a plus-size body, you don't need to be! The foam that Liberator uses is extremely supportive - and even the largest bodies will still enjoy a noticeable boost up and support when using Liberator shapes. There's a reason the shapes receive such positive reviews in most areas. Are They Used with Sex Toys? Yes! In addition to making shapes just designed for penetrative sex, Liberator also makes shapes designed to hold your toys in place. Not only does that mean skipping trying to make a DIY alternative, but it usually means that the sex toys are held in the perfect place every time - with no fussing or frustrating adjustments. The sex positioning company makes mounts to hold wand vibrators. These mounts have space for cords to run through the mounts, and they'll hold the wand in a place that's designed for optimal clitoral sensation. Check out the Wanda Magic Wand Toy Mount, the Axis Magic Wand Toy Mount, or the Tula Toy Mount if that's of interest to you. Liberator also makes mounts designed to hold dildos for penetrative use. Much like a strap-on harness, these mounts will hold the base of most dildos in place to provide a hands-free and stable way to "ride" your sex toys without having to hold them. Some Liberator sex toy mounts also feature deep, tight channels designed to hold onto the handle of any non-flared-base dildos or vibrators. Depending on what sex toys you plan on using with your sex toy mount, make sure you've done a bit of research to see what channels and holding mechanisms your Liberator toy mount is equipped with. If you're looking to hold a dildo or vibrator for your use, look into the Tula Toy Mount, the Wing Sex Toy Mount, the BonBon Sex Toy Mount (our personal favorite!), or the Pulse Sex Toy Mount. In addition, as we mention below, Liberator also makes a few shapes designed for use with Fleshlight male masturbation sleeves.   What About Men? All Liberator shapes can be used for men! There's no rule that a partner who is receptive to penetration must be a woman, so any of these shapes can be used for pegging and anal sex on male-bodied individuals as well. Plus, if you're going to be enjoying partnered, heterosexual intercourse, most men will get some great use of these as well. Try switching it up with a "woman on top" position if your guy would like some chance to lay back and enjoy the added enjoyment. Outside of that, Liberator actually makes a few shapes designed for male masturbation sleeve use. The Fleshlight Top Dog and Fleshlight on a Mission Liberator shapes are shapes made from the sturdy Liberator foam you've come to love and know: only they include small tunnels. These small tunnels are where you slip a Fleshlight into the shape. This allows the Fleshlight to stay nicely tucked into the channel for hands-free Fleshlight use that's at the perfect height and angle. It's worth noting that you don't need to use a Fleshlight brand sleeve with the Liberator furniture if you don't have one, but the channels were specifically designed for standard-size Fleshlights. In addition, the male masturbation sleeve you choose to use with your shape should have a closed case design. It's not easy to clean the interior Liberator shape's channel after use, so any masturbation sleeve you use should "catch" most of your own mess afterwards to reduce the damage on the mount. What Type Of Maintenance Is Required? Luckily for you, Liberator shapes were designed to be as stress-free as possible! As mentioned before, most Liberator shapes come with two layers of material. The inner-most layer is a water-resistant layer that protects the crafted foam of the shape. The outer-most layer is a machine-washable, colorful layer that can easily be removed after every use for cleanliness purposes. Each layer zips on easily with a zipper - and can be removed just as easily with that zipper. After each use, you can easily unzip the outermost layer and toss it into the laundry machine. Wash the cover as stated on your product's instructions (each item will have different instructions). Some covers will allow you to use the dryer as well. After the cover is fully dry, just zip it back onto your shape! It might be a tighter fit after the washing process, but it's the right size for your shape. Depending on which Liberator shape you own, you might have to get creative with storage. Some Liberator shapes can double as "yoga blocks" - which makes it easy to explain when anyone comes across the Ramp in the corner. Other shapes are harder to explain, and they may be better off in the back corner of your closet until you're ready to use them. What’s Most Popular? It's hard to beat the popularity of the wedge and ramp! Some of the oldest offerings from Liberator also happen to be their most popular. If a retailer carries these, they likely carry these two iconic shapes. Why such the popularity? Well, these two shapes are just so darn multi-faceted. Either shape can be used perfectly for lifting the hips perfectly during missionary position. Then the next night, you can lay over one for weight support during doggy style. The next night, the partner receiving oral sex can elevate their hips to allow for easier access (and less neck cramps!) for the giver. The next, the Wedge or Ramp can be used to elevate the hips for the laying partner on a "cowgirl" position. They're pretty versatile shapes; it's no surprise that they're some of the most popular shapes out there! Other Sex Accessories? Like many sex retailers, they craft a large variety of accessories designed to improve your sex. However, they go beyond just shapes. First off, you might find yourself wide-eyed by the large variety of sex furniture that they craft. These large pieces might rival the size of your couch! Each piece is crafted with the same attention to detail and features as their smaller-sized shapes - but much larger for full-body use. While it's much harder to hide these full furniture pieces, they can add a whole new dimension to your sex life - and who doesn't want to add furniture to their home that's purely designed for better sex? In addition to the furniture, Liberator also crafts full-sized sex beanbags designed for two (or more!) people! Second off, their Liberator Throws are regularly-recommended as a fantastic addition to the bedroom. A Liberator Throw is a waterproof blanket designed for sex. Unlike other "waterproof blankets" which look medical or are disposable, the Liberator Throw is designed to catch all of the messes - while looking like an integral and sensual part of your sexual experience. After you're done, just toss the blanket into the washing machine. The Liberator Throw is known as a fantastic accessory for squirters - or anyone else who likes wet, messy, or food play. It's available in a standard or a King-size. Protect your furniture while enjoying worry-free sex.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Oral Sex Seduction!

Who doesn’t like the act of Cunnilingus (aka yoni worship), btw did that word make you cringe or did it send a wave of orgasmic bliss down your spin? Don’t worry ladies I am diving deep into the art of fellatio (lingam worship) as well. Now don’t be shy we all love oral sex and having our vagina’s and penis’s worshipped and aroused via a nice moist mouth. Let’s talk about the ever so magical vagina/ yoni and how incredibly juicy it is. Without it, we would not be here, let us not forget the spark plug to our desire (the clitoris). Not every owner of a vagina loves clitoral stimulation, but those of us who do are typically BIG fans. I felt that this would be an excellent opportunity to talk, clitoris-owner to clitoris-lover, Clitoris- enthusiast or those who are hoping to become one. In case you have never seen a vulva, save yourself the neck ache of leaning over and spreading. Here is a labeled diagram of an incredible beautiful yoni. Also, don’t despair I have more links and reads for you to indulge in some highly informative yoni 101 information. Before we go any further, make sure your body is in good health and not carrying any STDs. Oral Sex “The Penis”: Ladies if you have yet to worship a penis lingam or are one of the few women that closes their eyes while performing this incredibly pleasurable act lets take you through the 101’s on the penis (umm yes it’s a diagram of the penis). “Fellatio,” comes from the Latin, fellare, to suck. Fellatio is popular but by no means universal. According to a recent survey by researchers at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, 60 to 90 percent of adult men have received oral sex at least once, with 50 to 80 percent of those age 21 to 49 saying they’ve received oral sex during the past year—20 to 50 percent of men over 50. If your lovemaking includes fellatio (oral sex), here’s how women can boost their own confidence and men’s enjoyment. Okay so some woman are not givers, however, expect to always be receivers of pleasure, hate to burst your bubble but this is a two-way street where all desire is created equal. Oral Sex “Communication”: Before any acts of sexual delight begin always make sure that you and your lover are on the same page and want the same thing ( consent is sexy). You should check in multiple times with your lover. If you are unsure about whether or not it is okay to kiss them, ASK. Once you have permission, you can start thinking about the heavier stuff. Oral sex isn’t nearly as exciting, literally and figuratively, without a hot, lengthy make-out session. Before you even think to take off their undergarments, you should spend time kissing and exploring their bodies. This experience is new to you, so relish it. Make them feel wanted. Start with the neck and kiss their backs and tummies before you even get their bra (if they wear one) off. This is a tip for the men. A lot of women simply don’t feel comfortable receiving oral sex. Oral Sex for Women: For some women, this is due to insecurities about their scent or taste, or their internalized beliefs that their genitals are “ugly”. Some worry that their partners are finding the experience unpleasant. Others dislike being the center of attention or find themselves unable to relax when receiving. Women are socialized to be hypercritical of their bodies, so having your eyes, nose, and mouth right in the middle of one of the most sensitive parts of the female body is going to evoke at least a little resistance. Do not even think of touching any part of your partner’s vagina with dry fingers or lips. Remember your diagram: Outer labia/lips, inner labia/lips, vaginal entry toward the bottom, clitoris and its external hood to the top. All parts should have your attention. If you are so inclined (as well as your partner), there is also the ass to consider. For now, consider that a lovely area to grasp on to when you are really getting into things. If You’re a beginner take it easy on yourself and focus on learning one new thing at a time. I just need your extra time and your kiss- Prince These crib notes aren’t just intended for the gentleman as I realize woman also love to give oral sex to other women so do with this information as you please. Now to begin breathing through your nose, otherwise, you may accidentally blow a raspberry on her Yoni/vagina Keep your lips close to the labia and kiss it, drag your tongue over it, and then use more pressure and force. Slip your tongue inside, along with a finger or two.  Make a beckoning motion with a finger or two if they like being penetrated. Your partner will let you know if it is okay to put more in there. I also always have a clitoral stimulator nearby aka a vibrator I highly recommend the we-vibe touch. This incredible love tool is pure silicone, waterproof, rechargeable with eight vibrations make her moan and scream with pleasure.     Give oral sex everything you got: Every part – outer and inner labia, vagina, clitoral hood, clitoris– should be licked, kissed, and made to feel warm, wet, and wanted. Long, flat licks work really well on me because they cover so much area. The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings whereas the penis has around 4,000. Keep that in mind before you spend too much time on it unless you are directed to do so.  The clit is also a lot like a tiny little penis, so if you have ever gone down on one, it’s not much different.  As it swells, you can see that the little button is like the head of a penis, and is at the tip of a shaft. That small shaft needs to be stimulated, as well, either orally or with your fingers. Rub up and down with your mouth and/or fingers while stimulating the tip (or not the tip, depending on how much stimulation your partner can handle). According to Dr Lisa she states that women do not have an orgasm through vaginal penetration and that many times it is only achieved through clitoral stimulation. About 70 percent of women experience situational anorgasmia, which is when a woman is able to orgasm only during certain situations, such as through oral sex or masturbation, just some food for thought. Silence is not golden in the oral sex arena: If you are confused, ask what your partner likes. For those reading this that are on the receiving end, make sure you are telling your partner when they are doing a good job or when they’re doing something that you are not fond of.  They’re not a mind reader though they should be able to catch non-verbal cues.  Make it easy on both of you by telling them when something feels incredible.  The good people at Good Therapy have an insightful article in the art of communication, My personal favorite is about Understanding and communication ins which they state -“Listening can be tough, especially when the other person is saying something that triggers a defensive response in you. Remind yourself that you will also have a turn; right now it’s important to tune in and not interrupt. Make eye contact and be fully present with your partner. You can demonstrate being present by focusing exclusively on the conversation and what’s being said. It might be helpful to view the discussion as involving two subjective perspectives rather than one person being “right” or “wrong”. If you’re not clear on something, ask a thoughtful question or two to make sure you really understand. You might even say, “Am I getting that right?” or, “I want to make sure I understand; tell me if I’m hearing you correctly” Take turns talking and listening to each other. Spending just 10 minutes focused on the other person sharing their perspective can make a significant difference. If you find things are escalating, take a 5-minute break and come back.” Don’s stop till you get enough- MJ Just keep doing it, my loves!  It might take a while, or you may have one of those magical folks who get off right away. You may also have a partner who has multiple orgasms, so what are multiple orgasms? Multiple orgasms occur when a person climaxes more than once during a period of sexual activity. They are more common in women, but not all women have them. Most women have the capacity to have multiple orgasms, but past research suggests only about 15% actually do. Multiple orgasms have not been studied extensively, and much of what is known comes from patients’ personal stories. There are also varying definitions of what multiple orgasms are. For example, some experts believe that multiple orgasms occur one right after the other, with little “down time” in between. Women stay aroused in between each one. You will get tired.  If you need a break, use the flat part of your tongue and do the wide, long laps from bottom to top.  Conversely, you can bite your tongue to use your neck muscles rather than your tongue muscles.  It creates a firm tongue that you can drag all over the place.  This has been especially effective for me when really going at it once we’ve gotten to the brink of orgasm. Once the inner thighs start trembling, here is your signal to continue as you are now in the promised land, congratulations you have officially rocked your lover’s world. Let’s head down the path of fellatio shall we, I love to call this act of love lingam/penis worship. Ladies and for those gentlemen who love giving other gentlemen this type of pleasure this part if for you. So just like us woman, men are also self-conscious about their penis size, it is known as penis anxiety and is real and common: In one study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 30 percent of tested were very dissatisfied with their penis size. The study found no link, however, between size anxiety and actual penis size. Not all erections were created equal. Those who measured their penises after oral sex or intercourse sported larger penises than those who relied on fantasy alone, the study found. So be aware that he might perhaps be as uncomfortable as you are going into this act of pleasure. Lets head down the path of fellatio shall we, I love to call this act of love lingam/penis worship. Ladies and for those gentlemen who love giving other gentlemen this type of pleasure this part if for you. Your Eyes are the windows to seduce his soul: There is nothing that arouses your partner more than your eyes as you unzip their pants, next to this exhilarating move is be enthusiastic. Do not cover your head in the bed sheets as you are in complete control of your lover, what could be more exciting than that! You might want to start with teasing just the head of the penis with the tongue or just licking the shaft. Again, take your time. Watch his reactions. Remember that the head is the most sensitive part of the penis for many men, and could be a great place to start, or it may be too much at first. When you feel you are ready to go a little further, you might want to incorporate your hand along with your mouth, either grasping the base of the penis (you can try stroking if you feel coordinated) or massaging the testicles, or both.   Keep it interesting, Play with speed and motion: Once you have his penis in your mouth, there are a few things you can do. Experiment with the speed of movement, alternating between fast and slow. Take breaks if you’re tired or if your jaw starts to hurt. You can alternate your blowjob with hand-job or Boob-Job break, perhaps this the perfect time to gather some lube. When it comes to lube I always highly recommend water lube, silicon tends to be harder to clean and gathers bacteria rapidly. At this point in the game you might want to ask your lover to let you know when he is about to finish, perhaps you like his milkshake on your body or you don’t mind drinking him down. The key to swallowing for a beginner is not tasting it. An advanced head giver might play with it in their mouth but that’s your choice. I’m not one for interrupting the moment, so I don’t recommend spitting it out (unless you’re going to sop it back up). When that tangy (sometimes bitter) secretion flows, think of it as yogurt and swallow. I can not express the importance of consistent communication also be intuitive watch his body as this will indicate if he is nearly about to ejaculate and or still has some time to reach his climax. Oral Sex Conclusion: As we reach the end it is important to remember that both men and woman truly enjoy the act of oral sex, although some more than others. Oral sex gives you permission to express yourself in a new way, showing your lover how much you're enjoying their generous oral stimulation. The sexiest oral sex is the one that allows you to fully enjoy your lover's stimulation, so explore the find What would work best for you and your lover.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Couple’s Sex Games!

Having a sex routine is great! However, it can become just that, the same old routine. This might require some spicing up… If that’s the case a lot of guides to “spice up your sex life” can be awkward and require uncomfortable conversations. Try a sex game to make things fun, light, and change up that mundane routine! Introducing a new sex game to the bedroom, can make you laugh, turn you on, and make a rememberable night! It’s exciting to pick a different sex game every now and then. Sex games have really adapted over the years and now you can just purchase one ready-to-go in a box. However, if you want to make your own, it can be a bit more thoughtful. Instead of pulling out and reading instructions for a boxed sex game… Just make your own sexy and fun rules at the start. Sex Games 101: This should go without saying but during your sex games keep in mind there is no winner or loser. You both win from getting fun sexual pleasure in new forms. Remember to communicate and stay loose. It’s called a game for a reason… have fun with it! Don’t stress the small details, just come prepared. If your game is going to require a timer, dice, cards, board, lube, sex toy, or any accessories remember to have it in the room ahead of time. If you start a sex game and don’t like it, just tell your partner and give a different one a go. It’s okay to stop mid-sex game and move on to something new. Top Rated Couples Sex Games: Stop & Go Sex Game This sex game requires you to set a timer under 5 minutes. You have 5 minutes to preform any sexual act you want on your partner. Once the timer goes off you must stop and switch positions with your partner. At that point your partner would preform the exact same sexual act on you. This sex game requires you to know each other’s limits and trust each other. It will be a huge tease and turn on having 4 minutes of extreme pleasure to be left hanging… until the timer goes off again. The sexual acts in this sex game can be anything from kissing to penetrative sex in specific positions. Pleasure Cards Sex Game This sex game requires a little bit of thought ahead of time but can be extremely fun! Sit down with your partner with a blank stack of index cards. You then trade off writing down sexual acts you want to preform on each other. You can even write some cards for them, to perform on yourself. This is fun, and a huge turn on just fantasizing about each sexual card. Make sure to have the cards split into “his” and “her” stacks. Then trade off picking cards and preforming the act in the bedroom. Porn Star Sex Game It’s time to bring out your inner porn star! Now stay with me here… Turn on some feminist porn that both of you can enjoy. Now there are varying degrees to this sex game, but you want to pick a sexual act that happens in the porno, to reenact that you both agree on. Maybe you’ll find your new go-to position or might discover you’re just not that flexible. But it will give you some new ideas and show you exactly how to do it. If you’re level “expert” on this sex game you can reenact every porn scene as it’s happens! Seek & Destroy Sex Game Everyone has seen the movie scene where they rip each other’s clothes off like ravage wild beasts before having mind-blowing, rough, passionate sex. We all have wanted to give it a go, but let’s be honest… who wants to destroy any of their clothes? For this sex game, simply go out and buy some very cheap clothes, and set a date you plan to have them on that afternoon. Then tear those clothes off their body by any means necessary. Bonus points if you can do it with your teeth! House Showing Sex Game For this sex game you can role play as a realtor and someone interested in purchasing your home. But the rules are pretty simple, nobody orgasms until you’ve had sex in every room of the house. This will require you to get a bit creative. Some rooms have couches, others only counter tops. Have fun with this sex game and take advantage of each room’s unique furniture. Sex Toy Teasing Sex Game                             For this sex game, shop a trusted sex toy retailer, pick something out together that you both find interesting. It can be something like a quality vibrator. Which might seem like a sex toy only for her but that’s not true because the guy can get extreme pleasure just from using it on her! Plenty of quality sex toys for gay and lesbian’s out there as well! Something like a cockring might be great since it will be pleasurable for both individuals. Once you picked out a high-quality sex toy, you have to set a date that you plan to use it. You can’t open it or use it until then! The anticipation alone will be a huge turn on. Talk and text each other about it… tell each other how you can’t wait to use it on them. The Red Room Sex Game Make a at home DIY sex dungeon. How involved you want to get with it is up to you. The main thing is that it can be cleaned up and put away relatively easy. Unless you want a permanent sex room that is! However, this sex game can be cheaper than you expect. Couple props like whips, feathers, sex toys, hand cuffs, and a bed will do the trick! Change the lighting to dark or dim lite. If you buy lights that changes colors, you can set it to something different for a cool effect. Girls, pull out your leather boots and lingerie for extra effects. Tie each other up and tease until you can’t handle it anymore! Monkey See, Monkey Do Sex Game For this sex game you both strip down and sit facing each other on the bed. Designate who starts out as the “instructor” and “follower”. The instructor will begin to touch the follower.  Then the follower needs to copy touching the instructor in the exact same manor. Through this sex game, you can show your partner exactly how you like to be touched. Plus, its just hot as hell learning through touching and kissing. The Mystery Sex Toy Game Blindfold and tie your partner to the bed to start this sex game. Then tease them all over with a mysterious sex toy you pick out. It can be a quality sex toy, or something as simple as a feather. Have them try to guess exactly what it is your stroking, caressing, and penetrating them with! Communication is key, if they feel any discomfort make sure they tell you. Park It Sex Game For this sex game you need a decent size car and park it in your driveway or garage, so you are mainly out of site. At night would be best for this one. This might give you flash backs to when you were in high school, but go in the car, leave it off or just leave the radio on. Then snuggle up with some blankets and start with some long foreplay. This one won’t be the most comfortable so being extremely turned on before you start will be key to this sex game.   Naked Twister Sex Game For this sex game, pull out your old twister board game and blow the dust off that thing! This is adult style twister. Start with clothes on, as each game progresses or ends, take a piece of clothes off until your getting intertwined fully naked. You can even try some really impressive sex positions while on the mat. This always makes for a good story and laugh. Lube each other up and bring out some sex toys to really spice it up.   Retail Sex Game Give your partner a budget and send them into a sex toy shop or to an online sex toy retailer. Tell them they can pick out one item (sex toy or lingerie) and they can watch you use it or wear it for one night. Don’t let them show you what they purchased. This will help build the anticipation leading up to that night. Then enjoy watching their jaw drop as you walk out with the sexy item! Pong Style Sex Game Most of us have played a game or two of beer pong back in the day. But this time set the game up on your dining room table and skip the brew. Arrange the 16 ounce plastic cups in a tringle shape on both ends of the table. Take turns throwing the ping-pong ball into each other’s cups. When you make one your partner must take off a piece of clothes, and you remove that cup. The person who becomes fully naked first must perform the sexual act that their partner (the winner) chooses. Keep it fun and light in nature of course! Pick a Card, Any Card Sex Game Start with a basic deck of cards and assign each suit a unique sexy meaning. For example, maybe hearts represent oral, diamonds is kissing, clubs is hand stimulation, and spades is penetrative sex. Take turns picking cards from the stack and preforming the acts on each other for a designated amount of time. The numbers on the cards can be how many seconds you preform the act for. So, if you pick the 9 of clubs you can finger her for 9 seconds. But if she picks the Ace of spades she blows you for only one second (but honey… sorry that’s the way the cards were dealt).   Make it a Story Sex Game This sex game can be really fun, but risky as well. Don’t risk full-on public nudity as it is against the law… but do test the limits of how kinky you can get outside the comfort of your own home. Try hooking up in a friend’s bathroom during a house party, or some serious foreplay at a nearby park, maybe in the elevator at the hotel. This one is pretty open but discus it ahead of time so your both on the same page when it comes to this sex game!   Sex Game Wrap Up: All these sex games can heat up your sex life and really pull you out of your comfort zone. This might be exactly what you need to help your mundane sex routine get blown up! Make sure you discuss the game with your partner so you both know what to expect. It might not be the smoothest game the first time around, but each time you play the sex game will get better. You will know exactly what accessories you want in an arm’s reach and exactly what your partner liked the most about the game. Keep things light, fun, safe and enjoy the ride!

Blog – by Diskret Life

BDSM Games!

What are BDSM games? Just how it sounds, BDSM games are games with a focus on BDSM and kink. In many cases, these games are designed to be played with two people within a romantic or kinky relationship, but some BDSM games are designed for play at large-group kink gatherings. In most of these games, BDSM games are designed for arousal and sexual purposes, but some BDSM games can be crafted for giggling and fun. The purpose of each individual game will depend on the individuals involved, the board game purchased, or how the individuals are feeling. Just like the term "game" is very wide and expansive and can include such a huge variety of things, the term "BDSM games" is just as flexible. The only requirement is that the game includes some aspect of sexuality and kink. Why do I want to play BDSM games? BDSM doesn't always have to be so serious! While BDSM is usually portrayed as a very serious, very intense way to practice kink, BDSM doesn't have to be that way. In fact, it can be stressful to never have any fun and playful back-and-forth in a BDSM relationship. This is where BDSM games come in. Not only are games fun, but they're easy to play and are usually light-hearted and enjoyable. Instead of placing a lot of pressure on either partner to constantly perform and be ready to respond to the changes in a scene, BDSM games provide a pre-made game design to play within. This allows both partners to relax and play within the games' parameters. How do I play BDSM games safely? Just like regular BDSM, you'll want to play your BDSM games safely. The first step in doing this is to talk about a safeword. A "safeword" is a word that, if spoken, means that something is wrong and that all play needs to stop. Your safeword should be something not normally spoken within a play context like "paperwork" or "elephant". "Red" is the most-common safeword. "Safewords" work particularly well as they're clear, unambiguous ways of stating there's a problem. Especially with playful banter and people who love to be "forced" into service (“Oh no, Master, please don't spank me!”, the word "no" can become a part of the scene - and not a signal to stop. Using a "safeword" gives both parties a clear way to signal an issue with no confusion. After you've discussed your safeword, you should take the time to fully flush out the parameters of the game. While this may not help much with physical safety concerns, it'll help with mental safety concerns. When everyone knows what to expect, they're less likely to come away disappointed. Talk about how you win the game, how you lose the game, and how points are earned within the game. If there are any "prizes" for winning, don't forget to negotiate and discuss what prizes should be awarded the winner of the BDSM games.   How do I find inspiration for BDSM games? If you're going to dream up your own BDSM games, you might be looking for inspiration. Maybe you already have a game idea in mind. Maybe you just want to see your partner do something - and you're looking for cute ways to gamify what you want to see. Either way, you can help use your local community for a lot of inspiration. Munches and other conversation-style meet-ups will provide you the chance to ask about their experiences and games. Otherwise, most people will be happy to bounce around ideas with you as well. You might be surprised by how creative other kinky people can be - and how they might help you see your ideas in a different light! You might also want to look online. Fetlife and kinky blogs might have some great suggestions and inspiration. Look for people who are posting fantasies and are posting recountings of scenes they've done in the past. Both of those will help you flush out various BDSM games ideas and might even give you ideas for things you hadn't thought of! Plus, if you're going to be regularly enjoying BDSM games, consider giving back to the community that inspired you- either through typing up your own games or commenting and encouraging others. Finally, using the term "predicament" or "kinky games" might help you find what you're looking for. There are a lot of predicament ties and ideas out there, and "kinky games" will also provide lots of game-focused ideas. What prizes can I use for BDSM games? Prizes for your BDSM games are entirely up to the participants in the game. Prizes can be physical or they can be an experience. You might choose to allow the winner to purchase something off their wishlist. Or you might choose to allow the winner to enjoy fantasy fulfillment. Either way, prizes work best when they're something immediate. For example, don't agree to allow someone to purchase an item that's outside of your budget and will require months of savings. Instead, as soon as the game is done, come together and purchase the item ASAP. If you're choosing to reward with an experience, schedule the winner's experience within a week when possible. It's too easy to allow the rewards to slide underneath the stresses of everyday life, and your BDSM games won't seem very realistic if the prizes and rewards never come to fruition. Alternatively, prizes can be set-up for only one party. For example, if the submissive happens to complete their challenge within a set amount of time, they'll receive the prize or experience. Nothing will happen if the submissive doesn't complete their challenge. Of course, you don't have to use any prizes either. If neither partner is motivated by a "prize", then don't worry about it. Are there pre-made board game BDSM games? Don't want to come up with your own games? You're in luck! Manufacturers are always happy to sell you an item to meet your needs, and in this case, multiple manufacturers have jumped onto the idea of crafting and selling BDSM games board games. The level of "kink" will vary between these board games, so make sure to read the description before purchasing. When possible, try to look up a review of the BDSM games before purchasing as well. You want to make sure that the level of kink matches up with your own needs. If the game you purchased considers a silk blindfold as the highest level of "kink", it might be an unsatisfying experience when you own full sets of handcuffs and blindfolds and play with them regularly. Most manufacturer-made BDSM games board games stay within the "medium intensity" of BDSM. If you're looking for a very kinky or very-specialized-fetish experience, you might want to craft your own BDSM games instead of looking for pre-made options. You might even consider crafting your own BDSM games board game. While it may never make it to wholesale production, you can use paper and cardboard at your house to write out the game you have in mind. You could even just use slips of paper folded into a mixing bowl as "cards of chance". If you're really into production value, there are lots of small printing companies that'll print your cards and board game ideas for you into a sturdy, lasting board game – bringing your design to life for the two of you! What are some beginner couple BDSM games? Let's start off with an easy playful game. This game involves the submissive performing "tasks of skill" for the dominant of the relationship. The dominant can choose what skills are being tested - and what the bar for "passing" will happen to be. This can include rolling a can across the floor, while crawling, with only use of the face. It could include standing on one leg and singing a nursery rhyme. It could even include a staring contest! To really enforce the kink dynamic, I recommend the dominant either sit back, enjoy the view, and bark orders or get involved with a riding crop and lightly "crop" the submissive when the performance isn't up to par. Heat up the BDSM games! Looking for something a bit more sexual? Consider something with a focus on masturbation. The two of you should lay out in a comfortable manner, facing one another. Each person will select a sex toy for the other person. You could choose to also provide a kinky toy for each of the people as well. Now, compete to see who can orgasm the fastest. Participants are allowed to encourage or distract each person as they see fit. Maybe the blindfold that she selected will work great for blindfolding herself to avoid the arousing sight of her partner. And maybe that riding crop she selected will work perfectly for getting him closer to the edge as he enjoys the sting of additional pain. If you want something even more service focused, you might consider blindfolding your submissive and asking them to do the tasks you'd normally expect from them before a service scene. This may include bringing their collar, cuffs, and leash to you. This may include undressing you without the ability to see. This may include selecting an outfit from the closet for themselves while they're without sight - and then judging them upon how well they do at crafting an outfit. The idea is that you're testing their ability to "perform" their usual tasks without sight. This is one of those BDSM games can be very fun and very good at getting someone into a submissive mindset! What about group BDSM games? Most coupled BDSM games can be easily modified to work for a group. Remember our earlier example about "tasks of skill"? All the s-types in the group can now be competing against each other in these tasks of skill. In fact, all of the D-types can come together to discuss what they'd like to test - and the skills that are tested will be a nice mixture of what all of the tops wanted to see. You might even consider some competitive games which will have submissives trying to steal 'items' from each other in order to come out the winner. The winner might get bragging rights! You can also use the above masturbatory example in a similar manner. All of the participants can sit around in a circle and enjoy the same "race to orgasm" that we talked about before. Or, for a different spin, all S-types will be sitting around in the circle - while the D-types are allowed to touch and manipulate their own submissives' body to help them reach the "finish line" first. You might stipulate that the D-types are not allowed to touch between the legs - or you might say that D-types are only allowed to touch their submissives with sex toys or other items and with no hand-to-body contact. always within the control of everyone playing!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Prostate Orgasms!

Most sexually curious men and women are interested in anal play, and more specifically how to stimulate the prostate for the most pleasure. Prostate orgasms and prostate play have not been truly explored until more recently. Sure, anal sex has been going on for thousands of years but documenting the process of stimulating the specific p-spot zone known for pleasure is relatively new to us. There is still a lot to learn about prostate play and we have only scratched the surface of its true capabilities to bring male pleasure. In this guide, we will explain everything about prostate play and prostate orgasms. Where the prostate is located, how to stimulate it, how to achieve orgasm from it and different positions to bring the most pleasure. This is an easy to follow guide that takes a lot of medical research and simplifies it for all to unlock the enormous pleasure the p-spot can provide. Prostate Orgasm 101: Prostate Location: The first and most important thing to achieve prostate orgasm and even prostate stimulation is of course locating exactly where the prostate is! Like the female g-spot the male p-spot is NOT located 8” in the body. The stereotype of needing a large penis to hit the g-spot or p-spot is scientifically false. The prostate gland is 3-4” from the beginning of the anal cavity. It’s about 1” across and is just behind the deepest portion of the penis. The gland runs across the urethra. The only way to directly stimulate the prostate is through the urethra (which is not for the faint of heart). The good news is through the anal cavity you can stimulate the prostate, not directly, but still can provide all the prostate stimulation you need. This is the most common way of stimulating the prostate and providing prostate orgasms. Prostate Function: The prostate has more function than just providing mind blowing prostate orgasms. The prostate gland’s main function is to secrete prostate fluid, which is one of the components of semen. It also helps propel this seminal fluid through the urethra during ejaculation. A lot of men say that prostate massages feel like the beginning of an orgasm. That is because during ejaculation the prostate squeezes to mix and propel the sperm and fluid out of the body. So just imagine that feeling of just before orgasm lasting for as long as you want. Now you know why prostate play and prostate orgasms are so popular among men! The Dark & Mysterious Prostate Orgasm! Anal sex has been around for thousands of years, but prostate stimulation and prostate orgasms are relatively new to us. Not to say they didn’t experiment with anal play back in the day, the actual process of stimulating the prostate to achieve orgasm hasn’t been documented or understood until modern science dove deeper. Naturally because it is new to us it’s considered this dark and mysterious act that only the taboo partake in. Which in reality… is quite sad! The pleasure of the prostate orgasm needs to be explored by all men! Here is the general process that men go through just before and during prostate orgasms. This is what men can expect after exploring prostate playmultiple times…usually most men are nervous and uncomfortable the first time. This is common, after a few times of anal play and prostate massaging you will get more comfortable with it to the point of experiencing a prostate orgasm! Prostate Orgasm Mindset: The first step in achieving a prostate orgasm is getting in the correct mindset. If this is your first-time diving into prostate play, the mindset play’s and even larger role in making it a pleasurable experience. You should start with a bowel movement an hour or longer before you get started. This will help purge your system. Then follow up with a warm shower and clean your butt with warm soap water. This will give you a sense of relief during anal play that your all clean and ready to go down there. It is extremely important when you crawl into bed that your comfortable and relaxed. This calm state of mind will help relax your entire body and help loosen your anal muscles to receive your finger, partners finger, anal sex toy, or a partner’s penis. Practice taking some deep inhales and exhaling slowly to help slow your heart beat. Turn some soft music on, light some great smelling candles, dim the lights… whatever helps you get relaxed and comfortable. Mind & Body Stimulation: The second step in achieving prostate orgasm is you or a partner must stimulate your prostate. This is where all the fun begins! Start shallow and slow to start. Use lots of lube, lube, and more lube! If I didn’t stress this enough… use lube! The anal cavity does not produce a natural lubricate like the vagina and requires lube for pleasure and prostate orgasm. Start with a small anal sex toy or a finger unless you’re experienced in anal play. Lube up your anus and finger… start by applying light pressure around your anus and then over the top of your anus. Pulse the pleasure with your finger and do this until your completely turned on. Either massage your penis with the other hand, watch porn or if your partner is involved have them stimulate you too. To receive anal pleasure being turned on beforehand is critical. Prostate Stimulation: Increase the pressure of your pulsating finger over your anus until you enter your anal cavity. Start shallow and when you feel comfortable progressively enter more and more of your finger. Fecal matter is stored much higher in your intestines so don’t worry about touching any waste, if you are really concerned you can wear a latex glove or use a condom over your finger. If this is your first anal play experience and you are using an anal sex toy, it may feel uncomfortable at first. If you experience any pain or bleeding make sure to stop immediately. You may feel slight discomfort when stretching over the bulb end, this is normal. Just proceed unless the pain is too much, you should pause and try again or stop all together. Once the large bulb end is in, it will feel much more comfortable and relaxed. Prostate Massage to Achieve Prostate Orgasm: Now that you have stimulated your mind and your anus, its time to stimulate your prostate. Work your finger or anal sex toy about 3-4 inches in your body. The prostate will feel similar in size and consistency to a walnut. It is facing towards your stomach and penis. Once you find it, gently start massaging it. Start with slow circular patterns or the “come here” motion. Start with light pressure and increase until your desired need. If you are preforming this on your partner, make sure to communicate to find the ideal speed and pressure. You can also try the contract and release method. This is where you flex and release your pelvic floor muscles also known as your PC muscles. These are the same muscles you start and stop the flow of urine with. In fact, you can practice training you PC muscles the next time you go to the bathroom to understand how to “flex” them. Then reenact this sensation during your next prostate massage to help achieve prostate orgasm. I suggest holding the flex for a few seconds and then slowly releasing. Why Flex your PC Muscles for Prostate Orgasm? When you flex your PC muscles the rectal wall muscles are slightly drawing the sex toy in and out, causing it to bump against the prostate gland. This is massaging your prostate hands free! The harder you contract the harder the bump will become. This is very good control over massaging your own prostate and it creates pleasure that builds towards prostate orgasm. Keep in mind that prostate orgasm is NOT the ultimate goal. Simply receiving pleasure through anal stimulation is the goal and can be extremely fun and pleasurable. If you receive a prostate orgasm on top this… it’s considered the cherry on top! If you are new to flexing your PC muscles, it will be difficult to keep going as those muscles are not trained yet for this activity. You will improve over time, same as you would training your arms, chest, or legs at the gym. Contractions Leading to Prostate Orgasm: The first sign you are heading towards a prostate orgasm is contractions. Stimulate the prostate until you are receiving minor PC muscle and sphincter contractions involuntarily. You’ll notice a slight sensation of fullness and warmth in the anus and surrounding pelvic area. Building up to Prostate Orgasm: The second sign you are heading towards prostate orgasm is the increasing tension around the area of your prostate gland. The contractions behind your pubic bone start to intensify and the warming sensation in your rectum grows. If you are starting to experience these sensations your preforming your prostate massage correctly. Continue to do this towards achieving your prostate orgasm. Concentrate on how you got to this point. The process, your mindset, the technique you used… This will make getting to this point much easier the next time around. Trembling to Your Prostate Orgasm: This is where it starts to get really good… As you start to transition from the increasing tension and warming sensation into a prostate orgasm your body may start to tremble involuntarily. It’s generally focused around the pelvic area. But if you’re lucky, you’ll experience it as a full body tremble. At this stage its important to continue stimulating your prostate in the same manor you had done to get here. It’s working well, so don’t change it up now! You’re getting closer to a prostate orgasm that will blow your mind. Any slight change of pressure or movement could cause you to lose it. For many men, this where the erection starts. But don’t focus on the penis, simply leave it alone. Stimulating this at the same time could distract focus away from the prostate orgasm and lose the momentum you have built. Just let the hard-on happen. It’s all apart of the experience. The Big Bang! (Prostate Orgasm): Now its time for the big bang, better known as a prostate orgasm! Most men report a prostate orgasm as being 33% more intense than a normal orgasm. After the buildup and trembling, this is where the PC muscles start the most intense stage of contractions and release. The feeling of fullness and warmth around your rectum will be at an all time high. Your penis may go soft, this is common it doesn’t matter since the prostate orgasm your about to experience is much more powerful than anything your penis can provide. The incredible p-wave will radiate throughout the mid-section of your body. The best part of a prostate orgasm is there is no refectory period. You don’t have to stop and wait to recover like a normal orgasm. Keep going for as long as you feel comfortable. The sensation will overwhelm your entire body with complete ecstasy! Recommended Anal Sex Toys: PFUN Plug One of the best anal sex toys to train your p-spot is the Pfun Plug by Njoy. It is shaped specifically to hit the p-spot and the size is reasonable for any beginner to intermediate level person. It is 100% stainless steel so it is very easy to clean up after anal play, and has a large flared base to prevent you from “losing it” inside your rectum.   Bruno: Want a soft silicone butt plug designed specifically for anal stimulation? This is an amazing anal sex toy from Lelo called “Bruno”. It is waterproof, rechargeable, and provides and intense vibration to stimulate the P-spot beyond belief. Bootie Ring: Looking for a different way to mix up your prostate orgasm and anal play? This is a bootie ring that is similar to a butt plug but branches forward as cockring too! Once you get the butt plug in, wrap the ring around your penis. Then when you masturbate or have penetrative sex, with each thrust the ring pulls on the plug which stimulates your prostate. It is an incredible sensation like nothing else!

Blog – by Diskret Life

14 tips to enhance your intimacy!

Intimacy is an essential part of any healthy and fulfilling relationship. It goes beyond just physical attraction and involves emotional, mental, and spiritual connections between partners. However, with the demands of everyday life, it can be challenging to maintain intimacy and keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship. In this article, we'll explore some practical tips and strategies that can help you enhance intimacy with your partner and deepen your connection on multiple levels. Whether you're looking to rekindle the passion in your relationship or simply strengthen your bond with your partner, these tips can help you create a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship. 1. Communicate: Talk to your partner about what you like and what you don't like. Communication is key to having great sex and building intimacy. 2. Focus on foreplay: Spend more time on foreplay, such as kissing, touching, and oral sex, to build sexual tension and increase intimacy. 3. Try new things: Experiment with different positions, locations, and sex toys to keep things fresh and exciting. 4. Take your time: Don't rush through sex. Take your time to explore each other's bodies and enjoy the experience. 5. Build anticipation: Send flirty texts or leave little notes for your partner throughout the day to build anticipation and excitement for when you're together. 6. Use all your senses: Engage all of your senses during sex, such as touching, kissing, smelling, and tasting, to create a more intense and intimate experience. 7. Practice mindfulness: Focus on the present moment and connect with your partner on a deeper level by being fully present during sex. 8. Show appreciation: Let your partner know how much you appreciate them and how much you enjoy being intimate with them. Expressing gratitude can help build intimacy and strengthen your relationship. 9. Prioritize intimacy: Make time for intimacy and prioritize it in your relationship. Set aside time for sex and make it a priority, just like you would with other important activities in your life. 10. Explore each other's fantasies: Talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and explore them together. This can be a fun and exciting way to build intimacy and strengthen your connection. 11. Take care of yourself: Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can help improve your sex life and enhance intimacy in your relationship. This includes getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and managing stress. 12. Be open-minded: Be open to trying new things and exploring different aspects of your sexuality. This can help you and your partner discover new things you enjoy and deepen your connection. 13. Focus on pleasure, not just orgasm: While orgasm is great, focusing solely on achieving it can put pressure on you and your partner. Instead, focus on pleasure and enjoying the journey, rather than just the destination. 14. Show vulnerability: Being vulnerable with your partner can help build trust and deepen your connection. Share your fears, insecurities, and desires with your partner and encourage them to do the same. Remember, the most important thing is to be open, honest, and communicative with your partner. With patience, curiosity, and a willingness to try new things, you can enhance intimacy and strengthen your relationship. Every couple is different, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to be open and honest with your partner and to keep exploring and experimenting until you find what works best for you both. ....While you are here, why don't check out some of our intimacy devices?

Blog – by Diskret Life

Feminist Porn!

Men are not the only gender to masturbate, use sex toys, and of course WATCH PORN. Even though the porn scene has been dominated by the male customer, it doesn’t mean women don’t enjoying watching it too! So where is the feminist porn at?! Most of the mainstream porn sites are hardcore, fake, and downright cheesy. Most porn videos are low quality, have zero foreplay, and involve a man dominating a woman… The good news for women is that the times are changing. I believe “some” porn directors have noticed a shift in women becoming customers as well. So feminist porn is starting to become more popular. When I say “more popular”, I mean a few high quality websites or perhaps a category on a mainstream website. This guide was built for a quick reference to explain what feminist porn is, where the highest quality sites are to find it, and exactly how you should enjoy them.   What is Feminist Porn? The real question is what is feminist porn, and can porn even be geared towards women? This is a popular question among our customers, let us be the first to tell you, feminist porn is absolutely a real thing! If you’re a man or women with a specific fetish, chances are there are hundreds of videos on it. But what about the women who want a softcore porn experience? Turns out 50% of couples watch porn together, the chances are you don’t want to watch hardcore female domination as your first videos together or perhaps never at all. That’s where feminist porn comes into play. Feminist Porn Myths: There is a common misconception that feminist porn is strictly long foreplay scenes, where the couple gazes into each other’s eyes, and makes out for 20 minutes before slowly stripping each other’s clothes off. While you can find a lot of feminist porn like this if that’s your thing, it is not the only feminist porn style out there. Feminist porn can be more hardcore in nature, but the big difference is this: Everyone in the porn scene is tested properly. The performers are not pressured into any scenes they don’t want to do. The performers “safe words” are respected on set. The director is concerned for their performer’s well being vs. just turning the largest profit possible. Like purchasing a blood diamond vs. a certified clean diamond when you watch feminist porn you are supporting the actors and actress’s well-being both on and off scene. This does tend to make feminist porn less “harsh” in nature, and more enjoyable for couples to watch. How do I know It Is Feminist Porn? Even if you have been watching porn for years, being able to tell “feminist porn” from “regular porn” is no small feat. Especially for people new to porn.It’s a tall order to understand and support the feminist porn movement. I hate to say it, but if it’s free porn it most likely is not feminist porn. If you find free feminist porn, it was most likely stolen from a real feminist porn site. Turns out, most ethically made feminist porn you find on major sites has been stole, so none of the benefits you get from watching it actually support the sex workers. If you want to help change the industry you will need to invest a little. A slight investment for the amount of continued pleasure you can enjoy is well worth it. Same goes for investing in a quality sex toy! Introducing Your Partner to Feminist Porn: We get this question all the time… How do I introduce watching porn with my partner? Just so happens feminist porn is a great place to start! You won’t have to watch any uncomfortable hardcore porn where misogyny, sexism, and abuse happen. Here are a few tips to ease your partner into it: Bring up the topic of feminist porn in light conversation: The next time your talk about your sex life such as, sex positions you like, places you enjoy doing it, or the sex toys you enjoy most… bring up feminist porn. Tell them about a video you saw or article you read explaining it, then suggest the idea to them. Find out if they would be interested in exploring it with you. Ensure they are the focus not the feminist porn: The idea of watching feminist porn together is for the excitement and coming turned on initially. Use it as foreplay to start but it should not become the sole focus while you’re enjoying penetrative sex. Ensure your partner of this and have it on in the background while your main attention is always on your partner. Agree on what type of feminist porn you will watch: Make sure you pick something you both find to be a major turn on. This just involves communication and perhaps starting a few videos that you stop part way through in order to try something else. After a couple rounds of this you will know what each other like and compromise on the best videos possible. The Best Feminist Porn (Each site title is a link...NSFW): Here is a list of the highest quality, best feminist porn on the market. These are not only rated the highest by thousands of people, testimonies have shown these are a great starting place for diving into feminist porn with a partner. Frolicme: If you want the best feminist porn… start here. It has high quality HD erotic films, stories, and galleries with serious production value. The site is based on fantasy, trysts, sensuality, and light bondage. (1 week trial is $7.00) For The Girls: The title says it all! This was one of the original feminist porn sites. The site was built by 2 women and tailored to their specific content that they find most enjoyable. Its most common to find straight female porn on here. It starts with soft solo scenes all the way to light kink. ($45 for 3 months) Crash Pad Series: The Crash Pad Series is based on a queer porn cult classic. Here is the basic run down: you need a key to enter the crash pad, once you’ve used your key 7 times, you must leave. It’s essentially a reality TV show… as LGBTQ feminist porn. ($10 a month) Lust Cinema: This is the most common feminist porn site. It was founded by Erica Lust who was featured in the popular Netflix series “Hot Girls Wanted”. All the titles make the feminine perspective understood, and innovation are highly encouraged. It has various categories of vintage, modern feminist porn, romance, tutorials, and kink. ($16 per month for 6 months) Bright Desire: This is indie feminist porn at it’s best. It has a focus on real bodies and realistic sex scenes. It has lots of laughter, intimacy, and down to earth fun hot sexy scenes. This feminist porn will even interview the performers after to see a behind the scenes look at how it was made! ($40.00 for 3 months) X Confessions: This site is a little different than most feminist porn sites. People send in their erotic fantasies, and Erika Lust (who we spoke of earlier) will turn them into artfully made feminist porn films. Chances are if someone else had a serious fantasy, you might find it erotic and hot as well. The actors are real, and the collection of films are honest and down to earth. Hot Movies For Her: Hot movies for her has one of the largest collections of feminist porn available. You can try it out with 20 mins for free if you wish. They have everything from hot solo senses up to hardcore kink. ($45.00 for 3 months) Smart Ass Production: Tristan Taormino is an author, writer, sex educator, radio host and feminist pornographer. Smart Ass Productions is her adult film company. She knows most people who watch porn are sick of the fake loud screams and corny “plumber scenes” that fill the wide spread porn world. She wants to make something different, something unique, that everyone can relate to. Her films are special and treat actors with complete respect. Diskret Adult Life: While we are not a feminist porn site, we offer high class sex toys that are made to last! Our sex toys will bring intense pleasure while you enjoy your feminist porn. Remember they are great to use with a partner as well! Best Way to Enjoy Feminist Porn:               So now that you know the top feminist porn sites in the industry… what’s the best way to watch them? While everyone is different and enjoys porn their own way, we have a couple tips to really enhance the experience. Set the mood: It might seem “cheese” to prepare the atmosphere before watching porn, but it can make all the difference in the world! Make sure you have your privacy and are completely comfortable. It will give you an “ease of mind” knowing the doors are locked, window curtains drawn. Dim the lights and even light some candles as the smell will help your body fully relax. Relaxation is the key to enjoying the film and the pleasure it will bring! Have plenty of time: This relates to setting the mood and being able to relax… but make sure you have time! A quickie has its time and place, but if you want a long pleasurable experience, take the time to set the details first, then don’t proceed to rush into the pleasure. Enjoy the film, touch yourself or your partner as the film progresses. Depending on the length, watch it all the way to the end or start going at it part way through. But the longer you can hold off and get turned on, the better the sex or masturbation will be! Bring the lube! Make sure you have plenty of lube, the feminist films can be fairly long in length. To avoid her from drying up part way thorough or to keep the masturbation wet and pleasurable we suggest lube. The two main types of lube are water-based, which will clean of sheets and clothing but won’t last as long, so you may need to re-apply a few times throughout your session. The second type is oil-based lube, which will last for as long as you require. However, oil-based lube might stain your sheets so make sure to put a towel down first. Enjoy with your partner: Some wish to enjoy feminist porn alone for a great solo masturbation session… however, introducing a partner can add a whole new level of pleasure to the experience. Bring it up to them using the tips shown above, let the pleasure from all senses overwhelm both you! Bring the sex toy! With a partner or solo, a quality sex toy is almost a must. It will bring pleasure in many different forms weather it be a dildo, vibrator, or cockring. These can be used on your partner while they watch the feminist porn or on yourself while you watch. Make sure to bring the lube and expect zero faked orgasms from the porn and your partner!!  

Blog – by Diskret Life

Beginner Sex Toys!

There's literally no reason that anyone "has" to use sex toys. However, an entire booming industry exists, so clearly, sex toys must be doing something right! If you're looking for new sensations, want some pleasurable ways to add to solo play, or just want to experience pleasures that are impossible without the help of sex toys, it's time to turn to these masturbatory aids. Not only do sex toys offer no-fuss sex on demand, but in many cases, they can provide textures, experiences, and pleasures that are impossible to achieve with the human body alone. That alone can be worth giving them a try! Most people start off with beginner sex toys. Designed to be easy to use, beginner sex toys are affordable and let you start to figure out what you enjoy in a sex toy. Not only that, but they give you a non-threatening way to change up your sex life - no pressure necessary! Since you haven't sunk much money into your new toy, you don't have to feel like you have to “love it”. It's a perfect way to bring something new into your sex life. Beginner Sex Toys: What Vagina-centered Toys are Out There? Vagina-centered beginner sex toys tend to fall into two types of stimulation: there are toys designed for external stimulation (such as the clitoris), and there are toys designed for penetration and internal stimulation (such as the g-spot and the vagina). Neither type of beginner sex toy is better than the other, and depending on what stimulation you enjoy during your current sex sessions, you might prefer one type of beginner sex toy over the other. Part of the fun with beginner sex toys is starting to experiment with new sensations, though, so don't forget about branching out and trying new things sometimes! First off, we have the vibrator beginner sex toys. Vibrators are most-often designed for external, clitoral use. These sex toys are packed with strong moving parts that, when turned on, cause your sex toy to "shake". This pleasurable shaking motion can be really, really enjoyable on the clitoris - and on other sensitive areas of the body! Many vibrator sex toys are made from hard plastic - and designed for external use - but some vibrators are made from softer materials that can be pleasurable for penetration as well. Vibrators are one of the most well-populated categories of beginner sex toys - all the way from tiny, 2" long vibrators designed for discreet play all the way up to 13" wand massagers designed to be the strongest vibrators you've ever felt. Picking a good vibrator is a personal decision - and one that might include a bit of research and review reading.   We can't forget about the dildo beginner sex toys: These are sex toys specifically designed for penetration. Most dildos don't vibrate - but a select few may be equipped with vibrations. To keep costs low, a lot of manufacturers make their beginner dildos out of questionable materials. As we'll mention below, choosing a quality sex toy material is an important step when picking up beginner sex toys, so be on the lookout during your beginner sex toys search. Go to a trusted retailer. As a specialized category of beginner sex toys, a g-spot dildo is a dildo crafted for hitting the g-spot. This is a very-sensitive spot located inside of the vagina. Some people report very intense sensations of pleasure when this spot is rubbed - especially with a good amount of pressure. If that describes you, you might enjoy beginner sex toys like g-spot dildos. G-spot dildos are equipped with a curved shaft that makes them more effective at hitting the g-spot when compared to their straight-shaft counterparts. Designed to bring together the "best of both worlds", the rabbit vibrator type of beginner sex toys pleasures both internally and externally at the same time. A rabbit vibrator is a vibrating dildo that's also equipped with a small attachment. This attachment rests on the clitoris anytime the dildo is inserted. For even more fun, this attachment is usually equipped with vibrations that add even more pleasure! Depending on the beginner sex toy, you may be able to control the dildo's power level and the vibrator's power level individually. Rabbit vibrators can be amazingly fun beginner sex toys, but they're definitely a gamble. Since each sex toy is designed for a specific anatomy, you might find that some rabbit vibrators fit you like a glove - and some may miss your pleasure spots entirely. Finding a great rabbit vibrator is definitely an exercise in patience, but in can pay out in pleasure if you get the right one!   Beginner Sex Toys: What Penis-centered Toys are Out There? While not as plentiful or creative as many of the vagina-centered toys, there are still quite a few very pleasurable penis-centered toys designed as beginner sex toys. The most important - and most common! - is the male masturbation sleeve. This cylindrical sex toy has a empty chamber through the middle of it. Once lubricated, the penis can be slipped into the chamber for pleasurable penetrative sensation. Most chambers are very nicely textured and can add quite a bit of stimulation compared to the usual hand. Some male masturbation sleeves are close-ended (which can add to the suction-sensation and may be more pleasurable but will be harder for clean-up) while other male masturbation sleeves are open-ended (which can accommodate larger penis sizes and may be easier to clean). In order to accommodate the stretching that makes them pleasurable, many male masturbation sleeves are made from less-durable materials. Expect to replace most male masturbation sleeves semi-regularly - which is why so many of them are very affordable! In addition to male masturbation sleeves, there are quite a few sex doll beginner sex toys. However, keep in mind that most low-end sex dolls are just designed for giggles. In many cases, the harsh plastic seam necessary to craft the doll will run through the penetration hole - which will hurt when you try to use it! Unless the sex doll comes with a removable male masturbation sleeve that can be slipped inside of the doll, you'll likely find that sex doll beginner sex toys aren't usually a good pick. Beginner Sex Toys: Vibrators On Your Shaft?! You may not have considered it before, but did you know that vibrators can be just as pleasurable on the penis? If you'd like to try a different sensation, don't forget that vibrating beginner sex toys can be a fantastic sensation on the penis as well! A penis tends to respond best to strong vibrations, so look for vibrators powered by more powerful batteries or better yet: consider a wand vibrator! While we're on the topic of vibrators, let's not leave out the fun of a cock ring. These rings, which are designed to go around the base of the penis, can help restrict blood flow to the penis - leading to more sensitivity and a harder erection. Some of these cock rings are even equipped with a small vibrator! As most cock rings are very affordable, they can make fantastic beginner sex toys. Beginner Sex Toys: What Butt-Centered Toys are Out There? Ahh, the great equalizer: almost everyone out there has a butt that can be played with. Whether you're personally into it or not is another story, but most people can successfully experiment with anal play if they're interested in it. Luckily for everyone who's into it, manufacturers are happy to help you enjoy the pleasures of anal stimulation. There are hundreds of anal beginner sex toys out there. Anal toys tend to fall into some pretty simple categories: butt plugs, anal beads, and anal dildos. Beginner Sex Toys: Butt Plugs First off, there are butt plug beginner sex toys. These are penetration-focused toys that are designed to slip into the butt - and then stay there. Butt plugs usually have a design that's specifically crafted to help the rings of the anal muscles "grip" onto the plug and prevent it from easily sliding out. Butt plugs are "set it and leave it alone" types of toys. Beginner Sex Toys: Anal Beads However, you could choose to go with anal beads beginner sex toys. These strings of beads are designed to be slipped into the butt - one bead at a time. For those that enjoy the sensation of the anal muscles stretching during penetration, anal beads can be an amazing choice. The beads can be pulled in and out as desired, or they can be inserted and left alone until the point of orgasm - when slipping the beads out will add even more stimulation to the climax! Learn everything on anal beads here. Beginner Sex Toys: Anal Dildo Don't forget about anal dildo beginner sex toys. Much like regular dildos, anal dildos are crafted to be slipped in and out of the butt - at a regular pace - for pleasurable stimulation. Unlike regular dildos, anal dildos will come equipped with a flared base which prevents the dildo from easily slipping all the way into the body. Some anal dildos come equipped with suction cup bases which allows you to use the dildos entirely hands-free.   Beginner Sex Toys: How Much Should I Spend on my First Sex Toy? How much you spend on your first sex toy is really an individual decision, but a few things should play into your decision. First off, you should think about what your budget is. Some people have tighter budgets which means they may not be able to spend more than $40, and some people might be able to go up to $100 for their first sex toy. If you have a "dream" sex toy that's outside of your current budget, it might be worth saving up to get that toy instead of a toy you might not love. However, when purchasing your first sex toy, at least keep materials and safety in mind. You should aim for sex toys that are stated to be "phthalate-free". This will likely drop out all non-plastic toys in the $20 to $30 arena. Phthalates are a banned substance in children's toys and other not-sex industries, and it's just the fact that sex toys are an unregulated industry that lets them continue in adult items! Protect your body before everything else. Beginner Sex Toy Safety In addition, if you plan on sharing your sex toy with any other person (who isn't fluid-bonded to you), you might consider spending the extra cash to upgrade to a non-porous and sterilizable material like glass or silicone. It's definitely more pricey, but again, when it comes to your personal safety, you shouldn't attempt to cut corners. Once you've settled on your budget though, the other thing to consider about beginner sex toys is their durability. While it's hard to preach purchasing something of throw-away quality, you likely don't want to purchase the most expensive, top-of-the-line vibrator for your first sex toy either. Beginner sex toys are designed for learning what you like. Do you enjoy buzzy vibrations? A close-ended or open-ended masturbation sleeve? You won't know until you try! If you buy the best options of your trial sex toys, you'll end up spending hundreds just to try to find out what works for you. Instead, buying lots of less-durable (but still pleasurable!) options through beginner sex toys will allow you to figure out what types of sex toys you enjoy. In the future, as you finalize your opinions, you can invest in better-quality toys that are going to last years upon years!  

Blog – by Diskret Life

Lesbian Sex Toys!

Being in a same sex relationship can make it difficult to shop for sex toys. Not only is it difficult due to the stigma, but going into a sex store where at times no one is willing to aid you on this incredible journey can be extremely stressful. Ladies, this article is for you; sorry gentleman, I will compose one for you soon. There are a lot of options that you can choose, but not many of them are actually worth the price you'd pay. Worse, some of them are not even as lesbian-friendly as you'd hope them to be. Lesbian sex is intended to inspire and entice lovers to broaden their sexual repertoire. To make shopping easier for you and your lover, I made a list of the best sex toys for lesbian couples with some incredibly erotic position tips.   We-Vibe Sync: The Facts: Rechargeable, pure silicone, dual motor, remote control and app ready, waterproof . Pro’s: The majority of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. Ladies, if you are using a strap-on the We-Vibe Sync is a delicious addition to your love making, as it offers clitoral stimulation. It’s a simple and luxurious toy with every speed you can think of, and ladies, if you find a vibration pattern that you love the sync can keep this rhythm in an ongoing loop. Recommended Position:Classic Scissor-Achieves maximum pussy contact with both women propped up on their hands and elbows. The bottom lover twisting onto her side with her leg draped over her lover’s same leg. The women spread, slide in, and rotate and grind, usually in a circular rhythm, intermittently pressing into each other, clit to clit, vagina to vagina.   Satisfyer Beads The Facts: Soft and graduated shape, beginner friendly Pros: The beads are flexible, and each bead is a different size for added pleasure. The beads vary in size from small to large, making it easier for beginners to relax and enjoy the exquisite sensation of each bead. Recommended Position: Review Mirror- The partner receiving oral sex is bent over at the waist, her hands on her ankles, and her legs shoulder-width apart. Her partner is on her knees behind the standing woman, holding the standing woman’s hips with her hands, with her face near her vulva from the rear. This the perfect position to place the anal beads in the anus. The kneeling partner may want to place a pillow under her knees if it’s more comfortable.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Strap on Pegging!

Everyone has heard whispers of pegging among friends, but what exactly is it? You might recall some mainstream movies and documentaries that have brief pegging scene’s such as Deadpool, Broad City, Marco Polo, or Weeds. It has become a topic of discussion lately and for good reason! In this article we have pulled together some great resources and testimonies of actual men and women who participate in pegging. We explain everything you need to know about anal play and pegging. Then we will share with you why these men and women love or hate pegging so much, and how to participate in it yourself. Pegging is not an easy thing to jump right into especially for beginners, so we will guide you through all the necessary steps to participate in pegging a safe and pleasurable way. What is Pegging: Being in the sex toy industry we get asked a lot of the same questions from our customers, one of those being “what is pegging”. The actual word “pegging” is a fairly new word that was coined originally from Dan Savage “Savage Love” sex column that appears weekly in several dozen newspapers throughout the US. Pegging is the sexual act of a female using a strap on to penetrate her mans anus. The fact that the word “pegging” is new, does not mean people weren’t engaging in the act. Individuals were preforming pegging in porn scenes as early as 1970. It has become increasingly more popular throughout the last decade, so much it got coined the name and started appearing in a lot of modern documentaries and films. Anal Play 101: Before we get into all the sexy details of pegging, here is a brief overview of more popular anal play and how it can lead into pegging. If you have never engaged in pegging, you may want to start with something a little more basic in the anal play category, but that should always be communicated with your partner first. Anal sex: It sounds silly, but if the guy enjoys having anal sex with his woman, he might be up for giving it a try himself. If you’re already engaging in anal sex with your partner, it will be an easier transition into the pegging community. It means your man isn’t afraid of anal play, and neither are you. Try hinting to your partner that you may want to reverse roles.   Butt Plugs Butt plugs are a great way to ease yourself into the anal play community. Start with a small plug and lots of lube, but you can read everything you need to know on butt plugs here. If your man loves butt plugs, chances are he may want to try a dildo. If he is up for a dildo, then nothing is sexier than you wearing that dildo during the act. Check out a strap on dildo that will pleasure you, at the same time your penetrating him. Anal Beads Much like butt plugs, anal beads are great for beginners easing into the anal play world. Why is this? Because almost all anal beads start with a small bead on one end and gradually work their way up in size. This means you can start super small and work your way up in each size, slowly stretching the anus. This makes taking on a dildo much less daunting and you can go at your own pace.  Once you or your partner feel comfortable with the larger beads and enjoy the pleasure they bring, you might be more open to pegging. Anal Lube This one might go without saying, but anal lube is extremely important. Not just with pegging but with all anal play acts, male or female. The anus on both men and women do not produce a natural lubrication, this is why it’s extremely important to use loads of lube while preforming any anal play. We suggest a natural water-based lube, these will not react or break down silicone sex toys or latex condoms. They are also less likely to react with sensitive skin. Just remember they don’t last long in the water environment. If you plan on pegging or any anal play in the tub or shower, use an oil-based lube that will last longer. However, you can’t use oil-based lubes with condoms. Pegging for Beginners: If you are new to pegging, it all starts with communication. When we asked women who have engaged in pegging before; who brought up the idea of pegging first, you or him? It was brought up by the male 67% of the time. Now that doesn’t mean the woman shouldn’t be forth coming on her idea, a lot of men may not have ever entertained the idea or are too shy to bring it up. If the man enjoys anal play with butt plugs or anal beads, it should be an easy transition into asking if he is up for even more. But I would not surprise him with a strap on one day, it may be a bit overwhelming at first. The key to pegging is mostly in the preparation. He should use the bathroom and shower before anal play to keep things extra clean. This will give him peace of mind and feel more relaxed. Make sure the man is calm and very turned on to start. Foreplay is key here! Once the man is extremely turned on, start with lubing your finger and inserting it in his anus. You can use a smaller butt plug or anal bead in substitute of your finger if you wish. This will help loosen him up. It will get lube in and around his anus plus starting small will associate the anus with pleasure before stretching it out with something larger like a strap on dildo. Tools for Pegging: For every job, tools are an important part of the game. Here at Diskret, we never try to sell products we don’t believe in. We have been a part of this industry for a long time and simply are recommending what we found to work best. With that we give you the link to where we found it cheapest. By no means do you have to stick with what we recommend in order to engage in pegging. Oil-based Anal Lube: The first thing you need is a great lube. If you plan on pegging in a water environment, you should start with an oil-based lube. These last long in the water, or in the bed. A great lube is coconut oil and it might already be readily available in your kitchen. Another great lube for anal sex is the oil-based coco lube. Water-based Anal Lube: If you know you won’t be in a water environment, we suggest starting with a water-based lube. These are less sensitive on the skin and work great with all anal sex toys. A more natural water-based lube we love for anal play can be found here. Strap-On For Pegging: The next thing you will need is a strap on dildo! You can’t engage in pegging without one. So, what’s our favorite strap on dildo for pegging?! There is no strap on dildo made specifically for pegging. A strap on is a strap on so if it is advertised for lesbians, it really doesn’t matter. We highly recommend Wet For Her hands free harnesses and dildos. They make a great strap on that feels more like spandex underwear than the uncomfortable straps and belts that can dig into your hips and side. The “hands free” also allows you to slide a dildo into the spandex underwear. If this is your first time pegging, you will have some difficulty knowing where the dildo is and where it is in relation to his anus. Most likely you will need to use your hands, and that’s okay. Use your hands to find his anus and the tip of the dildo, then slowly guide the tip in. Most of the single dildos by “wet for her” have vibrating nub on the other end of the dildo to please you while you peg him! They also make double dildos. These double dildos will give you a little more control since you have short dildo in you, and that is connected to a longer dildo that can be inserted in him. Once you use this style enough times, you will have a great feel for where the extended dildo is just by the feel of the shorter one in yourself. Not to mention, while pegging him, it will give you intense pleasure as well! Anal Sex Toy: If you are not planning on using your finger to warm him up first, you might want to consider an anal sex toy. Something small for him, just to start associating the anal play with pleasure before starting to peg him. We highly recommend the smaller P-fun plug by Njoy. It is made to stimulate the prostate and is 100% stainless-steel. This makes it extremely easy to clean. Another anal sex toy to consider warming him up with is an anal bead that starts small and works its way up in size. Something like the Femme Fun which is made for men, and vibrates will really get him going. Anal Play PPE: Make sure you have the personal protective equipment for anal play. If you prefer to use gloves before inserting a finger in his anus, then get some latex surgical gloves, they will still require proper lubrication before entering. Another thing to consider is laying a towel down before pegging. The oil-based lube can stain the sheets and your clothing. How to Peg Your Partner: Here are the main things to consider before pegging your partner: Pegging Communication: Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Pegging can bring a ton of intense pleasure if communicated properly. Make sure to communicate if you are in pain or something is uncomfortable. Also, don’t surprise peg him, both should know exactly what is going on and at what pace the dildo will be thrusted at. Pegging with a height Difference: This might sound silly, but after talking with men and women who engage in pegging one of the main struggles were if there was a big height difference. It can be difficult for women to find the correct angle for penetration and thrusting. If you have a large height difference with your partner, one technique explained to work well was having him lay on his side. With his knees bent, and her kneeling with the front of her thighs against the back of his thighs should work really well. Knowing How to Work Your New Limb During Pegging: For women, this is like adding a new leg however one you have never used, and can’t feel anything with. It might seem clumsy and difficult at first. Don’t let it distract you, understand it will feel a little silly at first. Just take your time, have fun with it and use your hands to guide it everywhere to start. Once you have full penetration and get a rhythm going you can remove your hand(s) and let your hips do the work.   Is Pegging to Please Men or Women? Most might automatically assume the pegging is to please the man and is just a lot of work for the women. According to our study this is completely false. To majority of women this was an extreme turn on. “It was fun swapping roles and giving him pleasure. The same way a blow job or hand job turns me on.” Not to mention if you were to use a double dildo or a dildo that vibrated on your clit it could bring you extreme pleasure and even bring you to orgasm with him. One of the women put it best “Every time I hit his P-spot I could feel all his muscles squeezing around me. It was really intimate and sexy.” A lot of men get hung up on sexual identity and can’t get past the fact of anal penetrative sex is not a “manly” thing or something. However, men like this will never get to experience the real pleasure that anal play can bring. It is said a P-spot orgasm for men is 33% more intense than a normal orgasm. In the end, the most important part is you communicate and use lots of lube. Have fun with it, you won’t be experts the first go around. If it feels uncomfortable just swap up positions and keep going. Most of the men and women who engage in pegging do not incorporate it as a regular sex act but something special here and there to change things up. Most women loved to be the penetrator for once and got great pleasure out of it! Have fun pegging and make sure to contact us about your pegging experience for a discount at Diskret! Remember to sign up for the Diskret newsletter from the bottom of our homepage. This will give you 15% off your entire first order. It will keep you up to date on all the latest deals, flash sales, and content filled free blogs such as this one!

Blog – by Diskret Life

How To Use A Penis Sleeve!

A penis sleeve can mean a lot of different things. Whenever talking to fellow sexologist, it becomes frustrating and confusing what exactly a penis sleeve is? You most likely have an idea in your head what you think a penis sleeve is, how it should be worn, and how to use it. But did you ever think of these types of penis sleeves or versions of them too? Cock sleeves Penis extensions Penis Girth Sleeves Male Masturbators Penis extenders Masturbation Sleeves Thick Penis Sleeves Vibrating Penis Sleeves Realistic Penis Sleeves Silicone Penis Sleeves You can’t be serious right now… What the hell are all those and why do I need to know about them? I decided to dig deep and research every kind of penis toy there was… (That probably doesn’t sound fun to you, but that’s why I’m here) Ill break it down in a simple easy guide so you know what your looking for and where to find it. I will also explain how to use these versions of penis sleeves and the best ones to try. So, hold tight, we’re diving tip first and ending balls deep on all thing’s penis enhancing and stimulating! What is a penis sleeve? To be very clear, while a penis sleeve can look like a lot of different things. Most common penis sleeves hold these traits: Penis sleeves usually do not bring the user pleasure or additional stimulation. Penis sleeves are not used for masturbation. They are typically worn during couples sex (specifically for penetration). Penis sleeves can artificially add length or girth to a man instantly. They make the user last longer before climax. They can be made from a large variety of material Some penis sleeves completely encompass the penis while others do not. Penis sleeves are typically worn after the male is erect. Hopefully this starts to paint a clearer picture on what exactly a penis sleeve is.   There are still a lot of different variations that we will start to cover below. Along with exactly how to use a penis sleeve and why you should try it! Should I try a Penis Sleeve?   Yeah... Ohhh Yeah!! Straight or Gay, men of all sexual orientation are starting to learn the true joys of a penis sleeve. While a lot of guys still resort to pills, or penis extenders (a medieval torture device) to get a larger penis, there are other options! A penis sleeve could satisfy your partner like never before. Pills typically help get you erect, but they don’t make you longer or girthier (especially not like advertised). Penis extenders are what I believe to be medieval torture devices! Don’t believe me? You literally have to put your cock and balls into a clamping device and crank it open while it stretches your penis!! Com’on you can’t be serious guys! There has to be a better way… Well there is, it’s called the penis sleeve and its here to save the day! I’m talking instant results for girth, length, and make you last longer in bed while completely rocking your partners world. Give them the hardest, deepest, most satisfying night of their lives! How Does A Cock Sleeve Work?  Before we dive into how to use a penis sleeve, lets cover how exactly a penis sleeve works. The same as a cock sleeve, you will place only your cock or both your cock and balls into a sleeve. Like a condom, it will encompass your entire cock. Sometimes a ring around the base of the cock sleeve can provide both constriction to your balls and hold the cock sleeve in place. Its always nice to have a slight tug on your balls while thrusting away! The constriction on your balls and cock will keep you rock hard for a longer period of time. Same concept as a cock ring does.   Some cock sleeves have a textured inside or textured outside. Inside obviously provides the user a slight amount of stimulation, and the outside is for the individual being penetrated. Most cock sleeves are made from silicone for the simple “growth factor”. It’s hard to know your true size when constriction is applied, and you will grow and shrink throughout your penetrative sex. To solve this, most cock sleeves are made from extremely flexible silicone or Thermo Plastic Elastomers (TPE). These cock sleeves will adapt as you grow and shrink to help provide a complete seal. How to use a penis sleeve? The easiest way to put a penis sleeve on is through a lot of lube and patience. Here are a couple pro tips to make it much easier: Lube the inside of your penis sleeve, and your cock to start (don’t lube the outside of the sheath yet.) Once your penis is in the sleeve, then worry about stretching the silicone ring around your balls. The ring will expand around your balls, don’t try jamming your balls through the ring! If you don’t “groom yourself” it can catch pubic hair quiet easily. A quick trim beforehand will help. Some penis sleeves do not have an opening in the tip. This can cause a “ballooning” effect and trap air in the tip. Use a small knife and put a hole in the tip to allow trapped air to release (obviously do this when the penis sleeve is off!!!) A penis sleeve is not a means of birth control. When first penetrating your partner, use lots of lube on the outside of the cock sleeve and take things mighty slow. You’ve just added length and girth to yourself so your partner might not be used to it! Use basic communication to see if your partner wants it faster, slower, harder or softer. Keep these tips in mind for the best night of her life! I Just Blew My Partners Mind… Now What?   It’s the unfortunate reality of a cock sleeve; the guy wearing it just doesn’t feel huge amounts of stimulation. Why not? Due to the thickness of the sleeve, you simply don’t feel much… Even the stimulating nubs or ribs on the inside do little for me. I’m here to tell you… SO WHAT?! You knew that when you slapped it on. I hate to say it but using a cock sleeve really isn’t all about you. This is what it’s all about: Giving your partner the best dick of their lives! Having fun, experimenting, and trying something new with your partner. Putting your partner first, letting them cum fast and hard. Sometimes multiple times in a row. Feeling a confidence about your cock like you’ve never experienced before. (lets face it your hung like a horse now and it feels quite nice!) But with that being said, nobody ever said you couldn’t get yours too! My partner and I always make sure we both end sexually satisfied. So, even when I wear a cock sleeve and make her climax. I proceed to remove it so she can finish me off! Wearing the cock sleeve gives me confidence, plus it’s a huge turn on and great foreplay when I know I am rocking my partners world! When you pull the penis sleeve off you will be so hard and turned on, it doesn’t take you very long to finish too! *** The one upside to not feeling that much when the cock sleeve is on, you can go for hours without cumming! When its time for you to get yours, simply remove and finish off your built-up sexual tension. Types of Penis Enhancer Sheath’s: As I stated earlier, there are a lot of different types of “penis enhancer sheaths”. I will break these down to explain the main differences (if any) and the best type of penis enhancer sheaths you can purchase in each category. This was based on countless hours of research, testimonies, interviews with sexologists, and the main sex toy retailers in the industry. After all, someone’s got to test all these sleeves! Penis Girth Sleeve: A penis girth sleeve has a single purpose… You guessed it, adding girth to you! I personally love penis girth sleeves. Almost any man can fit in the universal one size fits all since your length doesn’t matter. A true penis girth sleeve will only wrap around the outside diameter of your cock in one section. Typically, it doesn’t cover your entire penis or the tip of it. I noticed the transition from the tip of your penis onto the penis girth sleeve, back down to the base of your penis outside diameter makes for a lot of ridges. These bumps and ridges as you penetrate your partner give a dynamic and unique sensation. Bringing huge waves of pleasure to your partner. Plus, because the penis girth sleeves doesn't encompass your entire shaft, you get some great pleasure out of them too! Beyond feeling more pleasure, you still get the added benefits of penis and ball constriction from something like the Colt Slammer Penis Sleeve Colt Slammer Penis Sleeve   The Colt Slammer penis girth sleeve is big, heavy, and thick. Which is exactly what you want! This 4.25 inch long, 2 inch diameter penis girth sleeve will add nearly 2 inches in diameter to your cock instantly! Using a body-safe thermo plastic elastomer (super flexible jelly-like material) this penis girth sleeve is super easy to stretch on and fits like a glove! It wraps part of your cock and balls, keeping it in place during use and providing good constriction. No more having to worry about your penis girth sleeve slipping out of place or sliding off while thrusting away. It has an ultra-smooth inside and out and give your partner a huge sense of fullness while leaving your sensitive tip exposed for pleasure. Easy to clean after with warm water and soap, great with all water-based lubes! Penis Extension Sleeve A penis extension sleeve is something different. A penis extension sleeve adds mainly length but does inherently add a little girth since it wraps your entire shaft. This prevents the user from experience that much sensation during use. However, if your lover is looking for a fun twist on things, a penis extension can be the perfect gift! The penis extension will give you a huge boost in confidence and make you feel massive down there! Take things slow as the added length can be a rather large surprise for your partner. Just remember to clean it after use and let the silicone or TPE air dry when done. I just use warm water and soap to keep things simple but clean. I really prefer the Adams extension for a lot of reasons: Adam’s Penis Extension   Its nothing new, Adam’s Extension has been one of the highest rated, best-selling penis extension sleeve for years. It has over 60,000 sold worldwide. Why? Because it’s the best. It’s very user friendly, great design, fits almost all men, and provides the mind-blowing pleasure you’d expect. The Adam’s penis extension is made from a very soft jelly that is body safe and super flexible. Making it adapt to nearly any size, and fitting snug against you during use. The clear jelly has pleasure points inside and out allowing you to see the action while its taking place! Watch as you thrust your new huge cock into your partner, making them moan with intense pleasure. All by using a sophisticated condom! ** I say condom because that’s how simple it is to apply and use although it is not rated for birth control guys! Vibrating penis sleeve Want to give her even more stimulation beyond the huge, thick rock-hard cock? Try adding vibration and some really unique texturing to the penis sleeves. These are not as common, and frankly a little hard to find. Finding one that is of decent quality is nearly impossible! Most of the vibrating penis sleeves I’ve used have been a serious disappoint. What I can tell you, is it’s usually due to the bullet vibrator being a cheap battery-operated piece of junk! Can you tell it’s frustrated me in the past? Same as a cheap cock ring with a little bullet vibrator that takes a AA battery, they last about 10 minutes in bed. However, you have a few options. There are a couple good ways to add vibration during penetrative sex. Take a bullet like the Tango by We-Vibe and throw it in the slot on the vibrating penis sleeve for the crappy bullet. Oldest trick in the book, replace the junk piece with the best bullet vibrator on the market! You could get something like a finger vibrator from Hot Octopuss or the finger vibrator from Dame Products and directly hold it to her while penetrating her. You could have her slide a vibrator in like the EVA ll by Dame Products before you start. Lastly, you could use a cock ring on top of the vibrating penis extension and just remove the bullet all together. It’s a genius idea if you and your partner don’t mind two things being around your cock at the same time. If you want the best vibrating penis sleeve right out of the box, I have to recommend the Maxx Gear Vibrating Penis Sleeve. Maxx Gear Vibrating Penis Sleeve   “It lasted me a long time, fit really well, and had clitoral stimulators on top that my partner loved.” – Jeff (Maine) It’s true, the Maxx Gear vibrating penis sleeve will leave your partner in aww. I love it for the added vibration. While typically adding size and girth is enough to satisfy a partner, sometimes they are even looking for more! That’s where the vibration comes in handy. This is a rare find due to the quality and ability to last long. Most are made from low-grade material and the bullet vibe doesn’t last beyond a few uses. If you want extreme vibration, your best bet is still by using a quality cock ring over a good penis sleeve. Or replacing the bullet with the Tango. But if you don’t want to mess around with purchasing and dealing with adding two things together; the Maxx Gear Vibrating Penis Sleeve will work wonders. The clitoral stimulator is another added bonus that you wont find by adding a basic cock ring on the end too.   Masturbation sleeve:  A masturbation sleeve is another form of “penis sleeve” but with an entirely different function than what I’ve discussed earlier. Masturbation sleeves still wrap your cock, but are used and designed for solo play. Guys, if you’re still using your hand its time to advance beyond the stone age! We’re not in middle school anymore... Going from using your hand to a quality masturbation sleeve is like driving a Prius to getting in a Ferrari. It’s not a minor upgrade! However, I must warn you… When I first discovered using a masturbation sleeve over my right hand; I didn’t leave my room for a week! It’s like rediscovering what an orgasm is all over again! Masturbation sleeves have many different shapes, sizes, and designs. They can be made from various material but the general concept of how you use one is all the same. It’s designed to move! Slap some lube inside the masturbation sleeve and on your cock. Then slide the sleeve up and down to experience all the wonderful new textures, suction, and features it has to offer. Maybe it vibrates or uses a crazy internal design. Either way, it will make you climax fast and hard! Here are the main styles of masturbation sleeves: Open masturbation sleeve Enclosed masturbation sleeve Vibrating masturbation sleeve Tip Sleeve Remote controlled masturbation sleeve Pocket Pussies / Fleshlights Strokers **Click the link above for an example of the best in each category! Masturbation sleeve use: While they are really designed and advertised as for solo play, I feel I must inform you about how great they are for couples play too. It’s a rare thought to take a masturbation toy to the bedroom with a partner but think of it this way… Is it rare for a straight man to use a vibrator on a woman? Hell no its not, and if you haven’t tried it yet that’s a must go for the ultimate foreplay. So, why is it odd for a man to bring a masturbation sleeve to use with his partner? Let me tell you, it’s not odd, and it’s extremely pleasurable! Watching your man or girl use a masturbation sleeve on you during foreplay is smokin’ hot! Like the ultimate turn on! Also, say he/she finishes before you and doesn’t want to keep going with penetration. Let them finish you off with a masturbation sleeve so everyone is left sexually satisfied and happy! The same as if you used a vibrator on her to warm her up or finish her off. The Best Masturbation Sleeve: It's no easy task picking out the best masturbation sleeve. Unlike penis extensions and cock sleeves, a high quality masturbation sleeve is easily found. Men love them and have been using them for over two decades, so of course there are a ton of options. My personal favorite is the Tenga Zero Flip EV. Tenga Zero Flip EV:   Penis Sleeve Vs. Male Masturbator So to help clear things up on the whole penis sleeve or masturbation sleeve. A male masturbator is designed for solo use. A penis sleeve is designed for couples penetration. The male masturbators are used with a stroking motion. A penis sleeve is worn and used to thrust into a partner with. Male masturbators bring the user huge satisfying orgasms, while the penis sleeve does this for the one being penetrated. The user of the penis sleeve receives minimal physical stimulation but a lot of mental stimulation from bring their partner to climax. A male masturbator is great for training yourself to last longer in bed. It allows you to control each stroke and thrusting motion. Along with the amount of suction being applied. So, you can train your body to “edge” or get near an orgasm without actually orgasming. Once you have mastered this, you can engage in sex much more efficiently. Giving you the control over when you want to orgasm or hold off. Thick Penis Sleeve   Some men and women love the “penis sleeve” idea but really don’t want the extra length. In that case you should look for an extra thick penis sleeve. These will be cut at the tip, so no additional length is added, and you won’t struggle with trapped air. However, the additional girth can give your partner a serious sense of “fullness” while also allowing you or the person wearing it to experience some pleasure. It will provide the cock and sometimes both the cock and balls with great constriction. Keep you harder and making you last longer. Check out this ultra-thick, high-quality penis sleeve. It’s a personal favorite of mine and is sure to satisfy your partners every thick fantasy! The Best penis sleeves I always get the question “what’s the best penis sleeve”? But after reading this blog you can understand why no single option is the best penis sleeve. You will need to test different styles for yourself. A lot of it has to do with fit-up. The best penis sleeve will fit you like a glove and not rub or feel irritating during use. This does happen… All the time! Please read the dimensions for both the outside and inside closely. Next time you’re erect, measure the length and circumference of you’re cock. You’ll need to know this to find the best penis sleeve. Think about the main differences and how you plan to use it. Do you want a solo masturbation sleeve? Do you plan to use it on a partner? Would you like it to add length and girth or just girth? Do you want a silicone penis sleeve that will stretch and adapt to you? Once you understand how you want to use it, and your size. Remember silicone and TPE can stretch nearly twice their size. The rest is history! There is no going back once you’ve used one of these awesome sleeves! While I highlighted some of my favorite sleeves above in each category. Here are a just few more from my all-time favorite penis sleeves and masturbation sleeves list. PULSE III DUO   This is the only high-quality masturbation sleeve I know of that offers a remote control. They make the SOLO without the remote, but I must say… Having the clicker gives a whole new spin on things! Made by the extremely reputable manufacturing company “Hot Octopuss” the Pulse III Duo offers the first hands-free orgasm I’ve ever experienced. Literally, it wraps around your cock and you scroll through vibration patterns and intensities until you blow your load. The best part for me is it’s waterproof. So I just lay back in a bubble bath and vibe all my daily stresses away!  

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to Make a Girl Squirt!

The mysterious and elusiveness around how to make a girl squirt has been around a long time. But what exactly is squirting? How to make a girl squirt isn’t exactly taught in high school sex ed class. This article will pull back the curtains and dive deep into the anatomy of squirting. If you are a girl and want to learn how to squirt or a guy wondering how to make a girl squirt, this will become your ultimate guide. The myths around how to make a girl squirt have gone from confusing to straight fairytales over the past decade. Many men and women don’t believe female ejaculation and squirting is even a thing. Let us tell you, female ejaculation is real, it is fairly common, and is not as mysterious as people make it out be!   What is Squirting & Female Ejaculation: There is a famous myth about squirting actually being pee. The fluid that women release when they ejaculate is not urine! Make sure you pass that a long to help squash that famous rumor! Before you learn how to make a girl squirt, you should know what to expect when it comes to female ejaculation. Female ejaculate is a watery clear liquid, it forms in the female prostate glands and is released through the urethra, yes, the same hole women pee out of. But female ejaculate does not smell, look, or taste anything like urine. When women squirt, they may feel that sensation of having to pee or peeing. That sensation to pee during g-spot stimulation is completely normal. What happens is the tissue around your urethra is flooded with blood and the tissue contracts and presses against the bladder. If the women are very worried about the pee during squirting, she can pee before starting to stimulate or take a pe e break to give her confidence that is not what’s coming out. The History Behind Squirting: Both men and women have been wondering how to make a girl squirt for a long time. This is no new bodily function women have just developed in the 21st century. The ability to squirt for women has always been there. The first noting of female ejaculation was in the Kamasutra, it talks about female semen continuously falling from the vagina. The Kamasutra was written between 200-400A.D. Keep in mind, sex should not become this mission to achieve something like squirting. You should be relaxed and if it happens, it will happen naturally. You don’t need to be ashamed or scared of it. Most women would like the ability to squirt so if your given natural ability allows it, good for you!   Why is Squirting so Important? Odds are you want to know how to make a girl squirt for more than one reason. Maybe you want to impress her by making her squirt for the first time ever or feel it’s a goal you must achieve. Some women find it to be empowering or something that brings them closer to their partner. The only problem with squirting becoming increasingly popular is women find it as something they need to do, in order to satisfy their partner or show how experienced they are. According to Pornhub women are 44% more likely to search for squirting then men. The term exploded to top 20 category on the website between 2013-2015. Why are women searching for squirting so often compared to men? A lot of pressure seems to be mounting about women performing this task during sex. It is common for both men and women to search for “how to make a girl squirt”. This pressure to preform has only hindered women. If you are constantly focusing on trying to squirt, just like an orgasm, it is less likely to occur. The ability to squirt might happen more frequently for some women than others, also some women might discharge more fluid than others. But no women should ever feel pressured to squirt, as no man should ever expect their partner to perform this. When mainstream porn videos show you how to make a girl squirt, the women discharge huge amounts in a single spray-like fashion. However, in reality, this is often far from how porn displays things… Women typically only discharge small amounts, so much so, they may not even know it takes place. The Myths Behind Squirting: Squirting only happens in porn: Squirting is a natural thing that can happen to most women during sex. The big difference is how it is portrayed in porn typically is not how it happens to most women. Female Ejaculation is the same thing as squirting: Actually, the fluid produced while squirting is expelled from the urethra, whereas female ejaculate has a more viscous consistency, like saliva, and comes directly from the vagina. This was explained by Dr. Madeleine Castellanos to BuzzFeed Life. You need to orgasm in order to squirt: Squirting can happen during an orgasm or completely inde pendent of an orgasm. Some women can squirt multiple times before achieving an actual orgasm. Women can control if they want to squirt and when they squirt: If you want to know this golden rule on how to make a girl squirt every time on demand, I’m sorry to disappoint you but that’s not how it works. Squirting is very involuntary, yes you can try to stimulate specific areas in the correct manor to help persuade your body to squirt but it is no guarantee for every girl. You can’t prepare for squirting it just happens: If you don’t know how to make a girl squirt, but really want to try, there are a few things she can do prior to help. She should drink a lot of fluids that are high in protein and electrolytes and absent from sexual contact for a couple of days. This will help her intensive the squirting or make it more likely to occur. How to Make a Girl Squirt 101: Now that you know the history, anatomy, and myths behind squirting. This is the best step-by-step guide if you want to know how to make a girl squirt.   Set the Mood to Squirt: We have gone over how important this was to have the best sex of your life. Setting the mood is the initial parts of foreplay. The foreplay is must if you want to know how to make a girl squirt. She must be completely relaxed and fully turned on to help her achieve orgasm or to squirt. Just remember that “squirting” and “making a girl squirt” is not the ultimate goal. If it happens great, but if it doesn’t no big deal either. The only thing that is important is you both are receiving and or giving pleasure that is mutual and exciting. So how do I set the moo d if I want to know how to make a girl squirt? It doesn’t have to be anything over the top. But some basic examples would be diming the lights, lighting some candles, soft music, turn some porn on, lock the doors so you feel comfortable alone. You don’t want to be rushed, or have fear of someone barging in. A clear mind can go a long way! Make Yourself Comfortable and Have Plenty of Time to Squirt! Don’t be in a hurry or constantly thinking about squirting. It is a sub-conscious thing. If it will happen, let it happen naturally. Most women cannot squirt immediately after simulation, so allow plenty of time to become fully relaxed. If you are in a rush or have a time limit, don’t plan on trying to squirt for the first time ever. Gently and slowly stimulate yourself. Porn gives this misperception of having to go fast and almost violently in order to squirt. This is not how to make a girl squirt in most cases. Most of the time it will require a process of long slow g-spot stimulation and building up towards the peak of climax. If you need it fast and hard at that point, don’t hold anything back. Lube is King (or Queen)! When learning how to make a girl squirt, just remember lube is extremely important. With out lube she may dry up mid process. Lube will make everything more wet and slippery. This will aid in the ability to squirt and continue that wetness. Lube will help both him and her feel more comfortable and reduce any potential risk for soreness or injury. Stimulate the G-Spot to Squirt: Once everything is prepared its time to stimulate the g-spot. With your finger(s) inserted about 2-3 inches in, facing up towards your stomach, you’ll feel a patch that is textured like a raspberry. This is your g-spot! Continually stimulate this with lube at a slow and gentle pace to start. Once you find your rhythm you can slow down or speed up to achieve the most pleasure. This will give you a good chance of squirting. But if you want the best chance possible, you will need to invest in a g-spot stimulating sex toy. G-Spot Stimulation Sex Toys: A vibrating g-spot stimulating sex toy will give you t he best chance to make a girl squirt. So, if you’re interested in how to make a girl squirt, a vibrator like this is a must have. The vibration, lube, and g-spot stimulation will mount until you release for the ultimate orgasm or possibly squirting. What is the best g-spot stimulating sex toy? Take a look at our bestselling, highest rated g-spot sex toys: GiGi2 Enigma G-Kii Rave   Who Can Make a Girl Squirt? What’s the best part about squirting? It doesn’t take a partner to be able to squirt. You can do it all on your lonesome. Of course, your partner can stimulate you to orgasm and squirting as well. Whatever you feel most comfortable with. A lot of women like to start alone with a favorite sex toy. Then move into doing it with a partner. That partner can stimulate the women with their fingers or use the sex toy. Never limit yourself when starting out.   How to Make a Girl Squirt Conclusion: Keep in mind the most important things when learning how to make a girl squirt. Start slow, use lube, set the mood, and stimulate the g-spot. It sounds so simple, yet so many of us rush it, stimulate to hard, forget to set the mood, and never bring the lube. All these factors build on each other for the ultimate house of pleasure. One block missing, and it could come crumbling down mentally. With each piece in place, may you enjoy the pleasures of squirting and climax, time and time again.

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to Use a Dildo!

It’s a difficult and exhausting task trying to find and pick out the right dildo, but have you given much thought in how to use a dildo? Once you find and pick a dildo out, the last thing most women are concerned with is are they actually using it properly? You slide it in and out until achieving orgasm. Simple, easy, and effective so what more could you really ask for? In this article I will explain through research and testimonies, the vast and pleasurable ways of using a dildo. If you want to know how to use a dildo for the most pleasure, try a few of the examples shown below. It can be simple to start out, but once you develop more advanced techniques you will never go back. How to Pick a Dildo That’s Right for You: You have thousands of options when it comes to picking a dildo and it can be quite overwhelming. But if you want to know how to use a dildo the right way, you must pick the proper dildo for the task at hand. Here are the main things to consider when picking out a dildo:   Dildo Size: When learning how to use a dildo the size is very important. If you know your body and understand how “tight” your vaginal cavity is, you can pick out a dildo with more confidence. If one finger feels tight, you might want to stick with a slim dildo, if three fingers feel loose, you will need something with more girth. Its not a scientific measurement but will help guide you in the beginning. Once you own a few dildos, you will know what range size is best for that “fullness” feeling. If you are learning how to use a dildo with something too large or small, it will feel uncomfortable or even sore. If you experience anything uncomfortable stop immediately! Using a dildo is about experiencing pleasure not fighting through some discomfort to see if it gets better. Most good retailers will take the product back within the first week no questions asked. Clitoral Stimulation: Some dildos will stimulate the clitoris at the same time as your vagina. It is recommended when first learning how to use a dildo, save these types of dildos for when you have slightly more experience. It’s not that a beginner can’t get pleasure from a dildo of this type, it’s just easier to start simple and work your way up from there. Vibrating Dildo: Ever wonder how a dildo would feel with vibration? Well that’s where vibrators come into play. There are a lot of beginner vibrators on the market, but some women prefer a standard dildo over the vibrator, especially when first starting out. Plus, dildos typically cost less than vibrators. Check out how to use a vibrator here. Dildo Shape: How does the dildo shape really effect the pleasure you receive? It’s a simple concept really, all women’s bodies are a different shape, size, and look. You need to find a dildo that matches your body curves. You also will need to find a dildo shape that will stimulate what you’re looking for. For example, are you looking for deep penetration, external stimulation, g-spot stimulation or an all-around well-balanced dildo? This seems a little extreme, I know… But it is all an important factor that over time you will develop, learn, and understand to receive the ultimate pleasure. Have you used a g-spot dildo curved to match your vaginal cavity, that has the proper girth and length for the ultimate orgasm? It’s a beautiful thing when done properly. The days of grabbing this cheap silicone thing and shoving it in and out are over… Were now in the 21st century where sex robots can talk to you! Dildo Material: When learning how to use a dildo the material is almost as important as the size and shape. When looking at very cheap dildos the material can be toxic, so be aware of the chemical make-up. The most risk comes from silicone dildos with oil-based lube. The lube can break down these cheap dildos and release toxins. Just be aware of this is all. Dildos can come in stainless-steel, glass, crystal stones, wood, and silicone. From a quality standpoint I ranked them highest to least. Like most things, you typically get what you pay for. If you find a silicone dildo for 10 bucks that is 50% off chances are your taking a risk and won’t be satisfied with the quality or pleasure it brings. Dildo Lube: Keep this rule in mind: Silicone does not mix with oil. You should always use lube with any sex toy but keep oil-based lubes away from silicone sex toys and condoms. It increases the risk to break down the sex toy or tear the condom. Instead use water-based lubes. Oil based lube is great for all other material sex toys and in the shower or tub since the oil will last longer. Dildo Color: Not the most functional feature of any dildo, but if you buy something quality, it can last you years of pleasure. So, make sure it’s visually appealing to you and your partner. It should be a show piece, not something you are embarrassed to pull out in front of your partner. How to Use a Dildo to Masturbate:                   There are a couple key things to remember when understanding how to use a dildo to masturbate. The most important are: Set the Mood: We have said it before but continue to stress the importance of setting the mood. It is not “cheap” or “corny”. Setting the mood can turn any ordinary masturbation session into the ultimate night in. It can be something as simple as dimming the lights and lighting some candles. Or something as extreme as turning hardcore porn on. However, you decided to alter your surroundings, take the time to prepare for your masturbation session and it will really pay off. Understanding the technique behind how to use a dildo is just as important as the time spent leading up to the actual penetration of the dildo itself. Have Plenty of Time The “quickie” has its time and place. Don’t turn every masturbation session into a quickie. To experience a full body, mind blowing, body shaking orgasm it doesn’t occur in 2 minutes. Its all about the buildup and anticipation. Once you have the proper dildo, run it all over your body, rub it on your clit and get it nice and wet. Lube the shaft, stroke the shaft, suck the shaft, use the dildo for more than just single-entry penetration. Take the time, to experience your bodies full potential. Fully Relax the Body & Mind: Knowing how to relax your body and mind is just important as knowing how to use a dildo. Being stressed out can have negative effects on trying to get turned on or having the ability to orgasm. So, take a warm bath, hire a babysitter to take the kids out, or watch a long romantic movie. Whatever it is that helps relax your body, do before touching yourself. You can always start touching yourself in the bath or during a partner massage if you feel completely relaxed and ready to go! Warm Yourself Up: Use your favorite water-based lube on your fingers to start. Start slowly touching yourself in all places, don’t just go straight for your genitals. Don’t ignore other sensitive areas like your ears, nipples, and inner thighs. Your partner should never ignore these either while warming you up either. Once you are completely turned on, and fully relaxed pull out your dildo. Each dildo will give unique experiences and pleasure so if you want to know how to use a dildo for the most pleasure, you must experience a wide variety before truly knowing your body and style. How to Use a Dildo with a Partner: When most people think of how to use a dildo it is always a solo masturbation act. But why is that? Using a dildo with a partner can be better than alone. Your partner can help warm you up, use the dildo, then finish off with penetration or oral sex. It can all easily blend into one large orgy of pleasure. You have his penis (or her vagina) their tongue and touch, then you throw a dildo into the mix! When first trying this, if your partner is a guy who has never used a dildo on a partner or you, he will require guidance. You need to show him how to use a dildo, either through words (left, right, fast, soft) or with your hand on his. If he still isn’t getting it, make him sit back and watch how you use it. This will show him exactly how to use a dildo on you. It is also a huge turn on to force him watch you masturbate. How to Use a Dildo (technique & examples)       Now that you understand almost everything about how to use a dildo, lets get into some more technical detail about the actual process. Once you set the mood, get relaxed, have the lube, and warmed up… what’s next?! Grab that dildo and we will show you some amazing examples of how to use it. Deep Thrusting Dildo: The name says it all ladies… slow, long, deep thrusting. Thrusting along the entire length of your vagina provides external and internal stimulation as it slides in. For this example, a textured straight dildo will suit you best. Make sure the length and girth are appropriate for your body type. It should have a fullness feeling and reach as far as your willing to comfortably go. A wobbly silicone dildo can make this action tough. Stick with something stiffer, if the texture becomes overwhelming you can always switch to a smooth dildo. Rock the Dildo While Entering: A straight dildo doesn’t always limit you. When learning how to use a dildo you need to experiment different techniques with it. Try rocking it in and out. As you slide it in, pull the handle towards you and vise versa on the way out. Start slow and increase pace in a rhythmic pattern. You want the dido to apply pressure at the bottom of your vagina when fully inserted. This sensation is similar to thrusting but will also provide some clitoral stimulation when the dildo is at the shallowest part of entry and it is tipped up. Rocking works best with a dildo that has some give in it. You can try it with a curved dildo for that extra rock effect if you enjoy it with the straight dildo. Rotational Thrusting Dildo: In this one you twist the dildo in rotations while thrusting it in and out. There is a whole category of dildos known as “juicers” they come with a crank and you turn them as you insert. So you know this action works well. Most dildos will work with this technique as long as they don’t have sever bends in them. Shallow Dildo Strokes: As the famous saying goes “just the tip”. When first starting to learn how to use a dildo try slowly inserting just the tip. Shallow quick strokes can actually bring the most pleasure. This is because majority of your nerves are based externally and up to 2 inches inside the vagina. That means you don’t need the super victor (now discontinued… I wonder why?) in order to get off. Dildo Anal Play: Although specific toys like anal beads and butt plugs are typically used for anal. By no means does it leave dildos off the table. If you love anal play, go ahead and use that dildo in the rear. If you are not used to anal sex, make sure to take the proper measures first before tying a dildo back there. Use lots of lube, make sure the dildo is clean before putting it back in your vagina. Double Penetration: Who said only one dildo is allowed? Grab two dildos or a dildo and butt plug. Then leave one in your butt while you stroke the dildo in and out of your vagina. This will provide A-spot and G-spot stimulation. Still not enough pleasure? Use that spare hand to rub your clitoris while stroking the dildo. This will be an overload of pleasure surging through your body. It can be overwhelming for some women, so I highly suggest working your way up to something like that.   How to Use a Dildo Conclusion:   In the end you will learn how to use a dildo through experience and a little research. The most important part is not the actual action of the dildo, but the steps you take in preparation leading up to it. Take your time, start slow, use lube, set the mood… the list goes on. Everything will be a new and exciting sexual experience so don’t try to jump into it all at once. Just take it one step at a time, try a different dildo here and there. It’s a fun process to learn your body and what kind of pleasure something as simple as a dildo or vibrator can bring. Once you know your body and how to really receive loads of pleasure from your dildo, share that experience with a partner! It can become a massive turn on for both of you to introduce sex toys into the bedroom with each other! With or without someone, have fun and enjoy the delightful, mind-blowing orgasms that a dildo can bring!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Shibari!

Sure, everyone has heard of light bondage… Over 80% of American couples have even said they’ve dabbled in it. But what if I told you “light bondage” is only scratching the surface of what is really out there. What if I told you “light bondage” can be awkward, intimidating, and even painful if not done properly (many of you are shaking your head up and down as you know exactly what I’m talking about). A bit a practice and education can take bondage from awkward to an “out of body” experience of pleasure and euphoria for both of you. My goal is to educate you on light bondage first, but then dive deep into the world of Shibari and the most extreme forms of rope bondage. Shibari, rigger, rope bunny, kinbaku… What the heck are we talking about? “Were talking about using bindings to help with your bonding” A sense and feeling of closeness to your partner like never before! I’m talking about building the anticipation with each and every knot tied, leading to the most mind-blowing sensual experience of your life… But let’s back it up a minute, we need to walk before we run. Here is the last guide you'll ever need to rope bondage and shibari: Light Bondage: When I say “light bondage” the first thing that comes to mind is an amateur couple who saw 50 shades of grey and though that looks hot let’s give it a go! To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! I love the fact couples can watch a sexy movie like that and are willing to try something new! Everyone needs to start somewhere, and while you might not be a Kinbaku rope master… So what, you’re pushing the limits and having fun with it! Sometimes the word “bondage” gets confused with metal handcuffs, chains, and leather straps. But you don’t need to go this hardcore. Shabari and rope tying can come after a lot of “light bondage” sessions. Light bondage is more up the alley of loosely binding the wrists with a scarf, tie, or stocking. Using things like a blindfold and feather to tease and heighten the sensation. How Do I Initiate Light Bondage?   If you both have mutual consent, trust, communication and a desire to expand your sexual boundaries; this will be a walk in the park! The next time you’re fooling around, roll your partner on their back and straddle them. Raise their arms over their head and bound their hands. Then… Have your way with them. Building the anticipation is key here. Lick, caress, kiss, and massage your way up and down their body. Dominating can be intoxicating, but surrender is sweet. If you both enjoy the experience and looking to ramp up the heat, start using additional accessories like a blindfold, feather, pinwheel, whip, or sex toy (find here). You can also start dabbling in new rope positions such as tying their hands and their feet, or their hands behind their back. Remember, the pleasure is in the journey, not just in the penetration although it often leads to this... If you both really enjoy the light bondage; the actual act of tying and being tied… you should consider trying Shibari or Kinbaku. What is Kinbaku? In the theme of Japanese sayings: “To understand Shibari, you must first understand Kinbaku. “ Think Macro vs. Micro. Some also think of it as  Authentic Japanese Vs. Western Culture. Kinbaku means “tight binding” and Kinbaku-bi means “the beauty of tight binding”. Kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage which involves tying a person using a simple yet visually appealing pattern using a series of rope knots. This is typically done with a thin piece of rope in a symmetrical pattern throughout. Kinbaku bondage started as a sexual activity in Japan around the early 1600’s. But tying someone up to have sex with them is not exactly what it’s all about... The aesthetics of the binding are extremely important, and the journey of tying or being tied is just as important as the sexual aspect. These bindings are distinguished by it’s use of specific form and rules. For example; most Kinbaku bondage is asymmetric and often intentionally uncomfortable positions are employed on the person being tied. The person being tied is usually naked leading to heavy sexual reference. It can often lead to sexual activities during or after being tied, but is certainly not the sole focus.   There are a lot of different views between what exactly Shibari is vs. what Kinbaku is. But without getting to involved; most think of Kinbaku as an artistic, connective, sensual, and sexual practice as a whole. It is a term for artistic or erotic tying within traditional Japanese rope bondage circles. What is Shibari?     On the flip side of Kinbaku, most think Shibari strictly refers to artistic, aesthetic rope bondage, without the focus on sexual activities. It’s also been said that Shibari is a Western misuse of Japanese vocabulary. The word denotes “tying” in a generic way not in the specific context of bondage. However, now-a-day Kinbaku and Shibari are virtually interchangeable. Both are extremely common among the tight knit communities that tie (you see what I did there?). I can even say, in Japan, they use Shibari very frequently without looking upon it as a negative term developed by Western society. So, in the end people have their theory on the difference, but “potato or patato”. They both refer to very technical rope bondage with some sensual focus. They heavily emphasize the journey over the destination. Shibari attracts a lot of BDSM players who want to take their bondage experience to the next level. The Shibari Bondage Technique: Shibari is based on a specific rope patterns, many were derived from Hojojutsu, but modified to be made safe. Hojojutsu were Japanese ties that were deliberately designed to cause a prisoner harm; hence why they had to be modified for erotic bondage! The basis of most Shibari ties stem from a type of box ties which surrounds the chest and arms. There are many different Shibari patterns I will touch on later. But from a technique standpoint, you really need to think about what you and your partner want out of the experience. Do you want to just feel bound up, or do you want to feel pain, get comforted while tied (like having your back/arms/hands rubbed) or whatever else. Talk about it and have a game plan of ties going into your first session. Don’t forget the teasing, dirty talk, foreplay, denial play, and edging to go with it all. Remember if you want it to be a more sexual experience to build this anticipation throughout the entire session. The options are endless, so be creative, fun, and above all safe! Rope Bunny Vs. Rigger BDSM: Throughout the BDSM community the individual being tied and the one doing the tying have been given the terms Rope Bunny and Rigger. Here is what you need to know about each: Bondage Rigger:   A bondage rigger can be a person of any gender who practices the art of tying bondage, although often pictured the male, lots of women participate as the rigger too! There are a lot of different reasons one becomes a bondage rigger. It could be as a form of art, BDSM play, personal enjoyment, or a profit enterprise for teaching others. The bondage rigger doesn’t always have to tie a person up. They can tie themselves up in a form called self-rigging or self-suspension. The rigger term itself comes from sailing, when it was applied to the person who was responsible for the ropes that controlled the sails. (well that makes more sense now!) Rope Bunny:   On the flip side of the BDSM rigger, you have the rope bunny. The rope bunny is someone who is tied up with rope by another individual. Rope bunny can also be referred to as the model who is tied up to demonstrate the shibari techniques and knots. Some individuals in the BDSM and kink community see the term “rope bunny” as a name towards a victim, instead of an active participant in the tying. So a more neutral term “rope bottom” is also used. Most rope bunny’s really enjoy the power exchange that comes with being tied up. They are helpless, controlled, and restrained. This can be a big turn on for those who on the flip side are controlling or have more powerful roles on a day-to-day basis. The tight sensation and look of the rope wrapped around their skin is very sensual in nature. There is a degree of risk when being a rope bunny though. Make sure you read about the correct safety procedures below and only work with riggers you trust. My First Rope Bondage Experience?   There is a long lists of reasons people practice, participate, and love shibari. But first, I need to tell my personal story, perhaps you can relate. When I first met my boyfriend, he had practiced shibari for some time. He enjoyed both rigging and being tied. I was always skeptical but let him practice with others and continue to do what he loved. I wasn’t going to ruin something he enjoyed even if I wasn’t immediately ready to immerse myself into that world. Light bondage sure, but being tied for an hour… I was skeptical I could receive much pleasure form that. After about a year of being heavily involved in the bdsm community due to my business “Diskret” and my boyfriend who tied; my curiosity got the best of me. I decided to give Shibari a shot! I’m a bit of a control freak, my boyfriend knew that, so it was not easy for me to overcome my fear of being tied, restricted, and not being able to move. My boyfriend helped ease my mind and started slow. Just one arm, then one leg. It was okay, nothing to special in my mind. I was just proud I didn’t freak out. I finally agreed to a full tie session. Head to toe, immerse myself in the rope and give it a go. I figured I would freak out, be super bored, or love it and finally understand why so many others do too. So, when we were at a kink party one night, I decided to let him tie me in front of others for a show. He was super surprised, and also extremely excited. I could tell by the look on his face he was questioning if I was sure I wanted to do this… I assured him I was ready and went over to the mattress where he began to slowly tie me. Something about the atmosphere, the darkness, the people watching, the comfort and confidence I had in my boyfriend… I was out like a light! I seriously do not remember much... He was halfway up my leg and arm and I floated away off in my own world. On a cloud, like the “out of body” experiences you see in movies. I don’t have anything to really compare it too… But I can imagine it would be like a very powerful psychedelic drug. I didn’t freak out, I wasn’t bored, I was extremely calm actually. I loved the feeling of the rope slowly wrapping my body, I remember others at the party talking, and can slightly remember him checking in with me. Making sure I was okay, although I cant remember my exact responses. For a while the only things I could get out of my mouth were small moans. Time drifted away, and when I was finally untied, I sat up mind-less like I was on the ultimate "rope high". I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t grab my drink, my boyfriend caressed my shoulders as I relaxed and came down from my rope bondage high. It took hours for me to become completely coherent again. I know how strange and absurd this sounds now. But those who have tied and been rope bunnys for a long time know exactly what I am talking about. Not everyone experiences this rope high on there first try. I get that I was lucky. I contribute it to a few factors: I am a control freak and seldom let go of all control like this. I trusted my boyfriend to tie since I’ve seen him do it so many times, and I was also joining a community I understood and grew to love. I quickly understood why so many men and women love Shibari bondage! Shabari is passion, lust, erotic, and a form of deep meditation. I want to be tied! What Do I Do? So, you want to be a rope bunny ehh? Great! Well you’re not alone. The shibari bondage community is growing big and its really not that difficult with mainstream media to find others with the same interest, passion, and love for rope bondage. This makes finding a qualified rigger easier than 10 years ago when it was just an underground community. Rope Bondage: When practicing shibari you really need to focus on a few things. The pleasure, yes of course, but your safety is always the number one priority. If you’re being tied, your well-being is placed in the hands of your rigger. It is imperative they know what they are doing. If done improperly they can cut of blood circulation to any limb of the body. Shibari Safety The most important thing when practicing Shibari is communication. The rigger should check in with his subject being tied. How frequently that needs to occur is really based on the experience level and comfortability of both the rope bunny and BDSM rigger. At a minimum they should check in after each major knot that is tied. A good rigger will ask how you feel and what sensations are you feeling throughout. The rigger should know what knots apply pressure to specific nerves and understand the sensations associated with compression on them. Scissors: It’s always a good idea to keep a heavy duty pair of medical grade scissors nearby. In case of an emergency the rigger can quickly cut the knots away. Safe word: You should also have a safe word. Some BDSM and kink couples say “stop” but really want to keep going; It’s a form of dominance play. If that’s the case, make sure you have a random safe word that means stop immediately. Stretch & Hydrate: I can tell you from personal experience, I’ve had to pull the trigger on safe words when cramping during a Shibari session. It can be so hot and sexy, yet nothing kills the buzz quicker than a bad cramp in the leg or arm that you can’t stretch due to being tied up. The pain can be intense on these cramps, and I might even have the rigger cut the ropes away depending on how bad it is. The best way to prevent cramping during your next kinbaku session? Make sure to drink water and stretch plenty. It’s a good idea to start drinking extra water the day before. It's also a buzz kill and hard to focus if you have to pee after being tied up! So, slim back on the water an hour or two before your session. Food: For some, it's all about being comfortable when the rope bunny. Make sure you have a decent meal in you and hydrate. If you get hungry halfway through, well that’s just to bad! It then becomes hard to focus and relax. Not a big deal on quick ties, but if you plan to be tied for a few hours, don’t forget a snack ahead of time! What rope ties should I learn?   I always say a blog or book is not the best place to learn the exact Shibari rope ties. While you can get a good understanding of what Kinbaku is, how it is performed, and why it is performed. The exact ties are best learned from a rigging master, videos, and tutorials (will link you to the best at the end). Here is a list you can ask a rigging master about or research on your own to get you started: Single wrist binding Both wrists binding Handcuff binding Prisoner handcuff binding Hands behind the back binding High hands behind the back binding Hands behind the head tie Tasuki (kimono string) tied Crotch rope tie Turtle (diamond pattern) binding Upright standing binding Cross-legged binding Shrimp binding Reverse shrimp binding Standing partial suspension One foot lifted partial suspension Hanging letter M, open leg binding Reverse hanging shrimp binding Reverse prayer hands Arms bound in front Legs bound together Rifle tie Futomomo -Leg, calf to thigh High Hands on Front Tie How Do I Find A Master BDSM Rigger?   If you want to learn from a master BDSM or get tied by one, where do you look? It’s not like you can head to your local grocery store and start asking people “hey, are you a BDSM master rigger by chance”? Can you imagine the looks… haha! But have no fear, social media is here! Today with the online communities its really not as hard as you’d think to find the Shibari community. Hell one #kinbaku on Instagram gives me 60,000 images. So, if your looking for a Shibari master check out places like this: Twitter Instagram Facebook Fetlife Reddit (sub categories) Kink Parties Kink Expos Sex Toy Expos Porn Expos Maybe even your local grocery store? 😉 I want to try Shibari & Kinbaku. What Do I need? You need a rigger and a rope bunny, some shibari rope, and additional sex toys if you so desire. You should also have medical grade scissors and a safe word for safety. But most importantly you’ll need a good quality rope. Even with a high-quality rope, if you’re a beginner I suggest staying away from “crotch ties”. Leave these to once you gain more experience, crotch ties can be extremely uncomfortable unless tied right. Also, without the proper rope they can be horrible. Make sure it is made from silk for hemp to help avoid itching, burning sensations. Best Shibari Rope:   Here is my favorite Shibari rope. It comes in 5 meter long or 10 meter long natural pure hemp rope. You can also get it in a softer silky-smooth black rope. They have metal tips to prevent them from unwinding and are perfect for erotic bondage. BDSM Handcuffs:   If you want some BDSM play without the knot tying, the best option would be bondage handcuffs. They are a quick and easy way to hold your partners hands above their head, behind their back, or to an object like a bedpost. I prefer using leather ones, they are usually more comfortable, and feel less like a criminal during use. Check these BDSM handcuffs out if you’re interested. Silk Bondage Rope:   Here is my favorite silk bondage rope. It is 72” long and made from pure silky-smooth polyester. It has a little more stretch and give to it than natural hemp rope. It’s a sexy dark grey color and will keep your partner comfortable for those long tying sessions. Silicone Bondage ties:   Buttery smooth silicone that stretches over your wrists and ankles… Perfectly conforming to every contour of you body. These silicone bondage ties are a very unique way to tie someone up. They are different and take some getting used to. They don’t lay perfectly flat, and can pinch your arm/leg hair a bit if not laid proper. But believe me, they are incredible once you get the hang of. I love you still have some flex. You’re not locked 100% only 95% so you can still twist and contort if you need to find a more comfortable position. Here is a great article on them if you need more info! Shibari Accessories:   With any Shibari experience, you want to keep the rope bunny entertained. This can be difficult unless you’re a rigger who constantly is contorting and moving the rope bunny to his set positions. One great way to keep them intrigued, turned-on, and forever fantasying is with accessories. Try some of these accessories during your next light bondage, erotic bondage, or shibari experience to keep thing mysterious and pleasurable! Tantra Feather Sex Pinwheel Suede Whip Pegging Equipment (female riggers) Leather Harnesses Flogger Spanking Paddle Blindfold Crop Nipple Clamps Water-Based Lube Gag Ball You can use your imagination and quickly visualize how anyone of these shibari accessories could enhance the rope tie experience. **Each shibari accessory is a link to a high quality product offered from Diskret. How Do I Make Erotic Rope Bondage Even Better?                     While tying someone up is a lot of fun, make sure to keep the person being tied entertained too. Some rope bunnies enjoy the tying session to be more erotic in nature. If you’re with a partner and plan to use the shibari as foreplay leading to penetrative sex; bring the accessories out to keep them turned on and craving more the entire time you’re tying them. Building the anticipation and bringing them close to orgasm before stopping is one of the hottest ways to preform rope bondage. Have them “edge” multiple times before penetration even occurs! You have so many different options to use on them during the bondage experience, but here are some you must try at least once! Wand Vibrators: One of the most common forms of stimulating a female rope bunny. Wand vibrators are extremely powerful and provide huge waves of clitoral stimulation. You can tie her in a fashion that the wand vibrator is automatically held against her body, or tie her hand holding it so she can apply the wand vibrator when she desires. A common tie is wrapping the rope around her inner thigh and the wand, making the vibrating wand head to sit directly on her vagina and clitoris. This can make her orgasm hard while being restrained. While I wont link to it because that’s totally NSFW, check out Owen Gray with a wand vibrator on PornHub. He knows how to use one with or without bondage 😉 Check out the 6 most powerful wand vibrators here. Butt Plugs Try inserting a butt plug into the bondage bunny before you start tying. This provides pleasure with each twisting on the legs or torso; which happens a lot throughout the tying process. Get a vibrating butt plug and turn it on and off as you bring them closer and closer to the most powerful orgasm of their life… All while being tied and restrained. The rigger can also use a butt plug. This will give them additional pleasure while they tie, and since it is hands free… Why not? Find the best butt plugs here Ben-Wa-Balls Some women find sliding in ben-wa-balls before going to a dinner party sexy. Believe me, I find that sexy too... But if you want a similar sensation, slide ben-wa-balls into the female rope bunny before you start to tie her. She will be rolling, twisting, and turning with pleasure from the balls the entire time you tie her! A female rigger can also slide these in before starting to tie since they are hands free. She can then do extraordinary sex dominant things later with them (such as have the rope bunny lick them). Find high-quality Ben-Wa-Balls here A Cockring A cockring should always be in the arsenal of a male rigger. Is it common in Shibari or Kinbaku to use cockrings? Not really… But I’m not here to show you the most common way, I’m explaing the most pleasurable way. Using toys might be a slight twist off traditional shibari, but if the rope bunny and rigger are up for it… It can add a huge boost in sexual sensation for both! I prefer the male rigger wear a cockring when he starts to tie. As he gets turned on throughout the tie session, the constriction from the cockring will keep him hard. Making sure he is ready to thrust at any moment! Find your ultimate guide on cockrings here. Finger Vibrator   Finger vibrators are another great sex toy to use during your erotic bondage session. They are very slim and discreet. A non-intrusive way to add huge waves of pleasure, particularly for her. These small vibrators slip over your fingertips and apply huge penetrating vibes to whatever you touch! A male rigger can wear these to use on his female bunny, or the female rope bunny can use them on herself while being tied. Keeping her well occupied and turned on during the shibari. Want the perfect teasing sensation? Let the female rope bunny use the finger vibrator on herself. As she nears orgasm, tie her hand up; just out of reach from caressing her clit! Check out the best finger vibrators for this here! Shibari tutorials: Here are some tutorials for rope tying. Sometimes the visualization from these experts really help you understand the knots and movements. I learned from a school: You can check out here You even get a “certification” when you graduate. I wouldn’t say it makes you an expert, only experience can do that, but free or paid schooling will both get you off to a great start. Twisted Monk (purely practical tutorials, latest videos are filmed in really high quality) Watts The SafeWord (a bit more fun approach) Two Knotty Boys Videos Crash Restraint — a huge database of tons of different ties you can try with videos Rope365 (a great site for tons of ideas and basic rope tutorials)

Blog – by Diskret Life

XXX Stories

XXX stories, otherwise known as "erotic stories", are written stories that focus on sexual arousal and sexual fetishism. The range of this sexual focus can vary widely depending upon the author, the platform, and the work. In some XXX stories, the story consists of a sex scene - and that's it. In other XXX stories, the sex scenes are scattered throughout an otherwise-full storyline. You'll enjoy character development and plot points - that also happen to have some erotic sex scenes to read through. Why Do People Enjoy XXX Stories? XXX stories can be just as pleasurable as photos and videos. In fact, some people find that they prefer erotic stories over other types of erotic material. Not only does their imagination fill in the blanks, but it can be a lot easier to read xxx stories in public or when discretion is of the utmost importance. XXX stories are also some of the most popular ways to enjoy sex scenes between characters created by popular fandoms. In many cases, xxx stories may also be the only way to self-report an experience. While most people are able to describe a sexual adventure that happened to them, most people don't often have a camera crew or photographer nearby for their sexual escapades. For people who love to hear about other's experiences, xxx stories are clearly the way to go. XXX stories also offer a lower "bar of entry" for submission. Most people have the ability to write. While they may not be able to write well, they can still write. The same can't be said for someone's ability to render video, create animation, or draw art. Where Can I Find XXX Stories? The great thing about XXX stories is that they're not that hard to find. Sure, photos and videos can be amazing (and arousing!), but the written word is something that a lot more people are capable of producing - and more people are comfortable producing too (with privacy concerns in visual medias). Finding XXX stories can honestly be as simple as just logging onto your local sex chat. You'll probably find hundreds of people looking to "roleplay" and take turns pretending the two of you are having sex - all through the written word. If you prefer something more passive, though, you still have thousands upon thousands of options! The easiest place is accessible to you right now: the internet. There are hundreds of websites that exist purely for sexual stories. Some are based around specific fetishes and others are just general stories of sexual enjoyment. Some will be based around well-known characters of your favorite fandoms while others will be original characters with unique backstories. Not only that, but print and e-book services are a good place to find erotic stories too. Even the big-name book stores carry erotica books in print - right in their stores! Just check the "Self-Help and Relationships" section of most bookstores. Want something a bit more discreet? Lots of erotic authors are now publishing e-book versions of their favorite novels. The big e-book companies sell them - or you can check out some of the smaller indie e-book companies if you'd like less restriction on the fetish and sex content of the books. (While big box stores do allow erotic authors to sell erotic books on their platforms, there's usually more restriction about the content and wording.) But How Do I Find Good XXX Stories? Now that's where the hard part is, isn't it? Once you start exploring the world of xxx stories, you're going to find that there are a LOT of different xxx stories out there to read! There are thousands upon thousands - and no way that you could read all of them within your masturbatory lifetime. So narrowing down your potential choices becomes part of the process. First off, you'll want to look at xxx stories in print. In order to make it into a printed book, there are certain processes that most writing goes through. It usually requires a couple looks from copy-editors as well as a basic talent in the author itself. Printing physical copies of books isn't cheap, and companies don't usually invest their time and money into authors who can't write! However, printed books may have a limited range of fetishism and explicit sex - and they can be hard to read in public (if that's your thing). After that, the second best option is e-books. While there's less of a review process to publish an e-book, most e-book authors are still looking to make money - which means having a copy-editor look over their work and try to improve it to the best of their abilities. Look for authors who have a good amount of sales - or authors who have multiple erotic books under their belt. The ones who have managed to make a small living off of it are the ones who are doing some good writing. Loyal fans don't usually stick around for terrible writing. What about Good and FREE XXX Stories? Okay, that's true. Both of the options I've given you so far require a monetary investment in your xxx stories. Let's be fair: writers are providing content that you want to read, and as such, it makes sense that they should deserve a bit of a kickback for the time and erotic fantasies that they've painted. Whenever possible, you should try to support writers and artists of content you love. That being said, I know your budget may not be large enough to support a new erotic author every day. Finding free xxx stories that captivate your interest can definitely be harder than finding compensated ones, but it's still possible! You'll primarily be using the internet. It's possible to try to check out erotic books from your local library, but it's usually just easiest to try to wet your whistle with the variety of erotic writing available online. First, you'll need to find a website that appeals to you. If you have a particular fetish or kink, you might consider looking for websites that cater to those fetishes. Depending on the popularity of that kink, you might even be able to find forums or other group-meeting websites that will likely have quite a few real-life and fantasy stories for you to read! Try to do some thorough research and Google searches to find some good options that cater to your kink whims. Once you've found a website, the next part is narrowing down the xxx stories available to you. You'll likely have to weed through quite a few crappy stories to start to find the good stories that you want to read. Some writers just don't have much of a talent for writing - and since we're talking about sex literature, some authors are just "writing" with one hand too. Skip all of the stories that seem terrible and try to stick to the ones that are well-written and you enjoy reading. Finding a few authors that you enjoy is the first step. Once you have that under your belt, it's time to explore other writings from that same author. Sometimes you'll hit a dead end and that author will be new to the site, but in many cases, you'll find that the writer has written quite a few more other stories - and those stories will likely be of the same quality caliber as the first one you loved! Dig deeper down the rabbit hole, and you'll be able to find lots of stories from authors that you already enjoy. Once you tap out that reserve, depending on the website, you'll be able to see what stories that particular author has enjoyed reading - and you'll be able to hop over to those xxx stories. Once you've found a couple good authors to flush out, it makes it much easier to continue to read good xxx stories without bumping into the bad ones. Can I Write my Own XXX Stories? As you continue reading xxx stories, you might find yourself wanting to "give back" to the writing community too. This is totally normal, and most authors call it "inspiration". Writing an erotic story doesn't have to be hard - and it can actually be pretty damn fun too! Depending upon what website you're using, you might be able to submit your own stories for other people to read as well. In an awesome feedback loop of writing, commenters who love your story will likely have read other stories that you might enjoy too - further giving you new stories and authors to explore. What are Some Tips for Writing XXX Stories? Writing XXX stories is similar to writing regular stories - only the content is a bit more explicit this time around. It'll still take a bit of time, some inspiration, and a semi-clear view about what's going to happen within the story. Unlike non-sexual writing, however, your xxx stories likely do not need to have much character development or protagonists and other plot points. It's usually enough to just have hot, well-written sex. Before you even begin writing, you're going to want to have a basic plot in mind. You don't need to flush it out like with non-sexual writing, but you'll want to have a good idea of what's going to happen. Where are your characters? What kinks are they going to do? How are they going to make it into the sex? Who will orgasm and how? Will everyone leave the story happy and satisfied? Having answers to these basic questions will help you flush out your ideas - and prevent writer's block. This type of brainstorming is perfect for your morning shower. Once you have your ideas, you need to put them down to paper. Most erotic writers recommend doing this while aroused. It'll help you get into the character - and it'll help your writing flow more easily. Be in that nice half-way state between "very aroused" and "I need to masturbate". You'll want both of your hands for writing, but being in that sexual state will help your writing. After you've finished your writing (and it might take a couple different days to finish it depending on your schedule!), you'll want to let it sit for a few days. I know it's tempting to publish your work right away, but let it sit for a week. You may find that you have other things you want to add. More importantly, you're going to come back to that writing in a week and read through it. Preferably, read it out loud if you can. You'll find yourself changing words, editing spelling errors, and moving around sentences for better "flow" of the wording. This is part of the editing process, and it'll help take your work from "okay sex story" to "I want to read more from this person".

Blog – by Diskret Life

What is it like to be a Dominatrix?

Years ago, Lola Jean met a guy on a dating app who liked to be submissive during sex. She realized she enjoyed dominating him, so she started doing it with others as well. She was between jobs at the time and wanted something flexible, and before she know it, she’d become a professional dominatrix, first at a dungeon and then independently. Now, she not only sees clients privately but also teaches workshops, coaches people on their sex lives, and performs at events. She specializes in entertaining those with wrestling fetishes (yes, that’s a thing). I asked her about what it’s like to be a dominatrix and the lessons she’s learned on the job.   What do you like about being a dominatrix? Impact play gets pretty old after a while even though it’s usually the first aspect that draws many people in. My favorite aspect is the psychological portion. The fragility and vulnerability that is trusted in my hands. Everyone is like a puzzle, and I enjoy delicately and deliberately unraveling their knots while earning their trust. What has surprised you about your job? I had my own notions about certain kinks and what I thought was “weird” before entering the professional setting. Once you learn about the reasoning behind each kink and generally how or why they were developed, most of them are quite adorable. I used to think adult babies/diaper lovers was one of the more odd fetishes until you realize they mostly want to be held in an infant-like state. They want to be helpless and loved like the rest of us. What is interesting to me and gives a better understanding of my client, instead of only knowing what it is they’re after — if they even know at all — is the how and why. This gives me a better foundation to map where I should take them on their journey. I know other varieties of sex work — like stripping — can be a lot more cutthroat between sex workers, but in domming, I developed a community of individuals who are SO supportive of each other. You would think there would be competition, but we all recognize that each of us has different skill sets, different aesthetics and such —  we help each other out, we root each other on. We congratulate and commiserate. We offer advice and support. This is the first time I’ve had a solid network of authentic female friends. Who knew I’d have to go to sex work to find it? Are there aspects of the job that you don’t like? Client or not, I grow tired of the assumption that everything related to kink and domming has to be sexual in order for someone to enjoy it. Whenever I speak of wrestling fetish, I’m constantly met with, “But wait, I don’t get it. Are they getting off to it? What do they get out of it? Do they cum?” In any type of sex work, people see it as something they could “get for free” with a consenting partner. But if you want a specific and tailored experience, especially if you want that experience from an unbiased third party, seeking out a professional makes sense. I can get a massage from a lover, but it’ll probably be more of what I want if I seek out a masseur. Are there particular kinds of people who tend to hire you? Any pattern? The taboo is inherently sexy. People tend to want what is the opposite from them. There’ a slew of hasidic clients, but I’m Jewish, so it’s less likely they’d seek me out. Hasidic and Indian cultures tend to be more suppressed, so you see a high proportion of clients in general coming from these backgrounds. Sex work or not, Black and Latino men tend to fetishize me due to my curvaceous figure. White men tend to fetishize Asian women. Jewish men tend to fetishize Black women. My wrestling clients skew more white male because that’s a large majority of who is into the fetish. Otherwise, I’d say Indian men, but that also is something to do with my feet. It really depends on the fetish, just as much as my aesthetic. What are people's most common reasons for seeing you? A release. And not the physical release because that’s one of my boundaries. This craving and need for a certain type of scenario gets pent up when one isn’t able to receive it in the way they desire. Finding someone to facilitate that and then experience it can feel like they are getting that itch that needed to be scratched for so long. Depending on the client, I’ve helped individuals work out some psychological issues, gain confidence, feel acceptance and safety. I really enjoy taking elements from therapy and psychology into my work, understand how and when people need to open up on their own. Some of my favorite client stories are when I’m able to make them uncomfortable for their own benefit or predict their needs before they are able to recognize them. One client sought me out for wrestling initially, and over the course of our first session, I was able to deduce that they were grappling with their gender identity. I knew it was a new and sensitive area for them that they were unsure of themselves. Being careful with my language and approach, we were able to slowly unravel their identification as trans and—in private—slowly work toward increasing their comfort and discovering themselves freely within our session before they were ready to bring that into the world. Why do you think we so often see the reverse dynamic of yours, with women in the submissive role and men in the dominant role? Clearly because of socialization. That is how we are raised and socialized in this world — not to say it can’t be reversed, but that is specifically going against the grain. The opposite of these socialized norms is seen as taboo. Thus, we tend to sexualize the taboo. It is not masculine for a male to be weaker than a female. It is not masculine for a male to exhibit sexual behaviors with another male or embody female qualities. It is not ladylike for a female to be the aggressor, to be physical and strong and vocal. My FAVORITE things in kink involve dichotomies. Masculine sissy subs. Feminine amazon muscular women. I love the genderfuck. Does this work make you feel empowered as a woman? Extremely. I’m in such control of my sexuality. Of what I do and do not do. It is extremely empowering to have someone else carry out your commands and requests. When I say ‘no’ it is respected. Sometimes I say no for the fun of it, to see how people react. It goes against my socialization as a woman to be pleasing and well liked. It feels like I’m staging a little protest every time I put my foot down. Some think that sex work is not helpful to gender dynamics but to that I say - if you don’t want women or trans fox to proser from sexual related work then stop fetishizes them and making the demand so high. Female bodies and transgender folx can often charge higher rates than cis-males regardless of their experience because the market value is higher. Does it ever make you feel degraded? Not really, because I’m turning the degradation into a profit. If anyone is sexualizing me, I can either choose to shame them or to not care, which takes the power away from their sexualization. Or I’m directly profiting from it. The reality is, I have always been sexualized since I was young, whether I wore baggy sweaters or bikinis. I grappled with this immense sexuality I possessed, and now I feel like it is more under my control and manipulation. Now, when I am sexualized, I’m making a profit from it. If I choose to sexualize myself, it is for me. In my brand image, I choose not to do anything intended for male pleasure. It may be a byproduct, but it is never the intention. You learn that anything or so many things will get someone off. Knitting a sweater, eating ice cream, or ignoring someone may be enough to do it for someone. So why spend time worrying if what I’m doing may be viewed as sexually appealing to the other gender? Many new clients may assume that because they are paying for my time, they can determine everything that happens in a session—or worse, that they somehow “own” me. But they’re not paying for me, they’re paying for my time. Domming is often like a staring contest, and I’m constantly making my client tow the line in a game of “chicken.” Fear is a common driver, and I like to make my clients the slightest bit uneasy to retain that power. What has being a dominatrix taught you about gender dynamics? Men face societal pressure that creates a sense of fear around not fitting in. Sometimes, this is acted out in aggressive ways (i.e. degrading women to assert their masculinity — to themselves), and other times, it is acted out by sexualizing that fear. Again, the taboo being erotic. I wonder if once gender dynamics are more equal and we’re open about our sexualities, if there will still be as many kinks! So many are built around shame or societal expectations, today’s youth may not have forced bi or sissification fantasies because they’re raised more open to gender and sexual fluidity.   How do you navigate consent when you’re in a situation where you’re potentially physically restraining or hurting someone? Depending on the type of session, we may set up a safe word ahead of time, but I’m actually not a fan of safe words because I think they can be forgotten easily. I discuss as much as possible before the session so I have a good idea of where their boundaries lie. We’ve discussed what they’re lookin g for, what they want. I may ask if certain things I plan on doing are okay with them. During the session itself, I don’t ask “May I…”  but I do check in throughout to make sure they’re tolerating and having fun. My style is to be very physically dominant and stern but ultimately kind — the two playing like multiple sides of my personality. I think it gives a little something extra for me to act like a happy baby when I’m squeezing someone’s head between my thighs. One of my friends calls me “kind but not nice." Especially given how physical my main form of sex work — wrestling — is, I’m very conscious about hurting others. I’ve recently started doing more knockouts (limiting blood flow to the brain, causing the person to temporarily go to “sleep”), which I had avoided due to the risks involved. I don’t go for the jugular (pun intended) immediately but instead ease on and off, giving them room to tap out if necessary. I try to always be able to see their face, as sometimes they can be too proud to tap. What have you learned from your job that you think we could all apply to our sex lives? Haha, I’m great at sniffing out bullshit and time wasters early on. But actually, I see this time and time again. Male doms tend to make the experience all about them, what they want, and their needs. As a dom, you can do that to an extent, but first and foremost, you have to craft it around your sub and their needs. There isn’t one right way to do anything. You don’t have to be mean to be a dom. You don’t have to be strict or scary. The reality is, being a good dom is about listening and being reactive to your submissive. When people try to emulate porn stars, movie stars, and other idols or pursue perfection, they may be missing out on the most important details and moments. With any type of sex work — or sex for that matter — it’s not necessarily about how big your XYZ is. You learn what makes you unique, your differentiators, your selling points, and you learn to play those to your advantage.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Woman's Guide to Masturbation!

Masturbation is an equal-opportunity activity, but women tend to report masturbating less often than men. Unfortunately, many women have been taught that masturbation is shameful, that their genitalia are too unclean to touch, that sex toys will desensitize them, and other harmful myths about masturbation. Many have been taught nothing about masturbation. If you’re fortunate to have received healthier messages about self-pleasure, you may know that masturbation not only is normal but also has lots of benefits, like improving your mood, relieving pain, and teaching you about your body. There’s even some research showing that regular sexual activity, whether alone or with a partner, is good for your health. But even if you know that, you may not have been taught how to masturbate. “A lot of women feel like they're supposed to instinctively know how to masturbate, but that's just not the case,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin, creator of Finishing School, an online course that teaches women how to orgasm. “It takes time to explore your body and figure out what feels good for you.” If you haven’t masturbated before or are new to masturbation, here’s a guide that should help you pick up the habit and become a master in no time. Even if you’ve been masturbating forever, these tips should also help you step up your masturbation game, because there’s always more to learn. Ask yourself why you haven’t masturbatedWhen sex therapist Marissa Nelson, LMFT sees clients who haven’t masturbated, she first wants to explore what negative ideas they may have gotten about masturbation, their bodies, or their sexuality.Some women have been taught that masturbation goes against their family’s values or religion, which they may come to question as they get older. Some have the idea that “only dirty girls do that,” says Nelson, when really, most girls have done it by the time they hit 17. Others are concerned that their partners would object to them expressing their sexuality without them. But in reality, getting to know your body through masturbation only makes you a better sexual partner. “If I can’t even allow myself pleasure when I’m alone, how am I going to ask for what I need and know what I even like?” Nelson points out. “It’s very important for women to understand what has stopped them from doing that — not just from self-pleasure. A lot of women are blocking their own pleasure, period.” It may be helpful to talk to a therapist if you feel like you have emotional blockages to masturbation or sexual pleasure. Get to know your genitals while masturbatingIf you haven’t masturbated, you may not be familiar with your genitals. You may even have some anxiety around their appearance. Unrealistic porn images teach us that only certain types of genitalia are attractive, but all vulvas are unique, and they’re all beautiful in their own way.To get more comfortable with your body, Nelson suggests putting a hand mirror between your legs and looking at your vulva. See how it feels to touch your clitoral hood (the bunch of skin at the top), your clitoris (the nub that you’ll find if you pull back the clitoral hood), your inner labia (the lips around the vaginal opening), your outer labia (the bigger lips surrounding your inner labia), and your vaginal opening (the hole toward the bottom). Try out different kinds of touchOnce you know where everything is and how it feels to touch different parts of your genitals, experiment with different types of touch. Nelson suggests playing with softer and harder pressures or horizontal and vertical strokes on the clitoris. Many women like to be touched in a circular motion around the clitoris, she says. You can also try putting a finger inside your vagina and seeing how that feels. Some women like one finger pressed against the upper wall of the vagina. Some also enjoy the feeling of a finger inside the anus. If you enjoy several of these techniques, you can try combining them — for example, putting two fingers on your clitoris and one in your vagina or anus.You can also play around with your position. Some women, for example, like to be on their stomachs, humping a pillow or their hand. Others like to position their genitals underneath a showerhead or running water in the bathtub. You can even try it with the lights on vs. off or under vs. on top of the covers, says Nelson. There are endless variations. Touch your whole body while masturbatingMasturbation doesn’t have to only involve your genitals, and incorporating other parts of yo ur body can help get you in the mood. “Give yourself a slow start,” says Laurie Mintz, University of Florida psychology professor and author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It. “That is, caress your breasts, nipples, and inner thighs before touching your vulva. Or start off by rubbing your entire vulva slowly and luxuriously, using lubricant. Then very, very slowly move to your clit and inner lips and perhaps your vaginal opening as well.” Leave yourself plenty of time to explore your whole body.  Notice what comes upA big part of experiencing sexual arousal and orgasm is mindfulness, says Nelson. “How am I going to feel good, aroused, and even orgasm if I’m not completely present?” she asks. See what emotions as well as what physical sensations come up for you as you touch different parts of your body in different ways. Take note of what you enjoy so that you can repeat it, as well as what you don’t like. These are all valuable pieces of information to give partners. Set the stage before masturbatingSome people, especially first timers, find it hard to relax and get into the moment when they’re first masturbating. To make it easier, Mintz suggests doing something that relaxes you beforehand. This could mean having a glass of wine, taking a bath, or listening to calming music. It can also help to do something that stimulates you, like exercising, reading an adventure book, or watching an adventure movie. “Research shows that activities that activate the system help increase orgasm,” says Mintz. Tease yourselfBuilding up anticipation will make pleasure and orgasm more intense once you get there. “Move toward a sensitive spot over and over, yet only occasionally touch it,” Mintz suggests. “Tease your clit, or tease the touch­-sensitive nerves near the opening of your vagina— grazing but not going in. Build up intensity by getting close to your sensitive spots and then backing off, over and over, until you finally go in for more intensive touching.” Practice “edging” during masturbationEdging is when you get close to orgasm and then back off to make the eventual climax more intense. The site OMGYes, which asks women about their favorite sexual techniques, has found that there are three main ways women like to edge: take your hand off as you feel you’re about to orgasm, put it back down, then repeat as many times as you’d like; move your touch to a less sensitive part of  your genitals as you’re about to orgasm, move it back, and repeat as many times as you’d like; or continue the touch in the same place but with less pressure, increase the pressure, and repeat as many times as you’d like.“When edging in any of these ways, most women like to lighten their touch,” says Mintz. “No matter how you edge, the goal is to do so until you can’t take it anymore, finally giving in to the touch that will result in an orgasm.” Explore different fantasies while masturbatingWhat’s going on between your ears has a huge influence on what goes on between your legs. Nelson recommends reading erotica or watching porn if you’re not sure what turns you on yet. If you find mainstream porn degrading to women, Mintz suggests using the search term “feminist porn.” You can not only watch or read things that turn you on while you’re masturbating but also re-imagine them when you’re not in front of your computer.Don’t judge what turns you on. Plenty of people have strange fantasies that they don’t wish to enact in real life. Some even fantasize about things that seem to go against their morals. That’s OK — anything goes in the realm of fantasy. “I also encourage my clients to have the freedom to feel pleasure, whatever it is that they're thinking about, to feel like they have a safe space to explore sexually,” says Nelson.An alternative to fantasizing is to practice mindfulness —  that is, focus in on each sensation you feel in every moment, says Mintz. Some people find that making noise can help them get into the moment. Incorporate sex toys and lube while masturbatingMany women find that they orgasm more easily or intensely with vibrators or other sex toys like G-spot massagers. Some of the most powerful vibrators available include the Wands and the Sonja. Lube can also enhance the experience, even if you’re already lubricating naturally, says Nelson. Make pleasure the only goalYou don’t have to orgasm the first few times you masturbate. Instead, just focus on doing what feels good, and forget about any goal. “Some people who haven't masturbated may think there's a certain way they should be doing it or they’re doing it wrong,” says Nelson. “I would encourage them to let go and explore and allow themselves to feel good. Don't worry about ‘I have to orgasm and if I dont I'm doing it wrong.’ No, you’re allowed to see what feels good. You're just there to have fun and also see what works for you, so there's no pressure whatsoever.” Keep experimenting with masturbationLearning how to masturbate is a lifelong process. Even once you’ve figured out what works, there are endless ways to switch up your technique. “Don't get into a rut,” Marin advises. “Once you've learned how to make yourself orgasm, it's easy to get into a routine of using the same technique over and over again. A lot of women approach masturbation like scratching an itch. It's perfectly OK to want to have a fast or easy orgasm, but it's also great to have some masturbation sessions where you take your time and explore other ways of bringing your body pleasure.” Masturbate with a partnerMasturbating in front of your partner is a great way to show them what you like, get warmed up for sex, or just enjoy each other’s bodies. They could even masturbate at the same time as you. “Masturbating with your partner can be incredibly hot,” says Marin. “Plus, it's the best way to teach your partner how to bring you pleasure.”

Blog – by Diskret Life

Adult Party!

At some point in our lives we have either heard about it, wanted to attend or have attended an adult party. As a woman that has been putting together countless of adult parties here in Los Angles I am here to give you some key insights on how to prepare, proper etiquette and over all respecting all members involved in the adult parties. Adult-parties, also known by a variety of other terms such as play parties, swinger parties, and lifestyle parties, are organized sex get-togethers where consenting, paying party-goers engage in sex with other consenting, paying party-goers. Simple, right? I bet you still have a list of things to know before going to an adult party. Consent is Sexy at Adult Parties: Consent is the most important rule in every sex scenario and the same goes for a adult party. Not everybody will be on the same page when it comes to sex, so communication is key. Everybody has boundaries (Always respect all boundaries). The attendees may be interested in exploring their erotic sides, but that doesn't necessarily mean they will have sex with anyone and everyone. It's important to not just touch or grope somebody without asking first. Basic manners and etiquette apply here in the same way that they would in any other scenario when someone approaches someone else to chat them up and don't forget, this means you can refuse as well at any adult party. The word "no"is perfectly acceptable to use in an adult party situation and must always be respected. Adult Party Protection: Although the host of the adult party secures a safe, sane and consensual environment, never solemnly rely on others to keep you and your partner protected. Every adult party has a different set of rules or ways to behave, but it is your responsibility to practice safe sex. It is generally good to get in the habit of bringing your own condoms or dental damns and if allowed, the same goes for your own sex toys. Hygiene is a big deal, so it's also a good plan to bring some antibacterial wipes or gel with you. It is always safer to bring your own material and never to rely on others to care for your personal health and well being.  Personal Care and Appearance at Adult Parties: Practice proper hygienic politeness, your basic shower, mouth wash and hygienic properties all apply here after all you will be in close proximity of peoples personal spaces and other sensual parts. Some adult parties have a theme; Partygoers tend not to be judgmental. Ask the organizer what other people normally wear. You don't need to go overboard with your outfit or rush to your nearest latex store for a rubber suit! The clothes will soon be coming off anyway. Each party has its own set of rules; Some are clear rules of things to know before going to a sex party and others you will pick up along the way. Make sure you do your research and homework before attending. There's also some behavior that you will learn as you go along. If you ever feel uncomfortable and are witnessing acts you feel are not safe, sane and consensual always look for the host/hostess of the parties and voice your concerns. It's also worth remembering that you might leave disappointed. Not every adult party will suit you or meet high expectations, so take it for what it is and put it down to an experience! The points above should give you a good introductory guide to things to know when going to a sex party. Every sex party experience varies and every party-goer is different.

Blog – by Diskret Life

The Pleasure Principle!

When it comes to sex, many of us are people pleasers. The way to building our arousal becomes dependent on our lover’s satisfaction and if our lover isn’t pleased, then we aren’t pleased and it makes for a very difficult sexual situation. However, when our lovers are pleased, that’s when we become the most turned on and the ability to orgasm becomes easier. We aim to please for several reasons: 1) We enjoy the company of our lover(s), 2) It helps us with intimate, emotional and or physical bonding, and 3) It helps build our ego and confidence with our sexual techniques. Overall, it helps us to feel good about ourselves and with the person(s) that we’re with.   There are several ways that you can aim to please someone:  1) Pay attention to what they say to you and implement it into your sexual techniques. 2) Pay attention to what their body is saying to you while you’re implementing the sexual techniques 3) Give feedback in the form of dialogue or moaning that indicates that you are enjoying the pleasure that you’re giving them. Aiming to please is a form of conquering a goal in which you want to achieve, which brings us to the next point of being able to please to aim until orgasm. Pleasing to aim until orgasm is total goal-oriented behavior. It is about pleasing your lover until you are able to get the orgasm that you want them to have. It is also about getting as close to your orgasm as possible (and if you’re turned on enough, coming to orgasm without touching yourself!). When your goal-oriented and persistent, you will get what you want, provided that you make the right moves at the right moment and with the right attitude. Overall, pleasing to aim requires persistence, erotic acuity and sexual intelligence. Having all these things will help you achieve the prowess that you need to please your lovers and please yourself!

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to Use a Vibrator!

Have you ever wondered exactly how to use a vibrator for the most pleasure? It’s come to our attention through research and testimonies most women are using their vibrator completely wrong! After reading through this guide of tips and examples for the next time you pull out your trusty vibrator, you will have a mind-blowing experience.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Full Body Orgasms!

Can woman really reach the ever so elusive, squirting full body orgasm? Many women and men think squirting is but a myth or urine. The fact of the matter is – all women can squirt. But like full body orgasming, it’s a learned act that takes time and exploration to acquire. Once a woman learns how to do it, she’ll be able to repeat it for years. Now ready to learn how? Ladies and gentlemen, get out those pens and take notes. Preparations for Full Body Orgasm Before you can make any woman squirt or have a full body orgasm, you need to make sure she’s ready. Open honest communication works best perhaps telling her that you are planning a romantic night catered to her desires. Be confident with your approach and delivery, all woman love confidence. The bed, set towels down or water proof sheets (yes, they do exist). Squirting and full body orgasms are an all or nothing affair. She’ll either explode fluids, or nothing will come out. There’s no middleman. Foreplay Required for Full Body Orgasm Foreplay is necessary to warm any woman up, and the most critical step to any full body orgasm. With regards to squirting, I strongly suggest you do foreplay for a longer period than you usually do. Take your time to remove her clothes, and give her body plenty of love with your hands and mouth. Foreplay should last at least 30 minutes. Penetration for Full Body Orgasm At this point you need to decide if you’re going to make her squirt with your hand, a sex toy, or your penis. No matter what device you use, the technique is the same. However, you want to commit to one choice before you start having sex. Start by inserting your fingers into her vagina…find the G-Spot. This is accomplished by finding the rough patch on the upper side of the vagina. Once you’ve located the target, give her the “come hither” movement by pulling your fingers towards you to stimulate the G-Spot. Rub this for a few minutes, and the action should start preparing the squirting process along with a full body orgasm. By this point, she should be responding well to this and giving you hints that you are getting closer to the mission at hand. The big differentiator between a regular orgasm and a squirting orgasm is simple – when she’s ready to squirt, she’ll feel like she has to pee. If she feels like this, tell her it’s ok and keep going. When she feels like she has to pee, and she’s close to full body orgasm ready…   Pull Out for Full Body Orgasm Gentlemen you heard me right. Pull out. She can’t squirt if you’re inside of her blocking the passage of fluids. Pull out, and if she hasn’t full body orgasmed yet, begin clitoral stimulation. This will drive her over the edge of full body orgasm, if she isn’t there already. Continue stimulating her citreous, and if she doesn’t orgasm, go back to the G-Spot and repeat the cycle. That’s it! I don’t have to tell you what it’ll be like when she has a full body orgasm. You’ll know. What if she can’t squirt? Even if you’ve read this entire article, and applied every single tactic shared, it’s possible that your girl can’t reach that orgasm. I highly suggest you take the time to talk about why. Do not get discouraged or disappointed, sometimes the human body and mind just require more time for stimulation and/ or introducing new sensations. The trick is to continue discovering and playing with your lover’s body until you feel they have reached that incredible full body orgasm.

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to Eat a Girl Out!

Maybe you want to know how to eat a girl out for the first time, or perhaps you’ve done it hundreds of times and wondering if you’re approaching it the right way. Most guys and women are always searching for that better sexual experience, whether it be through trying new and exciting things, or through mastering sexual techniques such as how to eat a girl out. We have put together a lot of research from women who get oral sex performed on them regularly and bundled their testimonies into an easy-to-follow guide. We also consulted some of the top sexologist in the field to validate the testimonies. These tips are from real women, straight & lesbian; this is your complete guide on how to eat a girl out. How to Eat a Girl Out 101: There are some very basic things when understanding how to eat a girl out, somethings might seem like common sense. Believe us, they get missed ALL THE TIME! So next time you go down on a girl remember these very basic tips to start off on the right page. Once you miss a step or two, you might have already spoiled the whole sexual experience! Let her know you want to go down on her: Seems confusing to have to tell her you get pleasure from it too. But let her know how long you’ve been thinking of doing this, how bad you want to do it. The fact you get pleasure from pleasing her will be a big turn on for her. In today’s societies women are so frequently body shamed and held to such a high standard. Tell her how sexy you find her, tell her how bad you want to kiss every inch of her body and then give her that pleasure! Remind her how good she looks, smells, and tastes. This will ultimately allow her to relax and fully enjoy the sexual experience. Don’t Assume anything… Communicate! Whether you’re a woman or man, if you’re sleeping with a woman for the first time, you don’t know exactly what she wants. Even if you’re a woman, don’t fall into the trap of thinking every woman likes the same thing. Just because you like long slow licking doesn’t mean she will to. If you want to know how to eat a girl out, you must start basic and simply ask if she prefers “this” or “that”. Sometimes you can tell by body language if she is enjoying it or not such as moaning, orgasming, or a pull of your hair to direct you elsewhere. Never shy away from a simple, “how do you like that?” “Do you want it this way or that way?” Also pay attention to your speed. Start slow and rhythmic and build in speed and pressure over time. If you start to fast and furious she may feel pressured to orgasm quickly, when that is not the intended goal in this case. Slow down… Understanding how to eat a girl out.  When understanding how to eat a girl out, you must first learn to slow it way down… According to Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, creator of the Drive Her Wild With Pleasure, the first thing to keep in mind when eating a girl out is slow it down! An orgasm is a slow build in sexual anticipation and pleasure, not a race. “However fast you think is a good pace… cut it in half… then cut that in half again. Trust me!” How to eat a girl out by building anticipation. When things start heating up and you know you want to go down on her, this will most likely be a big turn on for yourself as well. When you get turned on you might be tempted to rush to the finale. But don’t sell yourself short, hold off know matter how hard it might be. Start slow and ramp the heat up will ultimately lead to the most pleasure. Build anticipation by touching, caressing, kissing, licking and breathing all over her body in a slow and controlled pace. Make her wait until she can’t stand it one more second! Then start licking the sweet spots…   The Technique Involved in How to Eat A Girl Out: We talked about building the anticipation, to slow the pace down, and use communication when learning how to eat a girl out. But what about the actual process? What’s the best way to eat a girl out?! Here are some techniques to use when going down on her for her ultimate pleasure and orgasmic release!   How to eat a girl out with using your breath: Most of us overlook one of the best weapons in our sexual arsenal; using our breath while eating a girl out. If you find this strange, you’re not alone. But using your breath can build sexual anticipation like crazy. “By exhaling slowly to release warm air from deep in your chest or purse your lips and breath gently to release cool air.” Use this temperature play to drive her wild. You can even lick a long wide path over her vagina and then breath warm air slowly over the top of it.   How to eat a girl out with circular motion: When you build up the anticipation to a max with your breath and foreplay, don’t disappoint with poor clitoral technique. Use slow circular motions with your tongue along the edges of the vagina then get closer and closer to the clitoris. Once over the top, don’t press it with your tongue, but slow circular motions around it to tease it before pressing your flat, wide tongue against it gently to allow the pressure to build up. How to eat a girl out with pulse motion: When she climaxes, she will experience pleasurable contractions that stem from the pelvic area all the way to her clitoris. Give them a helping hand by pressing a wide flat surface against the length of her vulva or the head of her clitoris and pulse gently. You can use your tongue, hand, or vibrating sex toy to achieve this.   How to eat a girl out with clitoral concentration: The vast majority of women require some form of clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. S ome women like direct contact while others enjoy side stimulation. You can simply ask which way she prefers it or start with a wide circular motion around the clitoris without actually touching it. Then slowly work your way in until your doing small tight circles on top of the clitoris head. See what she responds best to. But again, take your time and make it last! You can experiment with a flat wide tongue, or the pointy tip of your tongue. You can do long strokes from top to bottom, or from one side to the other. Some women really enjoy sucking motion on the clitoris. So pulse suck, in and out, slowly over the clit. How to eat a girl out; Break Time: Yea I said it… break time! Guess what, when your going down on a girl for an extended amount of time you will require a break. After building the anticipation and slowly building the pleasure… there may be a time your neck, tongue, lungs, or back need a break from the position and licking. That is where your hands come into play! Don’t be afraid to use your hands; fingering her vagina, while your licking the clit. Or simply back out for a minute and let your hands do all the stroking. A lot of women like the combination of clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration. The orgasms are a “blended orgasm” and feel much more intense than from a single source. You can move your hand in and out or use the “come here” motion with your fingers on her G-spot. You can also use your fingers to trace the folds of her labia, there are tons of sensitive nerves in these areas. How to eat a girl out with consistence: A lot of people make oral sex too complicated. When in reality a couple simple techniques are all you really need. Don’t go flying through these techniques trying to jam them all into one session. Rather, slow controlled strokes, rhythmic in pace and consistent is what will build the pleasure to an orgasm. “Most women require consistency, not tongue gymnastics to reach orgasm.” Once you receive body language from her that she enjoys a technique, stick with it! How to eat a girl out when she starts to cum:  Once she starts to cum, don’t stop and pat yourself on the back. You’re not done yet! Once she starts to cum, keep going! Unless she specifically tells you to stop once she is done. Otherwise, hold her hips in place and continue to swirl your tongue around her vulva while fingering her. If you have ever heard a girl say she “came hard” it is most likely due to this reason. Keep it going for ultimate pleasure. Use a sex toy while going down on her:           Want to hit “expert level” on knowing how to eat a girl out? Once you have developed the basics with your partner, start to experiment with more. One of the best ways to do that is with a great lube and an amazing vibrator. Not only can you use a vibrator for penetration while you use your tongue on the clitoris. But you can also swap that and use the vibrator on her clitoris. They even make a vibrator special designed to stimulate oral sex found here. Keep in mind you want a lube that is eatable and works with a silicone sex toy. In that case it needs to be a water-based lube. It is highly unlikely you would be having oral sex in the water such as a hot tub or bath tub, in which case the oil-based lubes work better. Remember communication is key, a vibrator while using your hands, and tongue in other locations can simply overwhelm a girl. You should start basic and slowly work your way up in stimulation. Check in with her if you’re not sure if it is to overwhelming having so much going on at once. If you start slow most women will appreciate the blended orgasm these multi-stimulation techniques can bring. How to eat a girl out conclusion: In the end, remember to start basic. Most women really appreciate the fact you can go slow and take your time. Build the sexual anticipation over time, while teasing and kissing. Then get the hands involved and even a sex toy. Communicate constantly at least the first time, then you will know what she wants every time. Give some of the techniques listed above a try, you don’t have to use them all at once but if one works and the next is a strike-out, just back to what you know works best with her. Don’t over think it, the idea is to bring you both pleasure and if its not working… stop, and just try the next thing!

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to have a Quickie!

You've seen it in movies over and over again. The couple, wild about one another, can't keep their hands off one another, and they end up having sex in a relatively public and risky location. Maybe you've even experienced it for yourself. The two of you flirt all night, and you can barely wait to make it back to your hotel room in order to tear the clothing off of each other. No matter how you've been introduced to the idea of quick sex, you're here because you want to learn how to have a quickie in public. You want the hot and risky sex, but you also don't want to get in trouble - and that's a fine line to walk. Luckily for everyone, learning how to have a quickie in public isn't all that hard. It's a matter of knowing what's going on and doing a bit of planning ahead. Using some of these step-by-step tips on how to have a quickie, you should find yourself fully ready to experience the intensity as soon as you want to. How to Have a Quickie “Plan Ahead”: I know, I know. When you're thinking about how to have a quickie, the idea of planning is supposed to be the furthest thing from your mind. It's supposed to be about passionate, gotta-have-it-now sex that you can't resist. But at the same time, planning ahead about how to have a quickie is how to make the experience run smoothly. If you don't plan ahead, you're at a much higher risk of getting caught - or just having a miserable experience because the "reality" was nothing like the fantasy. After all, if you're into the idea of having some hot, passionate sex in the alleyway behind your favorite bar, it might be a pretty miserable experience when it's nearly impossible to remove your leggings, the ground is disgusting and you don't want to touch it, and you both find out that it's painful penetration because you just didn't have enough foreplay or lube to really get warmed up. That's not fun for anyone. Planning ahead doesn't have to be boring and organizational. Instead, make it sexy. Instead of just jotting down possible locations on a list, fantasize about each location. How would you have sex there? Would you be bent over? What props in the nearby area could the two of you use? When you think about clothes, think about how they'll get pulled to the side. Think about how you'll see that mini-skirt in your closet in the future and be constantly reminded of that time behind the bar. Don't just add to a list: let each mark on the list become a point of fantasy for you. By the time you've finished planning on how to have a quickie, you'll be just as excited as when you have the quickie itself! That's definitely part of the fun, so don't let the idea of "planning" drag you down. How to Have a Quickie “Know Your Location”: This is something that will require you to head out and about to your favorite places - and the places where you think it'd be likely that you want to have a quickie. When thinking about how to have a quickie, you need to pick areas where you're likely to want to have a quickie. Scouting out a grocery store could be u seful, but if you don't usually feel turned on or flirtatious at the nearby store, that might not be a particularly useful location. Instead, pick to locations you'd likely be nearby when feeling turned on and flirty. Think about bars, hotel rooms, parks, alleyways, and similar areas. Once you've picked out the specific area, when trying to figure out how to have a quickie, you need to nitpick the area. Is it clean? What sex positions can you get into? How likely are you to run into anyone else? Are there any nearby props where you could bend over or prop yourself up? Will the temperature be comfortable during the day or night when you're going to be enjoying your quickie? Are there any sharp corners or objects the two of you could "hide" behind for an extra level of safety when enjoying your quickie? Let's think about your nearby hotel for an example of how to have a quickie in public. You might scout the hotel and find that there's an empty hallway at the far corner of the conference center. You'd guess that, around midnight when there isn't a conference, there won't be many people around. You check for security cameras. You see that the staff tends to store excess tables in this area - perfect for hiding behind when the two of you enjoy yourselves. Since it's indoors, the two of you aren't too worried about temperature. The hallway is only a short walk from the regular hallway of the hotel, so you know you have an easy escape plan - and you think you can sheepishly explain away that the two of you were "making out" if you happen to be discovered. For an added level of security, you might check under the table skirts and find that there's enough room for sex under the tables. You might think about doing that instead if you want to try a laying-down sex position. How to have a Quickie “Think about Your Clothes”: Part of how to have a quickie is well, making it quick. Clothing can make or break that quickness. If someone is wearing tight jeans that can't easily be pulled to the side without taking them entirely off, you might have a problem doing things discreetly and quickly. If you're dressed in so many layers that you can't even manage penetration because of clothing, that also might be a problem when you're trying to learn how to have a quickie. Instead, choose light clothing that can easily be pulled aside or removed. For male-dressing individuals, that may include looser jeans or sweatpants. You might consider going without underwear or choosing underwear you can easily pull out your penis from. Remember to think about the zippers on any potential clothing. Quickie sex is hot, but getting pinched from the zippers during sex is definitely not! For female-dressing individuals, you'll likely want to choose dresses or skirts. You may choose to go without underwear, or you might prefer a thong or other easily-moved-to-the-side panties. This is probably not the best night to go with your favorite bodysuit or shapewear. If wearing pantyhose or other items, you might prefer to go with a crotchless design. Keep in mind that quickie sex can involve less time to be gentle, so it's worth choosing your worn out pairs of hose instead of your favorites. Have a "Quickie Kit": Having a great quickie depends on having all of the right supplies. Your "Quickie Kit" will make sure that's the case. It's no fun to make it all the way to penetration - only to find out that you're missing the condom for safe sex. And before sex, the idea of walking around with wetness between your legs the rest of the night sounded hot, but after sex? Well, you wish you had some wet wipes to clean up after your sexual encounter. The "Quickie Kit" is your answer to preparing for how to have a quickie. In a small bag, you'll want to pack some necessary items. I recommend at least two condoms, a bottle of water-based lubricant that plays nicely with both your bodies, a sandwich baggie for garbage disposal, and a package of travel-friendly wet wipes to clean up after your escapade. Depending on the foreplay you have in mind, you might want to consider an extra pair of panties as well. All of these items fit into a small cosmetic case - and can be safely tucked into a backpack or purse on any night that you think you might be exploring how to have a quickie. Now you know tonight's the night. You've been doing all of your reading about how to have a quickie, and you've spent all of that time fantasizing and planning about how sexy and hot this is going to be. All the planning of how to have a quickie is out of the way. Now it's time to actually enjoy all that planning. Here are some simple suggestions to help make experiencing that quickie even better. How to have a Quickie “Know What Arouses You”: The night of your intended quickie, you both should stay focused on doing things that arouse you. If you know that grocery shopping is stressful and nonsexual, do it another day. If you both know that having a few beers and flirting over the bartop turns you on, do that instead. You might consider playing with some vibrators in public or just flirting with each other over the idea of what you're going to do in a few hours. I know that you spent quite a bit of time planning how to have your quickie, but in order for your quickie to seem like authentic and passionate public sex, you'll want to spend quite a bit of time focusing on arousing the two of you to the point of "no return". Sure, you’re planned this, but it doesn't mean that it needs to feel like it's been planned out! How to have a Quickie “Enjoy the Foreplay”: Like I previously mentioned, your focus should be on arousing one another and feeling highly turned on and aroused long before you even approach the idea of having penetrative sex! That means enjoying the foreplay - and sneaking some foreplay in public. Can you touch each other under the dinner table? Is there space for an impromptu make-out session by the bathrooms? Can you grind against one another on the dance floor? Can you gently run a hand between their legs as the two of you hug? There are lots of different ways to try to work in foreplay in a public space, and since the two of you will only have a little bit of time to do the actual penetration, it's really beneficial to get as turned on as possible now. How to have a Quickie “Be Turned On and Use Lube”: As I've mentioned before, being really turned on before you even make it to the penetrative sex is extremely important in how to have a quickie in public. You'll probably have less than five minutes to achieve the actual penetration and orgasm. For some people, that's not even long enough to get off! However, you'll up your chances of success if you can be as aroused as possible before you start. Don't forget to use lubricant too. Some people might be able to get slick enough for penetration without any physical stimulation, but some people may not. There's no reason to make penetration uncomfortable, so use a bit of the lubricant from that quickie kit! How to have a Quickie “Remember the Experience”: There's no point in having super hot quickie sex if you aren't going to savor it for awhile. If you're going out every night to have risky sex somewhere without savoring the experience or planning ahead, you're bound to get caught in a bad way - and that's not going to be fun. Instead, after reading how to have a quickie tips, don't expect to have your quickie often. Instead, savor the experience and let the memories of an evening of hot sex tide you over until the next time the two of you are ready to play in public again.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Sex In a Pool!

If you’ve ever dreamed about underwater sex… you’re not alone! Sex in a pool, hot tub, ocean, bathtub, river, lake… you name it, people have done it there! But what’s so intriguing about having sex in a pool? What are the risks involved in underwater sex? How should I go about underwater sex in a safe and pleasurable way? We can answer all your questions in this ultimate guide on “having sex in a pool”. If it’s on your bucket list to have sex in a pool, join the club. In the U.S. alone, 24,000 people search how to have sex in a pool each month! Hard to imagine there are that many clean pools out there left? There is some risk involved in it, and here is exactly what to do before, during, and after taking on this adventurous sexcapaid!   Having sex in a pool: 101             When summertime roles around, its hard not to imagine having adventurous sex in a pool. When it’s hot out, and everyone is already half naked, it makes sense people want to have sex in a nice cool and comfortable place like the pool. While pool sex is refreshing and fun, from a physical standpoint, it is not the safest way to get down. I really don’t mean to rain on your parade and ruin your plans of crazy pool sex this weekend, but you should be well aware of the risks before taking on any sexual endeavors. Here are some risks involved when having sex in a pool:   Sex in a pool can adjust your vagina pH balance: If you want a happy and healthy vagina, the pH balance is critical. In the same way specific acidic lubes can likely lead to infections, sex in a pool can throw off the balance in your vaginal pH. If you are prone to UTI, bacterial, or yeast infections you might want to stick to just foreplay in the pool and leave the actual sex in a pool out of it. The chlorinated water in pools can leave you venerable to these symptoms due to the pH imbalance. Sex in a pool can increase your chances of a STI: Yes, there are water-based lubricants that work great, but water by itself is not a lubricant. Water by itself can act as anti-lubricant and cause micro tears in the vaginal skin. This can lead to increase risk of STD. The water in a chlorinated pool is not the traditional environment that your vagina is used to. Which is why this is really not the safest manner for penetrative sex.   Sex in a pool does not mean you can’t get pregnant: For some odd reason, maybe due to the environment, a lot of people think you can not get pregnant if you have sex in a pool. While the pool does not increase your fertility, it does not decrease your likely hood of conception by any degree. You should still always use a condom for unwanted pregnancy. You should still pee after sex in a pool: A lot of women believe if you just had sex in a pool with chlorinated water, there is no reason to have to pee after. However, it is quite the opposite. If you just had sex in a pool it is more important to pee because your chances of UTI are increased by the water. So get yourself out of the pool and into the bathroom ASAP when done.    Tips for having sex in a pool:   Now that you know the risks involved with having sex in a pool, what are some tips for staying safer if I still want to give it a go? “Underwater sex can feel adventurous and a great way to mix things up.” In a lake or ocean, there is an element of risk in getting caught that can spice it up as well! Don’t have sex in a pool without Lube: As we stated earlier, water is not a lubricant. It can actually reduce your body’s natural lubrication and make sex less enjoyable. This is due to your body’s natural fluids being washed away. It would be best to use a silicone lube in water since it will not wash away as easily.             Sex in a pool will require some unique positions: In the water, the most basic sex positions like missionary position, cowgirl, doggy style…i.e. are not going to work. You will have to get a little creative at this point. The standing positions will have to due unless you pull out a big floatie. If only one individual is on the floatie you can always opt for oral sex too! Keep in mind the physical limitations while having sex in a pool: No matter how you stand to have sex in a pool there is always a “slip” factor. Not only can this totally kill the buzz it can cause injury. If you are very concerned with it, you can get a non-slip mat, otherwise just be aware of your footing and make sure you are near something you can catch yourself on if you slip. Save the rough and crazy sex for dry land, the water adds enough crazy factor as is. If you are in a hot tub, make sure your plenty hydrated and not overheating. You should only be in hot tubs 15-30 mins depending on the temperature. Having sex in public is illegal: I know, I know… total buzz kill again. I didn’t make the rules believe me! But be aware, if you’re not in the privacy of your own backyard, don’t forget that you could get in trouble for having sex in public. While the fear of getting caught might be half the fun, in most states, public sex is illegal. So, if you’re not willing to take the risk, the tub or shower is a great place to start your underwater sex adventure. Having foreplay in the pool: With all the criminal risk and physical risks involved sometimes it is best just to have foreplay in the pool. Heat things up with touching, kissing, and grabbing underwater then move to dry land to finish each other off. Don’t forget to bring a sex toy for extra foreplay in the pool. Again, probably want a private pool before whipping out a sex toy. Bring a sex toy to your underwater sex party: If you are really feeling adventurous you can always bring a sex toy in the water (if it’s a waterproof sex toy). The vibration underwater can really bring unique stimulation to the clitoris. This external stimulation will excite her along with not much risk of health concerns since it is not penetrative sex. A lot of sex toys can be conspicuous in size, shape, and color. This can make it easy to hide in your suit until your in the water or just carry it out into the water, most people will not know what it is, or think it’s a water toy of some sort. Whatever the case might be, just give yourself plenty of personal space before turning it on. You could even bring a cock ring in the water but use it as a vibrator on her since it is made for female external vibration anyway! Top sex toys for sex in a pool:   ORA 2 The ORA 2 by Lelo is an amazing sex toy for the pool. It is made for clitoral stimulation. Its waterproof and rechargeable with a charge that will last for hours. It was built for the sole purpose of simulating the use of a tongue just like oral sex. Plus it is small in size to allow for easy carry out to the ocean or lake in front of people. Mimi Soft The Mimi Soft is waterproof, rechargeable, and made from extremely soft and delicate silicone. It is still durable enough to hold up underwater and can bring great vibration for external genital stimulation. It will never be noticed as a sex toy by most since it is small and has an egg shape to it.   Yoni Egg  The Yoni Egg and most Ben-Wa-Balls would be great for the pool. It is tucked up inside of her so water will stay out of the vaginal cavity. Beyond that, ben-wa-balls are amazing in a rhythm rocking motion. The are designed for use in rocking chairs to slowly increase pleasure until orgasm. So imagine floating in the ocean on the rolling waves, totally relaxed, with just the rhythm and rock of the ocean. Talk about a unique and incredible sex experience!   Sex in a pool wrap up: Now that you know the risks involved of penetrative sex in a pool we have given you some unique alternatives to this. Such as sticking to foreplay in the pool, enjoying external stimulation with a sex toy, or using ben-wa-balls. If you still must engage in penetrative sex underwater, remember to use a silicone-based lube, pee once your done, and a condom is still necessary. So the next time things really start to heat up in the water, utilize these simple tips to keep things cool, refreshing, and of course pleasurable!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Dominant vs. Submissive!

Walking on the wild side isn’t just a song it’s a way to ignite a desire in your relationship, now your partner has asked you to take part in a Dominant-submissive role in the bedroom (lucky you). There is nothing more exciting than having your partner wanting to continue sexual exploration now while a part of you is elated, a part of you is overwhelmed by the concept. Never fear, but don’t be scared go into play with an open mind. Okay so let’s break things down for you, most of a Dominant's role is merely vocalizing what they want the submissive to do.  Dominant’s here is the situation do not ask, but instead demand. Command your submissive in a clear and explicit manner, making sure there is no misunderstands as to what you want. Remember, the submissive’s job is to please you. An excellent movie to watch for further references is “The Secretary” pay close attention to parts in the film where Mr. Grey asks for no errors to be made in his paperwork, he keeps it direct. Ladies and gentlemen also, understand that submissive partners don't have to act submissive to be one. Submissive’s can prefer having someone else make the decisions for them about how intimacy is going to be played out. Dominant  vs. Submissive: So let’s break down each subcategory what is a Dominant/Sir/ Mistress/Top? A dominant is a partner who takes the role of giver or controller in all acts of BDSM play performed on a submissive. Many Dominants will incorporate all aspects of being a Top but this is not universal. While a Dominant will take care of their submissive, they will be giving orders or otherwise employ physical or psychological techniques of control. they might instruct the submissive to perform the act on them. A Dominant might be a sadist but is unlikely to be a masochist.   Submissive: Now let’s explore submission, so what is submission or being submissive? Submission is when your partner voluntary and consensually aggress to allow the Dominate complete control over their body’s and sometimes their minds. Submission is wanting to or being willing to submit to orders or wishes of another. Showing an inclination in this way. An overriding desire to be pleasing. Willingly submitting without resistance to authority. Being subservient or servile. Enjoying erotic activities in feeling powerlessness or under the control of another. As a submissive, you can always and should always say NO to any play that is making you uncomfortable during play (utilize your safe word). Voice your Dominance: When giving commands to your submissive, you will want to pay close attention to the tone you use (A submissive is someone who's into it for the joy of submission, not just someone who likes being dominated in bed, the primary desire is to please the D-type.) A command given in a weak tone will only result in a multitude of giggles. If you are telling your submissive to drop to their knees, it must be said with authority and conviction. Bear in mind that you do not have to shout commands. You are not a drill sergeant. Being able to whisper a command with real authority is the goal. After all, if you were asked to take part in a Dominant role, it's the dominance your partner wants. Let your inner alpha out. Giving commands may vary depending on the form of "play" you intend to have. The more "sensual" BDSM comes with lighter tones informing your submissive they are there to please you first. This is an excellent way to practice tone with your submissive. When you are ready for rougher BDSM a heavier tone with ridged commands is more fitting. Remember, there is no need to shout, just be assertive. Once the tone has been established making your place known is critical. To do this, you must determine what your submissive is to call you. “Master/Mistress” and "Sir/Miss” are the more common. Then it is time to choose how you will address your submissive. "Submissive" tends to be quite popular, however, more unique names are best “pet, little, pup, boy etc.  Be nontraditional, and utilize words that come naturally to you and your partner. With your tone under control and your Dominant-submissive titles in place, you will both need to determine safe zones and safe words. These will be used by the submissive to let the Dominant know whether it is okay to move forward or it is time to stop. It is essential to keep the chosen words simple and easily remembered by both parties while in the thralls of passion. For example, you can utilize colors such as "blue" to say it is okay to intensify and "red" to indicate that he/she needs to back away from that play.   Dominant Safety: As a Dominant, the number one rule above all others is to stop immediately when the submissive says "NO." You are to proceed no further if this word is said. If you are practicing bondage at the time, untie the submissive at once. This could be an indication of a malfunctioning knot or circulation being cut off. For the safety of your submissive, always adhere to the word "NO" without question. The next important thing, do not rush into inflicting "pain." Begin slowly, then increase the verbosity. For example, light smacks or spankings either via hand or tool, such as a paddle. Always maintain communication with your submissive by asking "Do you like this/that?" or "Is this/that good?" and "Do you want more?" Here is an excellent time to practice the use of safe zones and to hone your communication skills. For example, blue for more, red for less. If you have a submissive that is a pain slut here is a list of play sessions, you can explore: Corporal punishment: Corporal punishment can include slapping, whipping, beating, and spanking a partner with their consent. Although this may sound ghastly to some who are unfamiliar with the community, enduring corporal punishment may help the submissive experience a release and pleasure. In the BDSM community/Lifestyle, masochists who enjoy pain may derive extreme pleasure from corporal punishment. Another reason that others may enjoy corporal punishment is that many people find sexual stimulation and heightened pleasure from pain. Corporal punishment is bodily harm and pain inflicted on a partner in a BDSM relationship. Heavy consent must be ensured between the two parties to create a safe environment. When done under the right circumstances, this practice can be pleasurable for both parties. Always Practice Safe, Sane & Consensual, SSC, RACK & PRICK awareness. Medical Play:  The Doctor is in and ready to give you a check-up, or maybe you want to be a nurse and check on your patient. So what exactly is medical play? This is another form of role play where you can utilize clinical objects to fulfill a fantasy such as respiratory therapy, gynecological exams, urological exams, rectal temperatures, enemas, injections and so much more. The lust for this fetish are the medical exam tables, the initial medical exam, restraining the patient onto the bed rendering them helpless to doctor’s exams and or orders. I would highly recommend first-time players not to play with needles and or any devices that could harm or cause death to your partner, play with extreme caution. Religious Play:  How about a day of sin and redemption?  Have you ever fantasized about having sex in your local church? Well here is your chance to role-play this fantasy out, bring out your priest and nun costumes and turn on the heat. During this type of  play you can have your submissive confess all their sins and as punishment, you can spank, flog, cane and paddle your submissive into complete forgiveness bliss. Although it can be similar to corporal punishment the difference in this play is the religious undertones in which you and your partner chose to enjoy. Turning up the Heat: If you're ready to take things up a notch, then make it clear you intend to go harder to prepare your submissive. If you find you are ready for intense spanking and or punishment, tell you're submissive so; “I’m going to spank you now” for example. Give the submissive a moment to mull it over so they can indicate that they too are prepared to move further. This aids in keeping you both on the same page. All acts of play must be consensual and have been discussed before any form of play is initiated (there should be very limiting surprises.) As mentioned before, communication is key to a successful BDSM encounter. Always remember to praise your submissive for their obedience and a job well done. A simple "well done" or "good girl" goes a long way with someone whose soul purpose is to please you. Aftercare: Now let’s talk about aftercare, so after your submissive/lover has gifted you with their total trust in allowing you to have heavy impact play on their body, yes even a spank can trigger someone to go into suppressed emotions and or feelings. As the Dominant, it’s your role and responsibility to provide them with some time to recover. I highly suggest an embrace so that you both can feel close, followed by a massage. Have a first aid kit ready as to perhaps add ointment to any wounds, Neosporin, band-aids and perhaps some Tylenol to lessen the pain. Have a blanket, water or juice ready to level out the high adrenaline from the body. Lastly, give each other time to really attend to the heighten emotions play can bring. Now about Science, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests that BDSM practitioners may have less anxiety and enjoy more security in their relationships than their vanilla counterparts. Researchers surveyed 902 BDSM practitioners and 434 non-participants and found that those who enjoyed BDSM-related activities had shared certain psychological characteristics, like being "less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious and less rejection-sensitive" than the control (or vanilla) group. In short practicing, some kinky play into your sex lives will make you a lot less stressed. Thank you to the good doctors of medicine for debunking that diving deep into our sexuality fetish side is not a deviant act and or for those that have physiological distress. For a Dominant-submissive relationship:  You must be willing to push and explore. Do your research and choose an activity, position, or tool beyond what you think is reasonable. See how your partner responds. You may be surprised. It's these surprises that help form a connection between you and your submissive. Teaching your partner exactly how to please you and learning how to please them is one of the most rewarding aspects, one that will carry over into other areas of your relationship.

Blog – by Diskret Life

What the KINK!

BDSM first gained mainstream momentum in the 1940s and with the current cultural rise of movies, music videos, books and latex and leather as staple stamps as fashion phenomenon lets explore BDSM. As an acronym that stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism, here are its most common myths, debunked.  1) It's a rare phenomenon A recent study recently found that 57% of people have engaged in some form of bondage or blindfolding. 2) And a new fad BDSM first gained mainstream momentum in the 1940s, with the popularization of pin-up girls and fetish magazines, as well as the birth of the leather subculture in the gay community after World War Two. 3) It is defined by sadistic and masochistic acts There is a distinction between BDSM and sexual sadism and masochism, which involve actual physical or psychological suffering to one’s partner or oneself, respectively. BDSM, on the other hand, involves only the role-playing of such acts, with a heavy concern for safety and the prevention of harm. 4) The dominant partner is the one in control BDSM usually consists of a Dominant (“Dom” or “top”) partner and a submissive (“sub” or “bottom”) one. Although the Dominant would appear to be the one running the show, it is actually Doms that perform to please their subs. Hence, subs are often nicknamed “bossy bottoms”. 5) Partners are either dominant or submissive Many in the community identify as being a “switch,” which means they are open to taking on either the dominant or submissive role, depending on their mood or their partner’s preference. 6) A person who is dominant or submissive in real life will prefer a similar role in BDSM If you are naturally a leader, you might take the role of the Dominate in the relationship however this is not necessarily true to core. People who are dominant in real life will take on a submissive role in the bedroom, and vice versa. 7) BDSM is about whips and chains Like vanilla—or non-kinky—sex, individual preferences vary, from the somewhat tame use of silk  scarves and blindfolds, to more extreme pursuits, such as needle play (which involves piercing the body with hypodermic needles), erotic electro-stimulation (which is exactly what it sounds like), and sounding (inserting objects vertically into the male urethra). 8) BDSM is spontaneous and violent Mutual consent, trust, and negotiation are hallmarks of the BDSM lifestyle. Most will meet potential partners before “playing together” to discuss personal boundaries, any health conditions they might have, and safe words, to ensure that a “scene” (or sexual encounter) will be both sexually fulfilling and safe. Any use of control or infliction of pain is within the context of fantasy, including the role-playing of nonconsensual sex. 9) It always involves some form of sexual contact Orgasm during a scene is not always necessary for sexual gratification. For example, one man I spoke with enjoyed being humiliated by being whipped by his partner and told repeatedly that he had a small penis. “Sex” for him did not involve any physical contact with her. Gratification would arrive in the form of going home after the scene ended to masturbate while replaying these events in his mind. 10) The BDSM community revolves only around sex Like any community, those practicing BDSM also enjoy embarking on non-sexual activities. “Munches” are informal events, usually held in restaurants, for the purposes of socializing. Some will also hold information workshops (such as, “Rope Tying for Beginners”) to help educate others in the community. 11) BDSM involves the use of fancy tools and expensive equipment The impressive set-ups seen in professional BDSM porn is not representative of what most BDSM practitioners have in their collection at home. In fact, many acquire their essential items at hardware and kitchen supply stores. In addition to finding ropes and chains, one can use plastic curtain rods for caning, wooden cooking utensils as paddles for spanking, and clothespins as makeshift nipple clamps. 12) People who take part in BDSM are psychologically maladjusted In fact, they have been shown to score higher than vanilla folk on several positive psychological characteristics, including subjective well-being. 13) You can tell if someone is part of the lifestyle based on what they look like Contrary to what you might expect, those who partake in BDSM are usually successful professionals  who are educated, work full-time jobs, and have families. Some will wear jewelry emblematic of locks, keys, and dog collars to show that they identify with the community; most others look like the average person you’d see on the street. So there you have it, your first real introduction to the ever so delicious and misunderstood world of KINK from a true BDSM lifestyle Goddess. Fetishism gets a bad rep, but any consenting sexual behavior is a perfectly healthy and beautiful aspect of sexuality. In fact, it's more common than you'd expect! One study of 367 males reported 35.7% engaged in fetishistic fantasy or behavior; further, not one of these participants reported associated distress. Since distress is the key component to clinical pathology, it's apparent that consensual fetishism is part of the spectrum of sexual behaviors and fantasies in healthy, normal individuals.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Men Vs Prostate Cancer

Men masturbation should be an essential part of your daily self care routine, while a balanced diet and exercise have been imbedded into our “How to live a longer, happier life.” no one ever talks or educates men that masturbation should be added as health regiment as well. Experts have found that men who ejaculate almost every day have a lower risk of developing prostate cancer. The man in lab coats (scientist) conducted a study exploring the potential link between ejaculation and prostate cancer, researchers found that men aged between 40 and 49 who ejaculate at least 21 times a month were at less risk than those who did so four to seven times. Now let’s explore, the brilliant people at Harvard Medical School studied almost 32,000 men for 18 years. Some 3,839 of those were diagnosed with prostate cancer during that time. The lab coats also asked the men how often they ejaculated between the ages of 20 to 29, 40 to 49, and in 1991, which was the year before the survey began. The results showed that the men who ejaculated more frequently were less likely to develop the disease at all three points in the study. The findings also stayed the same when environmental factors including diet, lifestyle, and prostate cancer screening were considered. The researchers now hope to pinpoint why ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Previous studies have suggested that ejaculation may lessen the likelihood by effectively “flushing out” cancer-causing agents. The disease is the most common cancer among men in the US, with 40,000 new cases diagnosed each year, according to the NCS. As the disease develops slowly, men often only become aware when the prostate is large enough to affect how the urethra carries urine. Yes, but why should ejaculating more often cut the risk of prostate cancer? The team speculates that ejaculation prevents carcinogens building up in the gland. The prostate, together with the seminal vesicles, secretes the bulk of the fluid in semen, which is rich in substances such as potassium, zinc, fructose and citric acid. Men this is not just limited to self love ahhhem masturbation; I am also suggesting more sexual activity with your partner. So now that you know the medical facts provided by the good scientist of the world, secure your healthy lifestyle by adding ejaculation to your a daily routine.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Forget getting rich - Sex is the real key to happiness!

What if someone where to tell you that adding a healthy dose of sex to your week would make you happier than being a millionaire? In fact, a few studies have shown that it increases their mood and allows you to have a greater sense of satisfaction with your life. Psychologists explore why people who have more sex are happier. The freedom to share the pleasure of touch, of the relaxation of the muscles, the delight in giving such pleasure to others, and of receiving their warmth and affection; all this can have a profoundly beneficial effect on a person's health, both mental and physical health. Now let’s talk about some of the incredible benefits associated with sex once a week. Sex can make both men and women look between five and seven years younger than they actually are. Looking younger carries with it a whole suite of benefits such as increased confidence, happiness, and enthusiasm. Physical intimacy can trigger the release of several chemicals in the brain including: Dopamine - which plays a major role in reward-motivated behavior, focuses attention and generally increases motivation Endorphins – our body’s natural pain and stress fighters, and Oxytocin – affectionately known as “the love hormone”, which can trigger feelings of compassion. After an orgasm, the body releases the hormoneprolactin which often leads to drowsiness and a general feeling of relaxation. Comfort ultimately resulting in sleep is a common post-orgasm response.   The Relative Health Benefits of Different Sexual Activities Sex can break a daily routine and excite one’s life, including relationships filled with routine. Spontaneous sex can keep relationships lively, create cherished memories, and remind couples why they fell in love in the first place. Partners occasionally lose sight of such things in the face of routine. We as human beings crave closeness. And, there's nothing more intimate between a couple than bare-skin  contact with someone you love. There is a reason that mothers are encouraged to hold their babies against their bare skin moments after birth – it creates bonding. When you're in love, something as simple as laying your head on your partner's bare chest and listening to their heartbeat can significantly increase your mood after a bad day. In short, I recommend making time to have sex once a week, not once a month, or thrice a year. And, don’t just talk or dream about it; sex is medicine for the body. Aside from promoting incredible feelings, spontaneous sex helps to keep relationships healthy. Intimacy helps us communicate with our partners holistically. Sex, especially with someone you love, is unbiased, wonderful and soul-pumping. Each time, its hard not to feel refreshed and anew.

Blog – by Diskret Life

When life is too busy, make the time to Spice up your Sex Life.

It is no secret that adult lives are busy, so busy that sometimes we barely have time to eat right, sleep enough, and of course have a decent sex life. Even when we have good intentions to make tonight the night, unexpected things seem to always happen. And sometimes, just sometimes, the plan for you and your lover to get naked and frisky is replaced by two sleeping adults snoring instead having incredible sex. Whether it is due to work, families or something else, we all face similar sex-obstacles and it is up to us to make the effort and the time. Only you can find ways to incorporate sex into your daily routine. Relationships can only go so long without intimacy. Adding some intimacy tips onto your daily routine could help improve and maintain a relationship. Humans are sexual creatures by nature and even the greatest loves can't withstand a life without sexual pleasure. Don't make one of the most common relationship mistakes and take your partner for granted.  Here are eight ways to incorporate sex into your daily routine. Take what you can get and give what you can It's not all about actual sex, pleasing your lover can be just as satisfying and in many cases an easier (quicker) way to incorporate sex into your daily life. Fooling around is hot and brings back memories of the good old days where you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. So if you have some time to spare don't assume it must be spent missionary, instead try touching, kissing, and giving pleasure in other ways. Morning quickies Set your alarm clocks a tad earlier so you can both wake up to enjoy each others bodies. The benefits of morning sex Mood Booster: we experience a release of oxytocin a loving bonding chemical that lifts our moods. Feel & Look Younger: With the release of endorphins sex causes the release of hormones, which can give the skin look younger and lush. Burn Calories: Yes, right before getting out of the bed burn those calories with some sexercise. It may seem crazy to imagine fitting that into your routine at first, but give it a try. I don’t know about you but I would love to start my day off with an orgasm. Just sayin'. Plan sex dates I know this may seem like the most unromantic thing, but for your busy calendar oriented people, scheduling sex sessions may be just what the doctor ordered. It can also allow you to incorporate sex into your daily routine. Between work, cooking, cleaning, yoga, and everything else in between there are some days I don’t get a moments rest. On those days, the last thing I am feeling is super excited to get naked and roll around. So if I am facing a week where spontaneous sex is just not in the cards I will plan a sex date to keep my lover satisfied and feeling important, because they are important and so is sex. It doesn't have to be boring either like, "OK hunny, next Wednesday at 8:45 pm I have an opening for some intercourse," talk about kill my libido, Please don't ever say that!  However, when I shoot a text that reads more like, "I know we've been busy but I can't wait to have you all to myself on Thursday" can be very hot.  Think of it like organized sexting meets virtual teasing. Be spontaneous Just like scheduled sex can be beneficial to our busy lives so can spontaneous sex. Knowing when to have sex and what works best for your relationship is a great way to incorporate sex into your daily routine. Honestly, you can't live your whole life by the books, even if those books occasionally have a blow job penciled in. Sometimes in life, we need to go with our feelings, with the day, with the wants of our partners. Some days we need to hit snooze on the alarm clock stay up an hour later, and remember how good it feels to be with our partner. Start foreplay with sexting Men love naked pictures of women so when they get a nudie of the woman they actually get to be with, its like Christmas morning in their pants. It is a wonderful way to incorporate sex into your daily routine. Even if you can't get up the nerve to do a sexy selfie, why not send some descriptive erotic texts telling him just how much you want him. It doesn't have to be filthy but use the advantage of not being face to face to open up more than you would in person. Same goes for you men guess what women LOVE to be adored, wanted, and appreciated, so take a few minutes out of your day to tell her just how much you do. Pick your favorite thing about her body and text her how much you love it. You may not always have time to fit sex into your daily life but that doesn't mean you can't fit some verbal loving in there. All this written desire can only lead to more possibilities in the bedroom. Think outside the home Sex doesn't only have to be in the bedroom, under the covers, with the room dimly lit. In fact, there are many other places to have sex outside the bedroom. Shower sex appeals to you morning love makers and don't underestimate the perfect height of the sink counter. Date nights that end in a hotel are guaranteed to get you both some action. Now, I don't want to advise you to go humping in the airplane bathroom or the back of your car, but if the moment strikes and the coast is REALLY clear, then why not give public sex try? It is an exciting way to incorporate sex into your daily routine. Adrenaline can be one hell of an aphrodisiac. Who needs a partner? The best way to get your sexual desires back and percolating is to give yourself some attention and remind yourself how good it feels. It doesn't have to be this big production but when you have some spare time, take out your BOB (battery operated boyfriend) and see where things go. Many times people, women more than men, lose interest in the action rather than the outcome, because let's be honest you can't get sick of orgasms, but if you can remind yourself of the joy and relief that comes with the Big O, you'd be surprised how much more you may crave it. Have some unwind time So many of us never have the time to wind down. We go go go all day long and then are expected to jump into bed and become a vixen in between the sheets. Yeah, right! At the end of the day, in order to incorporate sex into your daily routine, you have to be willing to try other things as well. Things that can only help as a couple. Scheduling time to have sex is great, but if you can also set aside a little extra for a glass of wine and erotic massage then even better.  Personally, I can't tell you how many times I have said, "I'm tired" or "I'm not in the mood," only to then get a 10-minute foot or back massage and be complete putty in my lover’s hands. All you need are those few minutes of clearing your head and a good ol' muscle rubdown to change your stubborn ways and incorporate sex into your daily routine.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Ben Wa Balls The Orgasmic Truth

Oh you incredibly incorrect fable that eroticized all of America. Yes, I am speaking of Fifty Shades of NO NO.  And although I would love to sit here and rant and rave about how incorrect to the BDSM lifestyle these movies and novels are, lets just explore the famous Ben Wa Balls. Although the movie does not explain how to properly utilize these incredibly orgasmic tools of pleasure and a rite of passage for some woman, lets explore the history of these tools. Ben Wa Balls in History: Ben Wa Balls are said to originate in JapanCirca 500 CE: where they were called Rin No Tama ('tinkling bells') and were made either of metal or ivory. Originally they were a single ball placed in the vagina used to enhance the act of coitus, but shortly evolved into multiple metal covered balls linked by either a chain or silk string for easy removal. Usage of Ben Wa balls create a subtle stimulation, not meant to bring the user to immediate orgasm but rather to tease. It is possible to leave Ben Wa balls in one's vagina all day, or use them while seated in a rocking chair, for an effect that some find pleasurable. At the end of the sixteenth century, Ralph Fitch, an English traveler, encountered them in the Shan States of Burma. He described their use there by men. Less than a dozen years later, the Florentine merchant Francesco Carletti also reported their use in Thailand, where they were used to enlarge the penis. The Journey: I discovered the beauty of yoni balls during my Tantric training as we learned the pleasures of strength of the pelvic floor. My guru took us through a vigor’s course and thought us how the Ben Wa Balls could aid us not only to strengthen our PC muscles but offer a complete body & mind healing. As we grow older we tend to lose strength and control on our vaginal walls these are just the facts (nothing that can't be fixed).  Ben Wa Balls come in a cylindrical shape and are used in increasing weights to strengthen the vagina, which improves sexual performance and PC tightening.  Ladies no more mild urinary incontinence, such as that which occurs while laughing, or sneezing, this can be treated with Ben wa balls, vaginal weights, or Kegel exercises. So after that History Lesson and Brief why all woman should utilize Ben Wa Balls Which ones should you start with? Ladies don’t worry I am going to give you options: *The Yoni Eggs: these beautiful carefully crafted crystals (love stones) will aid your root chakra, normally these stones will call out to you as they are crafted to aid you in your healing journey. A Yoni Egg is a very personal thing. I believe that every woman intuitively knows what is best for her. That being said, if it is your first introduction to Yoni Eggs, go with your intuition. *Luna Beads: I always recommend the LELO Luna beads these beauties contain an inner weight, which moves with the movement of your body, causing you to clench your muscles in response. In a way, you can also tailor your own training goals with the luna beads, they come with two 28 gram beads and two 37 gram beads, which can be used by themselves or in different combinations as you become stronger. I highly recommend utilizing Ben Wa Balls to increase your libido, increase your natural lubrication, tighten your PC muscles and if you’ve never had a vaginal orgasm before, this diligent practice can change your life to an entire new world of delightful pleasures.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Relax, it's just Anal Sex

Once a taboo, anal sex is now seen as an enjoyable addition to many sexual relationships. So now your partner wants to give it a try. Perhaps they’ve tried it before and enjoyed it, or maybe it’s long been a fantasy of theirs (and maybe yours too). If so, you wouldn’t be alone. On the other hand, some people have a very clear idea that anal sex isn’t for them, and that’s totally fine too as nobody should ever do anything that feels in any way forced or uncomfortable. Well, if your partner wants to try anal sex and you don’t feel comfortable then be sure to say so. However, if you’re curious to give it a go then my advice is to start gently. or most people the trick is getting to full penetration over a period of several sessions. To begin, gently inserting a finger can help to get you used to the sensation of having something inside your anus. It’s important to stay with this until you feel sufficiently confident to try something a bit bigger. Many people use sex toys I highly recommend starting with a butt plug (We-Vibe Ditto), as well as fingers or tongues, to gently explore the anus before progressing to full penetration by your partner. Some couples simply stick to using sex toys also I highly recommend anal beads and find this just as pleasurable. Lots of kissing and caressing is likely to help too because it will help to ease any anxiety and boost arousal. If you haven’t tried anal sex before, it’s natural to be concerned about pain. Any painful sensation is usually a warning sign that something is wrong and isn’t working, but when done with care it is not as or difficult than other sexual practices. That’s why being really aroused before any penetration is attempted is so important, along with feeling confident that your partner will stop if you ask them to. This is because the anal canal is likely to clamp shut at the first sign of pain or anxiety. The anal entrance is very sensitive and so starting with gentle touch or stroking there and all over the buttocks can really help set the scene before attempting penetration. Once the penis is inside the anus, any thrusting should start only after the penis has ‘rested’ there for a while. This helps you get used to feeling ‘filled up’ and also allows for checking out with a partner when to start and stop moving. Getting into the right position can help too. Spooning or lying side by side can be helpful because it allows for continued stimulation of the clitoris, nipples or penis, which can enhance pleasure and help maintain arousal. The level of penetration isn’t as deep as with some other positions, so this may be a comforting thought if you are an anal novice. For some men, face to face entry where the penetrator has their partner’s legs raised over their shoulders can help with continued stimulation of the penis. Anal sex is safer and often more pleasurable and fun when you take care to follow some basic guidelines. The anus doesn’t lubricate in the same way as a vagina so using plenty of lube is a must. Spread it all over the penis around the anus and as far up inside as you can. This will make penetration and stimulation much easier, and also help to avoid any damage to the anus which can be prone to cuts and tears if a partner gets careless. A water based lubricant is best (Coconu Water based lube) because silicon based lubricants can cause latex condoms to break. I'd also always recommend using condoms (The Hex Condom from Lelo) one to protect against STIs and to help avoid getting harmful bacteria where it can cause damage. Hygiene is important when it comes to anal, so wash thoroughly before any activity and wash the sex toys afterwards too. Using latex gloves for penetration with fingers and dental damns for mouth to anus contact may not sound the sexiest thing in the world but they can certainly help to limit any potential health hazards. And if there are any existing anal problems, such as itching or soreness, piles or constipation, these must be dealt with before you give anal a try. Also, definitely see a doctor if there’s any bleeding or discharge from the anus after sex (or indeed at any other time). Don’t be disappointed if it takes a few attempts to get to a place where it feels like a natural addition to your sexual experience. Equally, if you do try anal and find it’s not for you then don’t worry - there are always plenty of other things to experiment with. Whatever happens, feeling safe and comfortable is likely to enhance the experience for both of you. A key part of that, as with all things sexual, is deciding together what’s on offer and how far you want to go.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Better than your Hand!

Gentlemen and sex toys; why keep them on the DL (down low)?  When a man mentions that he uses a sex toy to his friends, he is likely to be ridiculed rather than asked for a product recommendation. Perhaps this is because the image of male sex toys is the blow­up doll, whereas the reality is that male sex toys are now as innovative and varied as toys for women. Let’s explore some facts and also encourage men to have open conversations with their male friends about the importance of owning a sex toy. Here are some facts about men and their views about buying male sex toys: 51% of the men own a sex toy with cock rings being the most popular toy (30%) followed in popularity by Fleshlight, prostate massagers, penis pumps and stamina rings. 78% of the men said that they would consider buying a sex toy for solo use. 22% said “no way”. 70% suggested that they should be allowed to buy a male sex toy without embarrassment. 69% would be happy to let their partner use a male sex toy on them. 60% of the men who replied said they had use a female sex toy on their partner and enjoyed the experience. Doctors who specialize in sexual dysfunction recommend sex toys as a vital part of erectile dysfunction treatment, including: penis pumps, constriction bands (cock rings), and vibrators for use on the penis. As well, customers just seeking to do something a little different in their sex lives. Men often buy a vibrator for their wives too - it means they can still share intimacy even if penetrative sex isn't possible. Men who use sex toys were more likely to participate in sexual health promoting behaviors such as testicular examination and male sexual health clinics. They also scored highly on satisfaction levels of erectile dysfunction, intercourse satisfaction, orgasmic function and sexual desire. The benefits of orgasms are huge for both physical and mental well­being, and lowers the risk of developing prostate cancer by 22% (yes, 22%). So anything that adds or enables an orgasm can only be a good thing. So gentlemen, the point is share your toy knowledge with your close friends. It should never be a dirty-little secrete that lives in your dresser drawer or in hidden corners of the infamous man caves. Sex is healthy, and guys can help improve sexual performance and satisfaction if they are more open to sharing the value toys and the resulting orgasms bring to our bodies.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Don't be boring - pick the position that fits the mood!

Knowledge is power, especially when it comes to sexual positions. Beyond what you see in the fantasy  world of movies, there is actually a step-by-step process for sexual positions and rich sexual experiences. While you already know the infamous missionary and doggy style positions, do you know which to use based on the mood you and your lover are seeking? Do you know which positions are best accentuated by her wearing heels, and which are better for a partner who wants to feel in control? Whether you're looking for a fast and furious orgasm or a long and sensuous night of holding one another, the position you choose is almost as important as how well you execute it. Let's explore five of my favorite sex positions to explore with your lover. Saddle up and ride (Cowgirl) The man lies flat on his back. The woman kneels, facing him, and lowers herself onto his erection. During intercourse, the man can either remain still (men don’t just lay there either) or thrust upward; All the movement will be done by the woman. Using her legs, she can move up and down, sliding the penis through her vagina or, using her hips, she can revolve her vagina around the penis; or, she can do both simultaneously, literally "screwing" her vagina onto the man's penis for a truly sensational orgasm. The big advantage of the woman is that she can control the rate and depth of entry, and move her body in such a way as to cause maximum clitoral stimulation—thus best pleasing herself. It also allows the man to massage her breasts as they are in this incredible position. Take a seat (Man Sitting)  The man sits down, either on the side of the bed or, preferably, on a couch or large easy chair so that he can lean back. The woman kneels over his penis, straddling his hips with her knees, and slowly lowers herself onto him. This is similar to the cowgirl position, except that the woman's breasts are more accessible to the man's mouth and he can kiss, bite, and suck her nipples during intercourse. He is also easily able to reach around and grab her buttocks as she moves up and down on his lap. Love On Top (Woman Elevated)  The woman lies flat on her back on top of a table or other waist-high elevation (a desk, for example, is perfect for sex in the office). She spreads her legs, allowing easier access to her vagina. As the man stands between her open legs, she can pull them back, bent at the knees; lift them straight up to form a V; or, wrap them around the man's waist, with her heels digging into the small of his back. The man can either stand up straight, grasping the woman by her waist and pulling her toward him as he thrusts into her; or, he can lean over her, resting his weight on his hands, and use his leg muscles to aid in penetration. Sex In Numbers (69)  As youths, we all whispered that this stood for "6 minutes of pleasure, 9 months of waiting," but now we all know that 69 is a visual depiction of mutual oral sex. The 69 is often referred to by its French translation, soixante neuf, for indeed it was the French who perfected the art of sexually satisfying your partner with your mouth and tongue (hence, the "French kiss"). In the 69, the woman lies on her back. The man kneels over her, with his head positioned over her vagina and his penis hanging down over her mouth. As the woman pleasures his penis, grasping its root with her hand, the man licks her clitoris while cupping her buttocks. For added satisfaction, as his tongue plays over her clit, his fingers can slide into her vagina and tickle her anus. Of course, in the 69 the woman can be on top.  Fine Dinning (Cunnilingus)  This is the most unselfish sexual act the man can perform. The woman lies flat on her back, perhaps with a pillow under her buttocks. With her head back, she closes her eyes and relaxes as the man kneels between her legs, spreads her labia with his fingers, and applies the tip of his tongue to her clitoris. By alternating the speed with which he licks her love button, first slow, then fast, the man can dictate the woman's orgasm. For example, as soon as he senses she is about to climax, he can slow down his tongue action, prolonging the build-up. Just when she is about to climb the walls from this teasing, he can apply quick flicks, up and down or in circles around her clitoris until she explodes in an exquisite orgasm, experiencing waves of orgasms through out her body.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Butt Plugs

Anal sex play for men sounds scary for some, but in fact, it can be one of the most stimulating and enjoyable activities in the bedroom. Butt plugs often stimulate the prostate to greatly enhance sexual experience! When it comes to choosing the best anal sex toys for men, most of it comes down to preference because only you know what you can handle back there! Choosing the right butt plug can feel like a daunting task with all the variety, shapes, sizes, colors and options out there, but perhaps a helpful tip is to decide the purpose of the stimulator you are looking for. If you're shopping for butt plugs, do you want ones that stimulates the prostate, stretches the anal ring, or do you want them just to look good? There are all sorts of anal sex toys out there. From dildos to prostate massagers to butt plugs and more, when it comes to the best anal sex toys for men, there is something for everyone, here are but a few highly recommended butt plugs: BRUNO by LELO Created by LELO, one of the leaders in adult products, BRUNO is a prostate massager that brings  ultimate satisfaction. BRUNO contains two powerful motors at both of its tapered ends: the base for dual satisfaction and the curved tip for powerful and pleasureful prostate stimulation. Designed to be hands-free, it contains six different vibration settings at the touch of a button to offer a more powerful climax and longer lasting pleasure. And since it is waterproof, the fun can be taken anywhere. This luxurious prostate massager is designed to stay in place and its shape, size and performance offer intense stimulation. Ditto by We-Vibe  Created by We-Vibe, Ditto is the perfect butt plug for easing into the joys of anal play. Ditto's soft  silicone design can be oriented in several positions, allowing you to find what is most pleasurable for you, whether you're playing solo or with your partner. Quiet and waterproof, the Ditto comes with a USB charging cable and can last for up to two hours of play. Included remote control allows you to easily switch between modes without sacrificing the excitement of the moment. Ten preset vibration patterns are just the start: customize your rhythm or give a partner control by using with the We-Connect application. NJOY Pfun Plug  The nJoy Pfun Plug is a stainless steel prostate massager carefully designed to mimic the curves of the body and hit just the right spot. Its stainless steel construction includes a larger rounded head, and a second smaller bulge for additional stimulation. It can be controlled by hand, or by the user's own muscles. It is durable, long-lasting and easily sanitized.

Blog – by Diskret Life

How To Use A Dildo!

Being a founder of an adult product retail store, I come across a lot of questions in the sex toy industry. One that I continue to hear whispers about is that women are interested in Dildos but not exactly sure how to use it. First, I want to say is IT IS OKAY, it is normal to have questions about using a dildo especially if your new to sex toys. There is no need to whisper to a friend behind a locked door about the possibility of getting one. This is the 21st century and sex, sex toys, and dildos are flying around all over the place! Don’t believe me? Just go on any social media platform and search Lelo, Diskret, or Crave. Hundreds of thousands of people are following these sex toy companies and not ashamed of the joys and pleasure they bring to them on a daily basis. A dildo is usually a starter or entry level toy that still brings the most “bang for your buck” in todays sex toy industry. Why is this? It usually consists of a long straight or slightly curved shaft and some form of a knob(s) on the end to resemble the head of a penis. The design is simple and usually it is made of silicone or glass, which are cheaper materials to manufacture with. The Dildo History: But before we dive into a step-by-step on how to use one… Lets look at the history and see if your generation is the first to try dildos. The first known dildo found was in Germany near Ulm and it dates back over 30,000 years! No, I didn’t make a mistake and add an extra zero or two. Our ancestor’s ancestors knew what dildos were and were using them all the time! Archeologists have found “devices” shaped exactly like a penis, that dates back even to earlier times but the exact function of these “dildos” are labeled as unknown. Also, our ancestors were not ashamed of sharing the fact they used them. They embraced them so much: as putting them on huge pieces of art that are still around today. For instance the Shakespeare’s “A Winter’s Tale” and many Greece vases have dildos painted on them, clear as day! But what were they made of back then? They didn’t have hand blown glass, or high temp silicone compound molds?! Guess what, if you can think of it, chances are someone has shoved it in their body. Yes, even everything or anything available to them at that time, like wood, stone, bone, bread, vegetables, and rocks. You name it, they used it! The Types of Dildos: So the fact they have been around since the “stone age” means they must have evolved some right? Yes and no, Diskret offers hand polished crystals or stones that many women rave about today. So that hasn’t changed, however the technology and manufacturing has changed of course. So lets start with the basics. The realistic dildo : is your standard silicone dildo, shaped like a penis. They come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Up until about 15 years ago, these were your only dildo options. It was a big game changer when it came in black or white. Meaning you want your black guy or white guy, just the penis, without the guy along for the ride. You want large, small, or medium you have many choices for length and girth. If you have not used one before, I suggest starting small, they are extremely affordable and if its not doing the deed, it easy enough to order up a new larger one. The glass dildo: is another highly rated adult product. These are known for the fact they are very hygienic. Glass is much less porous than silicone. Which means it doesn’t hold bacteria as much and can be cleaned with ease. You can even throw most into the dishwasher for a super scrub. I usually clean mine by hand under running water and anti-bacterial soap. Glass dildos are becoming more popular due to the amazing designs and shapes they come in. Some are so beautiful you want to display them on shelve like a piece of art for all to see! The colors really pop when the light catches them, not to mention they feel amazing. A lot of bend and twist allows you to hit the right spot. So, once you find that magical glass dildo shape, you should never leave it. They not only feel amazing but are great for temperature play. Just run your glass dildo under warm or cold water before using it for a totally new sensation. The luxury dildo: These are a personal favorite and important to the industry. The sex toy industry has had a bad reputation for cheap, unsafe, and ridiculous looking objects that only the brave souls would try. Well times have changed and so have the brands, the dildo has now become an object in over 60% of all women’s night stands throughout the U.S. (if you are over the age of 18). So if you don’t own one, that’s okay but understand you’re now the anomaly in America. A few brands have carved themselves out as someone who takes their pleasure seriously. They offer quality, reliable, and extremely pleasurable adult products. Some of the industry top rated adult products can be found at: Diskret Lelo Crave Njoy The double ended dildo: This is a favorite in the lesbian arena, but can also be used for double penetration by solo women, or even a women with a man. They are usually made with same diameter ends but some are made to pump one end larger than the other. These are typically made of silicone or stainless steel. This is not something I would consider a beginner adult product unless you discuss the use of one with your partner ahead of time. The strap-on dildo: These are also most common in the lesbian sex toy industry. It is a harness that “straps on” and holds a dildo of your choosing or has a built in dildo already. Make sure you and your partner are familiar with the dildo before strapping it on and using it. Go slow to start, for if you have not used one before you can overpower your partner into feeling pain or discomfort from the size and girth. Remember to use plenty of lube and communication throughout the process, a simple “faster” or “slower” is all that you need to bring the ultimate pleasure to both of you. Safety First: Just because it comes in a box that says dildo, and it looks like a sex toy does not mean you should shove it in your body! I can not emphasize this enough. Of course, dildos are an amazing way to spice up your sex life and can be the most pleasurable experience you have ever had. I am not trying to scare you, but simply want you to be aware of what you put in your body. Just like all amazing experiences, there is risk involved if you are ignorant. First thing I would do is check the manufacturing company or retail company. What is there reputation like. If you can’t find an official looking website, chances are, they are not a regulated manufacturer or brand. Second is look at the material it is made of. If the material is porous it can hold bacteria. Not all silicone, silicon, and silica gel is safe! Avoid purchasing sex toys off Amazon, Ebay, and AliExpress. These are a breeding ground for low quality dildos with zero regulations on material and packaging. Like stated earlier, stainless steel dildo is the safest, then glass (low quality cheap glass can be unsafe depending on how they add the color), then your silicone based products. Simply be aware of who makes it and who sells it is your best bet. Remember to use lube! If you have not used a dildo before, remember you really cannot go wrong with a natural lube, the more the better. Lubes come in a variety of types. Check out Dangerouslilly for the ultimate lube safety guide. I recommend a natural lube to start, even pure coconut butter from your kitchen can be the best solution (if you know you are not allergic)! Lastly, remember to clean the dildo once you are done. If it is glass or stainless steel, most can be thrown into the dishwasher. You can also just use warm water and anti-bacterial soap. If you do not clean them, your risk for yeast infection increases drastically. Also, many companies make a cleaner spray you can use to wipe it down with as well. STEP-BY-STEP Picking A Dildo First step is purchasing one. This is a big hurdle for a first-time user since most retailers offer an enormously overwhelming selection. For this exact reason Diskret keeps total inventory of all products to less than 150 pieces. If your overwhelmed this is a natural state of mind. Start with breaking it down by size. You need to find something that is slender and not to long. I would recommend something around 1.5” or less in diameter and under 8” in length. Next, break it down by geometry. Don’t go to wild to start, not until you know and understand your body. Go for a slight curve to help the g-spot, a bulb or two at the end, or plain straight like the tower may work. Once you have built a collection of dildos and you want to branch out into different styles and geometry, you can get just about anything you can imagine. Even fun and corky stuff like geeky sex toys. Next, pick the material. Stay away from jelly, rubber, pvc, cyberskin,or UR3. For one they smell funny, not made of high quality, and some have phthalates. You want something non porous and easy to clean. If you get something silicone make sure the brand is very trusted, and is actually pure silicone. Some silicone is soft, some is firm, and others are squishy. If you decide on silicone just be aware of odors, discoloration or anything you see visually odd with it. Finally pick your price range. Remember as for most things “you get what you pay for” when it comes to sex toys. At the same time if this is your first dildo, you may want to stay in the mid-range. You don’t know your body yet, and you could outgrow your dildo fast if the size is not enough for you, or if the geometry isn’t doing the trick. Once you understand what your body craves, you can start dishing out more for the higher end products. Again go with a trusted brand or retailer and you should be fine. I advise staying away from Amazon, Ebay, and AliExpress because you never really know what you’re going to get, a lot of cheap manufacturing company’s display dildos on these sites. How to Use A Dildo: So now that you have the entire background and history on dildos, how the heck do I use one the right way? Even if you plan to use a dildo with a partner the best start is trying it on your own and becoming comfortable with it. You will know what if feels like, less self-conscious, and won’t have to worry so much about your partner and just focus on how it feels. Once you purchased your dildo, you need to find a quite and location that is private. Give yourself plenty of time! I can’t say this enough, if your rushed on the first time, it will not bring the most pleasure. Odds are even if its your millionth time being rushed is never the best scenario, the “quickie” has its place but not on your first go around. So now that you have your beginner dildo, a quiet, private place with plenty of time let the fun begin! You should start by turning yourself on, same as you would with out a dildo. Just keep calm and relaxed, you don’t need to use the dildo at this stage, your hand will do just fine. Start out slow… Now that you are turned on you can add a little lube to the dildo and start by rubbing yourself with it. Start with exterior play until you are highly turned on and everything is well lubricated. You can massage or stimulate more than just the clitoris, you can massage your nipples, anus, and labia. Think of it as teasing yourself and build up for the moment of penetration. Slowly penetrate with the dildo. Again, start slow and work your way to a speed that feels the most pleasurable. Test it our by moving it in different motions until you hit that perfect spot. Play with the speed and rhythm. Once you understand what speeds and motions you enjoy and at what stage of the process you want it, make sure to relay this to your partner when you use it with them. You can either communicate it openly or show them by guiding their hand or having them watch you do it. Now finally once you have the speed and motion down you can climax from the penetration. However, many women cannot climax from penetration alone but need external clitoral stimulation as well. If that is the case you can use the dildo in one hand and rub your clitoris with the other! Understand the Big-O. Again this is about understanding your own body and what it craves most. Some women like fast strokes with the dildo throughout their orgasms others like slow, some like no motion at all. Just know what you like during your orgasm and have fun with it! Never take things to seriously. If you don’t orgasm from the dildo the first time don’t worry about it. You can take your time and develop whatever process works best for you. If you try many times and it’s just not working, again don’t worry because there are a million adult products out there and I say never give up on trying to find the next best dildo for you! In Conclusion: Now that you have the ultimate guide for pleasure at your disposal, go have fun! Using a dildo by yourself to learn and understand your body will make sex with a partner much more enjoyable. Don’t be afraid to bring the dildo out with your partner and use it on them or have them use it on you. This especially comes in handy if you came first and your partner didn’t achieve their orgasm yet. Just whip out the trusty dildo and finish them off! Remember sex toys are here to bring pleasure. So keep it light, have fun, and test out this new amazing avenue in your life. You will not regret it!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Breast Play

Breasts have been the pivotal and a cultural phenomenon of lure, beauty and lust however the myth of how incredibly orgasmic our breast can be remains but a silent whisper. Most women don't know that their breasts are orgasmic. We're so focused on having an orgasm through clitoral stimulation and/or vaginal penetration that we miss out on so many other great forms of stimulation. While we’ve probably all thought of the breasts and nipples as “erogenous zones” for our whole adult lives, now there is scientific evidence that the brain thinks so too. A study was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealing that nipple stimulation activates the genital sensory cortex in the brain in the same way that stimulation of the clitoris, vagina and cervix does.  This may explain why orgasms from breast stimulation alone are possible. When you get aroused your breast can swell up to 25%. This natural boost makes the breast not only  look better but makes them also way more sensitive your nipples go from a pale to deeper hue the more you’re aroused. This makes sense, given that your blood flow increases when you’re turned on. Nipple play can be incredibly hot and satisfying for you and your man. Nipple play can be used to initiate sexual arousal and to add to sexual arousal during sex. When aroused, the nipple becomes erect. This is from the release of oxytocin, the feel-good hormone. As long as the nipple area is being stimulated, the oxytocin continues to release. And that can lead to more intense orgasms and a feeling that the whole body was involved in the orgasm There’s more than one way to stimulate your nipples, here are a few incredibly gun ideas you can utilize to play with your lover’s nipples. You can use these techniques on your lover, or you can ask them to use them on you. Breast Massage: Start with strokes around the belly, rib cage, and in between the breasts to tease your lover. Don't touch their breasts yet. Take time to tease their body then the continue onto the breasts and nipples. Alternate between a featherlike touch with your fingertips and a medium-light touch to caress the stomach, between your breasts, and the neck. Once you start to feel your lovers body react, use the featherlike touch to circle their breasts, then ease into massaging or squeezing the breasts. Wait to touch the nipples until you start to feel more turned on. Circling the breasts in large strokes around areola and breast without touching the nipples continues to build anticipation. Sensation Play: (Ice) Nipples can be very sensitive to changes in temperature utilizing ice might take nipple play go from 0- 100 in a few seconds. Ice will allow your lovers nipples to instantly react to the coldness of the ice, becoming hard and erect. To spice things up, have your partner run the ice cube over your breasts and nipples with their mouth. Nipple Clamps: To utilize nipple clasps on nipples, squeeze the sides of the clip to open the jaws of the brace. Hold the Nipple rigid, and place the cinch as far down on the nipple as would be prudent for a firm grasp. You may need to modify the clasps depending upon the size and of your lover’s nipples. For littler nipples, it might be simpler to squeeze onto the skin of the nipple for a firm grasp. On the other hand, it might be less demanding to put the clips on bigger nipples when the nipples are not erect, as the tissue will be more adaptable and less demanding to hold. Feather Tickler: Holding onto the stem, allow the soft tip of the tickler to gently caress your lover's nipples experiment with different types of contact, using a combination of barely-there touches and prolonged strokes to vary play, paying attention to how they react to each caress. You'll quickly get to know how and where they like it. Good ol fashion mouth and tongue action: There is nothing more satisfying than the fell of your lovers wet and warm mouth. Start with kissing, a kiss on your lover’s breast registers the sensation of soft, warm, and slightly moist lips that they’ll be sure to love. Start with short pecks from the under- boob and work your way with longer and deeper kisses until you reach the nipples. Licking is wet, slimy and warm. And then cools off as the saliva evaporates from the skin making for a novel mix of sensations. There are many ways to lick your lover’s breasts, but for now, focus on tracing circles around her areola with the tip of your tongue, afterwards… Just as breasts come in all shapes, sizes and colors, women’s preferences during breast play will differ. Some women may love having their nipples twisted or bitten while others might find this painful. Also, breast sensitivity changes with our menstrual cycles, so what we may literally like one week, we won’t stand the next. The mysterious rhythm of our bodies is kind of exciting!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Your Ultimate Guide to Anal Beads

When you first started masturbating it was intuitive to start with your genitals. Most of us heard this is how you masturbate, hand and genitals, maybe some lube if you are really feeling wild. Well times have changed my friend! People are really becoming more open with their sexuality and not holding back when it comes to exploring more ways to find pleasure. Of course, people have explored anal play and anal beads in the past, but it was not as socially acceptable or popular as it is  today. What are anal beads?          Anal beads are a sex toy that consist of round spheres attached to each other by a form of a string. As you insert these and remove these from the anus they provide the user pleasure. Lots, and lots of pleasure to be more specific. If you have participated in anal sex, or perhaps a butt plug before, you are no stranger to the pleasure it can provide if done correctly. There is no gender specific anal bead.  Anal beads can be used by males or females and perhaps the only thing that would make one geared more for females vs males would be the colors involved. Both males and females have the same biology when it comes to the anus. History of Anal Beads: Anal sex has been around since the Ancient Greeks. We know this because they were obsessed with depicting it on all their clay pottery. But they weren’t the only ones participating in anal sex, between 100AD and 800AD in Northern Peru, the Moche culture production of pottery exploded. With that archaeologists have unearthed 10,000 pots all showing individuals participating in anal sex! So, when did anal beads come into play? Nobody is exactly sure, but if they already had ben Wa balls and dildos, and were obsessed with anal sex, they most likely had some form of anal beads then as well. But either way, its not like anal beads are some 21st century invention is the point. Types: There are hundreds of different types of anal beads on the market. However, they all use the same general concept of a shaped bead, on a string like material. Some use round spheres, while others use ellipse shaped beads. They use a string to connect them or a single molded flexible unit. They will all have a ring or “stopper at the end to prevent the anal beads from going in to far. Most all have a gradual increase in size from smallest to largest, with the largest being the last to enter the anus. The stopper will be used to pull the anal beads back out during use. Some of the types of materials that make up anal beads are: Silicone: Silicone anal beads are the usually the most economic friendly however are usually lower quality. Some tend to break down over time and are slightly more difficult to clean due to the pours naturally found in silicone. Also, they may not be used with specific oil-based lube as this can break down the silicone. Make sure to read the material composition of the anal bead and if it is safe with all lubes or use a trusted manufacturer/retailer like Diskret. Glass: Glass anal beads are slightly higher quality than silicone, but keep in mind you sacrifice the flexibility that silicone provides. For beginners I suggest getting glass or steel anal beads for the fact it doesn’t require as much dexterity or control to use. Once you gain more experience with the stiffer anal bead, you can move to a flimsy silicone if you wish. Steel: Steel anal beads are the highest quality material. They are the safest from a hygiene perspective and easy to control for beginners. Check out the Njoy Fun Wand which consist of a steel dildo and anal beads on the opposite end! Just keep in mind to minimize risk when purchasing anal beads. Stay away from anal beads that use nylon string. These are usually low quality and uncomfortable when being used. Remember to start small and work your way into the larger sizes if you are new to anal beads and anal toys. As you become more experienced you may not want the very small beads at the end and wish to have something small and stockier. This way you can experience the larger beads without requiring to 5-8 small beads first. Check out the anal beads by Diskret for this look and feel. What Do They Feel Like? Anal beads are a unique sex toy, much different from your vibrators and dildos. But in my mind closer to ben wa balls . This is because they do not bring a constant surge of pleasure. Majority of the pleasure comes from being inserted and removed across two ringed sphincter muscles in your anus. This brings a serious amount of pleasure as each anal bead passes through this muscle. Work these into your daily sex life to increase pleasure for both him and her! Remember never to use the same anal beads on each other without cleaning in between. You do not want to transfer bacteria that is specific to your body into your partners. How To Use Anal Beads Overview:               There are a few ways to use anal beads for the maximum amount of pleasure. Remember you can use these during solo play, hand them over to your partner, or use them on your partner. The possibilities are endless when you start throwing different sex positions in there. Use the anal beads for a warm-up that leads into a more intense sex session for you and your partner. Use the anal beads at the start of your masturbation session, that can lead into a longer lasting orgasm. Talk to your partner about using them on him or her. Make sure they understand what they are, and how they work. Then remember to start slow and use lots of lube. If any discomfort happens make sure they tell you. Those are the main overviews on how to use anal beads. But what is the detailed process on using them?        Know Your Body:          Know your body and start small. If you are new to anal anything, make sure you are fully relaxed and purchase anal beads that are on a smaller scale. Make sure you are fully lubed, because the anus is fragile and can tear without lube. Insert the beads one by one until you are at your comfort limit for size, then slowly remove them to stimulate the anus. Just inserting the anal beads slowly with become pleasurable. Continue to do this until you are highly stimulated and turned on. Then you want to leave the anal beads in while you continue your masturbation or sex session. Remember, you will feel these throughout your sexual activities but they will be far from your main focus. Your focus will be on your partner and your genitals. Orgasmic!:               Once you have built stimulation with your masturbation or sex session until the point of orgasm. Remember you have the anal beads in to support your climax! So just before you orgasm slowly pull the anal beads out to set you over the edge! Or as soon as you orgasm slowly pull the anal beads out to make your orgasm extremely intense and last longer. This will stimulate both your (vagina / penis) and the anus all at the same time! Creating an extremely unique orgasm like you’ve never felt before. Don’t forget the vibrating anal beads for extra stimulation throughout. If you love anal stimulation,  you may want anal beads to be more of a focus than just warming up with them or leaving them in throughout the sexual session. In that case, play with them throughout the sex session whenever you need additional anal stimulation. Remember to use communication with your partner and have them pull/insert whenever you require this anal stimulation. You can also have them surprise you with stimulating them at there discretion which is always fun and kinky! Just a bead or two every 5 mins can increase pleasure drastically! Safety:           Remember to care for your adult products as you do your own body. These anal beads will be in your body and possibly your partners, so take care of them! Make sure to wash them fully after each use, some are dishwasher safe and others just clean with hot water and mild soap. If you are going to be using them with your partner, and your partner enjoys anal stimulation as well, have two sets of anal beads. One for you, and one for your partner. DO NOT MIX AND MATCH in the same sex session. Your anal bacteria are unique to your body and should not be transferred to another anus. For a safe bet, if your anal beads are made of the correct material you can boil them in water as well. Just remember to let them fully cool before use. As mentioned before, avoid all anal beads made from porous materials, because it doesn’t matter how much you try to clean them they won’t be 100% clean. Conclusion:  In conclusion, like most adult products if used in the correct manor and in safe conditions anal beads can be extremely pleasurable. A lot of individuals and couples are starting to explore anal play again. For the past couple hundred years it was looked at as “taboo” but those days are behind us and the 21st century is diving head first into the adult products world! Anal play has been around since the ancient Greeks for a reason, its insanely pleasurable! Give anal beads a try, even if you have not experimented with anal play before. It’s best practice to start small and work your way up with plenty of lube and in a completely relaxed state. The pleasure is induced through inserting and removing the anal beads slowly. You can insert the beads and leave them in throughout your sexual experience for an extra boost in pleasure. Remove them just before, or right after you orgasm for a prolonged intense orgasmic sensation! Do not be shy when talking to your partner about adult products or feel ashamed. Almost 80% of all women have tried some form of adult product and most men want to but might be too shy to bring it up to their partner. So don’t hold back, anal beads are just another tool in your sex box to stimulate your senses in another manor. Love your body, love your pleasure, and love your sex toys. Please feel free to contact Diskret if you have any questions on anal beads at info@diskretadultlife Also, make sure to check out all of Diskret’s top sex toys here!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Sex Bucket List

Sex Bucket List Let us start with the obvious item should make your list of things to put on your sex bucket list that will enhance the intimacy with your partner. There is so many times missionary can be achieved before sex becomes a chore and an all-out bore that lacks fun, imagination and any ounce of energy. Want to have incredible sex and figure out what you and your partner like? Then trying a new position is definitely a must. You be able to find positions that allow for deeper penetration, long lasting sex, greater enjoyment, stronger intimacy, and many more things that will leave you wondering why you didn’t do this sooner. Try Some Role Play Does your partner like to watch a certain movie, TV show, or play a certain video game? Do they look turned on when they talk about it? Then you have more hints than you know in order to bring their fantasy to life in a very sexy way. If he likes stars wars, then it is time to dress up as princess Leia and have him be your Han Solo so that he can rescue you from the evil clutches of Jaba the Hut – you don’t even need to watch the entire stars wars saga to know this scene is huge turn on. Try Edging Together Edging is underrated, but it can lead to mind blowing sex and deeper appreciation for communication. When edging, all you have to do is stop having sex whenever you are about to climax, calm yourself down, and start having sex again. Then repeat the process; the longer you do this for, the better because when you finally climax, it will be the one of the most intense orgasms of your life. You will learn to communicate more with your partner, and have sex that lasts longer. The added benefit of edging is that it actually helps guys who have premature ejaculatory problems last longer in bed by giving them more sexual stamina, which can also lead to more pleasure for both of you. Threesome While three is a crowd – as the saying goes. Sometimes, the more people there are, the merrier. If your partner is open to it, then you have to make a threesome one of the things to put on your sex bucket to try at least once. You partner also has to be very comfortable with adding an extra person, because this will bring a lot of extra variables into the sex equation, and they need to be ready. The idea of seeing your partner with someone else can be scary and may arouse feelings of jealousy, so this has to be attempted when your relationship is secured enough and both of you know that this is just a fun little adventure. Get Kinky If you are more secure and mature in your relationship that being more open is not an issue, then why not add some kink into the mix and enjoy a little S&M (sadism and masochism). This is where you and your partner abuse each other – by whipping, for example – during sexual intercourse. You can throw in a little bondage and discipline in there to get the full experience of bondage discipline sadism and masochism (BDSM) – just don’t forget to use a safe word incase suffocation is involved. This can lead to all new levels sexual arousal and orgasms that can intensify the sexual experience. Sex with Other Couples You’ve probably gone on a few double dates with a couple that you and partner seem to like very much by now. It’s the third date, and things seem to be going very well. So it might be time to invite them over to take the friendship to the next level as couples. This is a more intimate version of a foursome and adds greater variety into the mix, such as a social dimension, quantity, curiosity and more, to give you a break from conventional sex. Whatever the reason, make sure to vet the couple you decide to have sex with very carefully, just to be on the safe side, otherwise have a blast getting to know your friends more intimately. Sex in Public This one should have been at the top of the list, but I thought it required a little build up because it can be quite a rush. The excitement of being caught and trying to get away with it makes the whole activity very hot and dangerous (which makes it hotter). To go at it with your partner in places that are forbidden and pose risk of arrest and/or public humiliation can breathe a whole new life into your sex life and bring whole lot energy and arousal. It is time to have sex on the beach (and I am not talking about the drink). If you are ever thinking of doing it in the park, then you should definitely make this one of the things to put on your sex bucket list.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Your Ultimate Guide To Literotica!

This is going to become your ultimate guide to literotica! If you are not sure what literotica is don’t worry, you’re not alone. Literotica and writing erotic stories have been around a long time but have really went main stream in the past few years especially with the explosion of “Fifty Shades” novels and movie series. What Is Literotica: Literotica refers to creatively written erotica novels, stories, and poems. It was derived from literature and erotica, meaning the writing of erotic situations. The term originated from Literotica.com, which was a unique site that took user-submitted erotic stories and posted it for everyone to read. The websites name caught on and become synonymous for modern erotica novels and stories. Literotica in a sense is like watching soft porn, of course you have the extreme adult stories as well. You can read anything from people making out, all the way to extreme bondage and BDSM scenarios. All true literotica should have a goal in telling a story and explaining the background more than focusing only on the sexual content. The key is building the background before explaining the hot sex scenes in excruciating details. The important thing is finding a balance of what you’re most interested in, and what excites you the most. You can find literotica short stories, one-off stories, chain-stories written with other authors, and entire adult novels submitted in chapters. All literotica is usually a largely image-free environment. If your looking to watch porn, go watch porn. If you’re looking to stare at images of naked men or women, go buy a playboy. That is not what you will find in literotica, nor is the purpose of these stories. These adult stories are meant to drive your imagination into places it has never been. Imagine a hot steamy sex dream while you’re awake! Literotica is categorized into many different themes, some involving minimal pictures, and others strictly audio. While men strongly prefer to watch porn, many women find this to overwhelming. Most porn is geared towards men and does not build any anticipation but more so goes straight into the sex scene. Literotica liberates a lot of women from porn that might be to extreme or vulgar for them to truly enjoy. The term “porn for women” is searched a quart-million times a month for a reason. Women want something more specific to them. While it might take longer than a 5min video clip, picking up a literotica novel can bring you continued pleasure through your own imagination, for hours on end! A psychologist opinion on the matter: While men, unlike women, physical excitement and psychology are blended; if there is an erection, the male is excited. The women’s brain is designed to be more cautious, that’s why they choose partners with care and gathering a lot of information. Which is why women read more literotica compared to watching porn. This of course is not scientifically proven; however the numbers don’t lie. Women search literotica just under 2M times a month and they are not only reading it but getting serious pleasure out of writing it as well. Besides, what’s better than putting your deepest darkest desires on paper anonymously for everyone else to fantasies about? Keep in mind Literotica does not have to be a 300 page novel. The adult short stories are becoming more and more popular. Imagine reading a blog, or article from the newspaper. It might only take you 5 mins, but in that span of time it can get your mind and body worked up into quite a degree of pleasure. No need to think dirty, literotica explains that dirty image very vividly! History Of Literotica:      Erotic writing: Erotic writing has been around since ancient Greece and Roman times. In ancient Sumer, a whole cycle of poems revolved around the erotic lovemaking between multiple goddesses. Erotic fiction: Erotic fiction has been around since ancient and medieval times as well. Erotic fiction is a twist on literotica where it deals with sexual themes, generally in a more literary or serious way than the fiction seen in your Dads porno mags. These works are frequently banned by the government and religious societies. “The writing of prostitution”: The writing of prostitution was the earliest focus of literotica. The term “pornography” which is derived from the Greek word pornographos meaning “the writing of prostitution”. The original writings were denoting descriptions of the lives of prostitutes and their customers in Ancient Greece. But that’s enough of a history lesson. What exactly is literotica, what should I read it, how should I read it, and what are the benefits? Let me put it this way, literotica is the ultimate build up and anticipation for pleasure. Read further as I explain how reading a book translates to the most pleasurable experiences you will ever have! How To Enjoy Literotica: Literotica can be enjoyed many ways, however we will go into detail on what we think is the best way. The most important thing to remember is you need to focus on the adult story and forget everything else. Similar to masturbation, the state of mind going into it is everything. Literotica is an escape from reality, an escape from your daily lives. So just as you would prepare for a solo masturbation session or sex with a lover, make sure you have these covered: Time to give undivided attention. Relaxed state of mind. If your masturbating during or after, your favorite sex toy readily available. If your listening with a partner, and you plan to have sex during or right after, be in a private place. You don’t want to have to worry about others intruding! If your listening to an audio version, make sure your background noise is minimal, and you have plenty of battery power to make it through the adult story. It is not uncommon for women to have a sex toy at their side while reading literotica. You will get quite worked up, believe me! This is the perfect segue into masturbating. If you plan on masturbating during the literotica story, we suggest using the audio version of the story. It’s more difficult to  read while focusing on touching yourself, than it is to lay back and listen while using your sex toy. So what type of adult product should I use while listening to the story? Your imagination is the limit! Use a vibrator or dildo to start but mix it up with anal beads or butt plugs at your leisure. Remember if the story goes into anal play, you may want an anal toy next to you, this way you can role play and follow along. Its not uncommon for couples to listen to the literotica together! I know we have preached about women enjoying literotica, but men enjoy it too! Try getting your significant other to listen to a story you really enjoy, it may lead into the role playing of a lifetime! This is a perfect way to reignite any relationship. Even if you just send them the file and have them listen to it on their own; if they are not comfortable doing it with you to start. This will spark their imagination and they can envision performing the acts from the literotica with you! The key is to get a release and break from the “real world”. Even if its only for 5-10mins it is healthy to step back and enjoy some mental relaxation from time to time. By reading a few pages you can forget about daily tasks, work problems, family responsibilities, and leave for a small moment of pleasure. Women’s favorite genre is romantic tales, a longer literotica story, sometimes even a few hundred pages, where the thrilling scenes are spread throughout. But you really need to read a few stories in each genre to get a taste of what turns you on the most. Just by the category names you should have an idea if you want to start there or maybe work your way into it. Benefits Of Literotica Reading literotica fantasies causes the mind to run wild, causes chills up your spine, and triggers unimaginable pleasurable feelings. Although not all adult stories are pleasure driven, some adult stories have twists of humor, sadness, and action throughout. These adult stories give a full mix of all emotions while reading. A lot of women for fear of being considered scandalous and perverse, prefer to get lost in the pages of a hidden desire, rather than actually transform their desires into reality. Some of you may find this to be silly, but it’s a benefit to read literotica if you’re not as outgoing, it may help you begin to openly express yourself more sexually. Here at Diskret we believe you should always openly express your sexual desires with your significant other. Especially explore your desires amongst your own body, with masturbation, lietrotica, and porn if you so choose. Remember using a sex toy to masturbate is not a scandalous taboo act. Actually, it’s quite the opposite! It is rare nowadays to find a woman who doesn’t enjoy a good literotica story while using a vibrator. However, if you’re not on this level yet, literotica can help open your mind to exploring these fantasies. Types Of Literotica The rule here is; if you have imagined it, chances are someone has written on it. The list of genres for literotica is extensive. Everything from anal play, BDSM, erotic couples, fetish, first time, gay male, and humor. The list is a mile long and each genre has thousands of adult stories in them. Below is a basic description for some of the more popular literotica genres: Illustrated - Erotica with accompanying original visual artwork. Celebrities and Fan Fiction – Adult stories and erotic fan fiction about famous people. Mature - Lust and love affairs. Chain Stories - Collaborations between literotica authors. Erotic Horror - Bizarre, shocking, scary, these can also be sexy. Letters and Transcripts - Fictional literotica correspondence. First Time – These are usually less fictional and are of memories & stories of people's first times. How To - Advice and suggestions from our readers and literotica authors. Humor and Satire – Literotica stories with a little sense of humor. Non-English - Erotic stories in all languages. Non-Human - Aliens, ghosts, androids, and more. Novels and Novellas - Erotic fiction with a broader scope. Usually longer literotica stories. Mind Control - Erotic-hypnosis and mind control. Reviews and Essays - Your take on art, films, and all things sexual. Romance - Drama, love, risk, and happily-ever-after. Sci-Fi and Fantasy - Literotica tales set in futuristic or fantastic worlds. Text with Audio - Literotica with oral accompaniment. Is There Risk in Reading Literotica Reading literotica and adult stories is not harmful to you. Keep in mind like anything sexual related, it needs to be done in a mature demeanor. Once you finish an adult story and have your dose away from reality, the story is exactly that… an escape from reality. These adult stories are fiction. Actually, most of the stories are ten-twenty times more unrealistic than what happens in real life. So, don’t read literotica and think your sex life is “boring” because you don’t have experiences like the story. As long as you are not comparing yourself to the literotica, reading it is not harmful by any means. The Best Literotica I know what you’re thinking, so what is the best literotica on the market? It really does depend on what you’re interested in. I would suggest a popular novel from New York Times bestselling author Sylvia Day. She has written a five-book series that puts the “50 shades” series to shame in my opinion. You can find these books for less at Diskret. Diskret also offers a lot of “how-to” books, and sexual informational guide books. If you are looking for a massive library of online stories, a no brainer would be to check out literotica.com. If you are looking for something more specific, and you like your fantasies rough, check out BDSM Café. This site has an extensive archive of erotic stories, novels, and pomes all focused on the bondage, discipline, and masochism lifestyle. It’s a one-stop shop for anyone looking to add some kink into their lifestyle. Polyamory is treading everywhere nowadays and Sex, Love, and Everything will help you understand why. This is a married couple blog about their unique experiences after willingly opening their marriage to others. It’s a great place to live vicariously through a sexually adventurous couple, while also very informal about kinky related topics. At last, if you are looking for 40,000+ stories on masturbation theme, check out Solo Touch. This site is dedicated specifically to masturbation. Members have access to live chat rooms, forums, and web cams. But the reading is exquisite, exciting, and tantalizing. Remember to have that sex toy in hand when reading these! Literotica Conclusion          In conclusion, literotica is a website based on erotica novels, short stories, and poems. The websites name has grown to become synonymous for modern erotica novels and adult stories. These stories have helped many women step outside their daily lives into the amazing world of fulfilling their deepest sensual desires. Try listening to some audio versions while masturbating for a unique solo experience. Or share the experience with your partner, for a new twist on sex. These stories will have both of your minds running wild! Hand that sex toy over to your partner while enjoying a good erotic novel for the ultimate experience in pleasure. However, you enjoy literotica is up to you, but just remember its there for your imagination. Let lose, open your mind for some new experiences, and enjoy reading something that isn’t work or school related for once. Remember to take your pleasure seriously, and if you have any other questions about literotica please ask us at Diskret. We are always here to help, if you want our personal recommendations, check them out here.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Open Relationship

Monogamy is not for everyone. The hardest thing for some people is settling down with one person. Alt hough most of us were brought up being taught that you should be monogamous, this can be difficult for some people, who just aren't hard wired that way. For this and many other reasons, an open relationship has become the new trend in town. Before getting into an open relationship, there are a few conversations you should be sure to have with your partner. Taking these things into consideration can ensure that nobody gets hurt, and that the open relationship can fit both of your needs the way it should. Set Rules with Your Partner In modern times, finding partners can be fairly easy. However, having sex with multiple partners can bring about a lot of issues. If you are a couple trying to venture into an open relationship, you should first consider alternatives to spark up your own relationship. If either of you isn't actually ready for an open relationship, it can lead to a lot of pain and ultimately a breakup. If the issue is simply the amount or quality of sex you are having, try finding some ways to bring the passion back into your relationship. If you do decide to have an open relationship, make a set of rules with your partner. These boundaries are important, and can prevent anyone feeling betrayed by something that wasn't identified as concretely "wrong" before it happened. Recommended rules range from simple generalities to specifics involving people and places that cannot be touched as part of the open relationship: Honesty Safety first if you choose to have multiples partners No having sex with any of your mutual friends Respect each other Don't introduce any of your lovers to your partner You can set up a time limit if you are just trying the concept out No sex in the bed you share Setting rules and playing by these rules will ensure that, even though you guys are seeing other people, your relationship is still strong. The above rules are just a sample of practices used by many couples. You and your partner can create your own custom tailored set of rules to ensure that your relationship can grow. Can Your Relationship Withstand an Open Relationship? Having an open relationship can lead to more problems and even to the final breakup of your relationship if you haven't laid the proper foundation. So before jumping into an open relationship, ask yourself if your relationship is strong enough to withstand an open relationship. Although people may say that sex is just physical, it can increase your emotional bond with a partner, and an open relationship can therefore leave one or both of you less connected emotionally to the relationship. So before deciding to be in an open relationship, ensure that your relationship has a solid foundation. Ensuring that you guys have a good rapport and an open line of communication will make sure that your relationship survives and is even strengthened by this decision. However, if guys are having troubles in your relationship beyond the dissatisfaction with monogamy, having an open relationship could lead to the end of your relationship. You should first ensure that you work out your other issues before deciding on an open relationship. Communication and Honesty For any relationship to last, communication and honesty are essential. Honesty here starts with you. Be honest with yourself; can you handle sharing your partner? You should be honest with yourself and understand that someone else will be touching your partner and may be having better sex with them than you do. As a couple, you should maintain healthy communication with each other. Maintaining healthy communication will ensure that, even though you are sleeping with other people, your relationship is still a priority in your life. This means not lying about where you are on a Friday night. If the open relationship is a mutual agreement, it's important that you tell your partner where you are and who you're with, so that they don't worry you're breaking the rules you laid out together. Conclusion Everyone has a different view of an open relationship. Some see it as an essential while some think of it as a virus that needs to be eradicated from the society. However, for those who are having problems being in a monogamous relationship but truly love one another, an open relationship can be extremely beneficial. The important thing is to know what you're getting into.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Your Ultimate Guide to Ben Wa Balls!

The History of Ben Wa Balls America became familiar with Ben Wa balls after the famous “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie when Christian shows Anastasia a set of Ben Wa balls and proceeds to insert them into her vagina. Anastasia then wears them all night long to an upscale party as a secret sex toy accessory. After the party, Christain removes the Ben Wa balls and they proceed to have their infamously hot sex scene. But what the heck are they, how does one use them, and where did they originate? The true origin of Ben Wa balls gets slightly blurred but they were first noted in Japan in 500A.D. No, that is not a “typo” 500 A.D.! These are not something a Hollywood director decided to throw in his sex related movie to spice it up. These have been around forever! A Japanese man created tiny, weighted balls that were inserted into the female vagina for extra male pleasure during intercourse. These original Japanese balls were metal and had mercury inside them. The movement of the dense mercury caused tiny sensations which led to orgasms for the females as well. So they started wearing them; free floating inside the vagina and as the slight movements massaged the vaginal wall, they became sexually aroused. After originating in Japan, they spread to China, India, Vietnam, and then into Europe before becoming known worldwide. They are also called by a variety of names such as benoit balls, dutone, love balls, pleasure balls, kegel balls, and jingle balls. How To Use Ben Wa balls So now that you know the history of the Ben Wa balls, how the heck do we use them? Traditionally, they were made of two hollow brass balls, which one was empty and the other contained a heavy metal ball inside or mercury. However, since then, technology has kicked in and you can now find a wide verity of Ben Wa balls. Once inserted a common action would be gently rocking in a rocking chair or swing to produce a constant rhythmic vibration that can bring some experienced women to orgasm. You can also perform a muscle building action called kegels to help hold them in and to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. These will help keep your vaginal area “tight” and create better sensation for a male partner along with yourself during intercourse! Some Ben Wa balls are even weighted to require the user to squeeze harder to hold them in, creating a more difficult workout, for more advanced Ben Wa users. How to Insert Ben Wa Balls The first thing you should do is turn yourself on or lube the vaginal area and Ben Wa balls. Then slowly glide the hollow ball in first, followed by the “loaded ball”. When placed in the correct location, slight movements of the hips and thighs will cause the loaded ball to float around thus causing small pleasant vibrations. Keep in mind the easier you can slide them in, the easier they will slide out, so a balance with practice and movements will be required to fully understand the size and lubrication you should stick to. We suggest laying down especially if you haven’t done this before. Don’t forget to relax, then insert the balls into the vagina when your mind is calm. Make sure you feel there is enough lubrication. You can always start with one ball if you are nervous to try both the first time. Once the Ben Wa balls are fully inserted, hold them inside the vagina by tensing your leg muscles together and doing kegel exercises. Try getting up and moving around, if it falls out, don’t worry! Make sure it is clean and give it another try. Remember the smaller and heavier they are, the more difficult it will be to hold them in. But advanced women can put them in and go about daily tasks around the house without them falling. Make sure you feel comfortable wearing the Ben Wa balls around the house before going in public with them, or you might be making an emergency pit stop to drop them! Keep in mind that glass and metal Ben Wa’s are on the more advanced side. These require more squeeze from the users to hold them in. If you are a beginner, you may want to start out with a silicone Ben Wa ball(s). Safety is very important. Make sure you wash the Ben Wa balls fully after every single use. They make sprays to clean adult products or warm water and antibacterial soap will do the trick. If they disassemble in anyway, such as a string or screw apart, make sure to take it apart and clean all the small crease as these can hold bacteria. If you do not clean them, you will be more susceptible to yeast infection. Is There A Medical Need To Use Ben Wa Balls? Ben Wa Balls are by no mean a requirement for women. They are made to be pleasurable, fun, and healthy! These are not required to make a male partner happy and satisfied in bed. Some women may like the fullness that the Ben Wa balls provide or if they have recently given birth it can help them get back to the natural tightness that they were at before. Like any adult product or sexual activity they can also help reduce stress in your life which has a world of health benefits as well. How To Use Ben Wa Balls Once you have inserted the Ben Wa balls you should put them in so the lower end of the ball is just inside you. Remember, if you have sex with them in, they will work their way all the way back. Yes, you can have sex with them in, that is how they were first designed to use in ancient Japan remember? Just don’t try this until you are fully comfortable with them during solo play . Remember like anything else with adult products, if they ever start to feel uncomfortable just take them out. They are meant to bring pleasure so if something doesn’t fell good why even use them? If you are looking to strengthen your PC muscles by doing kegel exercises here are a few simple steps to start with: Apply a water-based lube to the Ben Wa balls. Slide the Ben Wa balls in until they are just inserted and covered. You should be able to feel the end of them with your finger tips. When you contract while feeling the end of the Ben Wa ball (think of trying to gently cut off a pee mid-stream) if the ball goes further inside you, you’re using the correct technique! If the Ben Wa starts to move back towards your fingers (out of your vagina) you are using the wrong muscles. You should feel as though you are holding them up not pushing them out. Do not squeeze your abs or butt during the process. Now squeeze and hold then relax for 10 seconds. Repeat this and remember if your sore the next day, like working out or exercising your muscles are getting stronger and this is all part of the process. Remember It can take 2-3 weeks before you start to feel results of strengthened PC muscles. So don’t get discouraged after a few tries. Keep at it to feel the best results! How long should you keep Ben Wa balls in for? This really depends on the person, but beginners should keep it between 5-10 mins to start. If you are more experienced, you can keep them in for hours. Why am I not having an orgasm with the Ben Wa balls?! Remember these are thought more of a product to tease and “warm you up” than to have an orgasm. Most women do not orgasm from them unless they are more experienced and use techniques like the rocking chair motions. A lot of retailers and manufactures of Ben Wa balls do not want you to know this! We at Diskret believe in being upfront and telling the users exactly what to expect and how to use the products to bring the safest and most pleasurable experience. Remember if you make your PC muscles stronger using the kegel exercises above you will have more frequent orgasms and more powerful orgasms during sex and masturbation. Ben Wa balls can give a long constant slow pleasure to your daily activities, but you will most likely not be experiencing a full body, mind blowing orgasm. If you know this going in, they do not disappoint! What happens if Ben Wa balls get lost up there?! Don’t worry, they will not get lost in your vagina. The Ben Wa balls can not make it past your cervix, it is a barrier inside you. The phrase came about from anal sex toy play (Ben Wa balls are not for anal play). The anus does not have a barrier like the cervix and if the sex toy handle is smaller or same size  as the end used for pleasure it can “get lost” inside or require effort to get it out. Trusted sex toy manufacturing companies all know this, and you should not come across this from high quality brands and products. What if the Ben Wa balls don’t come out?! DO NOT FREAK OUT. I know this is your initial reaction, but it will only make it more difficult to get the Ben Wa balls out. This happens sometimes, even to experienced users. There is no need to run to the doctor. First you should try standing up and walk around, reapply lube to the base of the vagina if it is required. Jump up and down while trying to relax your bowels and abdomens. You can also try squatting, if still does not come out, cough and push while squatting. Remember to stay relaxed… coax them down with your fingers if required. If you have had them in over a day and still not coming out, then I would recommend seeing your OBGYN but understand your still not in any danger. This is an extremely rare case keep in mind. Ben Wa Ball Conclusion It really comes down to one simple thing. Set your expectations right. If you want a pleasurable experience with Ben Wa balls, and you are expecting it to be just like “50 Shades of Gray” you will be the individual leaving the poor review on Diskret saying: “these things don’t work!” or “I couldn’t even orgasm from it!” The movie got people interested in using them, but also set women up for failure. Understand from the beginning that Ben Wa balls are meant for 3 purposes: Slight arousal while doing activities around the house, or in public if you are bold. It will be a great tease for you to unleash on your partner later or build up for an explosive solo masturbation session later. To be worn during sex, to bring both you and your partner more pleasure during intercourse. To strengthen your PC muscles bringing you longer, more intense, and more frequent orgasms. To achieve this, do the kegel exercises. Remember these are a low risk and low danger adult product, so relax, and have fun with it! Make sure to contact Diskret Adult Life if you have any further questions, at info@diskretadultlife.com

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to Thrust like a Man

Men what if I was to tell you… you have so much sensuality and unexplored orgasmic sexual potential via your hips?  Most men approach sex in a very mechanical way why? Well there is no variation in speed, positions or thrusting techniques with the end result ends up being a robotic sex devoid of any  emotion (and it also shortens your lasting time dramatically). There is a serious lack of creativity among men when it comes to variety in their sex life which is a real shame. Growing up, men watch a lot of porn, and end up trying to emulate what the actors do. The problem is just that, these men are actors, and only do what looks good on camera, not what actually feels good. The other problem is that men are scared to try something new. Men get in the habit of doing the same thing every time, and that’s what men do in bed. Women go absolutely wild for men that surprise them and always keep them guessing in the bedroom. Keep her on her toes and spice up your sex life by constantly introducing new things in the bedroom that is the key to a happy and fulfilled sex life. One of the best ways you can accomplish this is with different thrusting techniques. The key here is to mix and match if you keep doing just one thing, no matter how good she feels in the moment, you will become predictable and she will get bored, which is a death sentence to your sex life. You can have the best technique in the world, but if you do the same “trick” for hours, the novelty will wear off. Avoid this by introducing new methods every few minutes. This’ll keep her coming back for more that night, the next day, and beyond. Here are a few tips to get you started: One of the easiest ways to introduce variety into your thrusting techniques is by changing the speed and tempo of your thrusting.  Go fast for 10-20 seconds, then pause and go really slow for the next minute. Have a dozen shallow thrusts before going all in with the deep ones. Vary the speed and depth that way she can’t predict what you will do next. Of course, common sense applies here. If she is grabbing you and telling you to go faster or deeper, don’t suddenly slow down that will just piss her off. Watch her reactions and modify to that. On the other hand, if you feel you are near an ejaculation, it would be best if you slow down. It’s usually best to start slowly and then escalate. If you’re just starting with sex, don’t start jackhammering right away. She might not be that wet yet and it will be unpleasant for her. Next, start off with slow thrusts for a few minutes and then introduce more speed and variety. Slow thrusts should be the opposite of wild jackhammering. Take your time and make sure your strokes are long, hard, and deep. To do this, you can use positions that don’t facilitate thrusting, but are great for deep penetration. This includes spoons position, or if you’re looking for a challenge, seated position. Sit upright in a chair or on the edge of the bed and have her straddle you, for deep penetration. Thrusting techniques are what it takes to deliver electrifying orgasms up and down your woman’s spine, but they’re only useful if you’ve got the stamina to take her down the path to pleasure. Studies have shown that the average duration of sex is a measly 6 minutes, but also, that most women require at least 15 minutes of penetration to orgasm. The best way, hands down, to rock her world is to last longer in bed. No matter what techniques you use, if you can’t control your orgasm, you’re facing an uphill battle to keep your woman satisfied in bed.

Blog – by Diskret Life

Sex Positions 101

Sex Positions 101 This will become your ultimate guide to sex positions. It is not your typical 1000 different images of twisted figurines with wild names like “X marks the spot” or “The Mixed Lotus”. Majority of these animations are not even humanly possible unless your quadruple jointed in the knees; much less comfortable enough to enjoy the sex while partaking in the act. This sex position guide will be for beginners to advanced users, but be realistic in what positions work, provide pleasure, and are a great way to mix things up. The sex positions we will describe in detail are all “natural” movements for the body. The positions will be easy to transition into and provide the ultimate pleasure for both individuals. Nobody likes stopping the current sex position, then spending 5 minutes trying to get comfortable in a new crazy and exotic way. “Keep things simple and keep things pleasurable” is our motto at Diskret. So, lets start with some history on how these sex positions all came about! History of Sex Positions: The history of sex positions is a long one. Nobody is exactly sure of the origin of when people started using a large variety of positions during intercourse. But we know it was not anytime recent. A lot of pottery and books dating hundreds of years BC depicted images of individuals partaking in various sex positions. Perhaps the most famous book being the “Karmasutra” which was an ancient Indian Hindu text. Contrary to western popular perception the Karma Sutra in not an exclusive sex manual; but describes much more. It discusses the nature of love, family life, and other pleasure-oriented aspects of life. Less than a quarter of the book is actually dedicated to sex positions. The oldest exclusive sex position book was found more recently, in 1970’s a text was discovered from a 15-century book called “Speculum al Foderi” written in the Catalan language. This was the first known book describing only sex positions. It was written in Europe around the Medieval era.   Beginner Sex Positions: The term “beginner” is thrown around a lot for sex positions and I want to be clear on what this exactly means to Diskret. If it’s extremely pleasurable for you and your partner, what does it matter if it is labeled a beginner sex position or not? Let me answer that for you, it doesn’t! Labels can be very misleading in the world of sex positions, so listen closely. What I label as a “beginner” sex position hits the following list: Easy to transition into from missionary position. Does not require extreme flexibility. Does not require you to be superior in physical fitness. Easy to describe to your partner. Easy to show and guide your partner. I get that everyone wants to try the best sex position. Which I take as, the sex position that brings the most pleasure. However, there is a huge misconception that the more complex the sex position is, the more pleasure it will bring! This is not true, actually I’ve found it to be quite reverse of this conception. When it comes to sex positions, keeping things simple are usually the positions that bring the most pleasure. So, stop trying to learn a “Double Twisted Pretzel” and worry about understanding what sex positions actually bring you both pleasure, and are easy to manage. The below positions are for male and female vaginal penetration. I will touch on gay and lesbian versions later. However, never discount them for you and your partner no matter what your gender is. Females can always use a strap-on, and gay males can use most of the sex positions described for straight couples anyway. So please don’t get hung up on the images being a male and female. The first beginner sex position is a twist on your standard missionary. It is an easy transition from your basic sex positions, all you need is a pillow! All you need to do for this sex position is keep a pillow within arms reach when you start having sex, same as you would do with a sex toy! Then after you get a little tired of missionary, grab the pillow and have her lift her butt in the air by pushing off on her feet, and putting pressure on her upper back. Then slide the pillow under her hips. This sex position can create some mind-blowing results for women, it will help him pushed against her clitoris, but also penetrate deeper. If you try this sex position, and you both agree it works well, you could always invest in a Liberator. The Liberator gives support at the perfect angle, while offering endless possibilities when it comes to different sex positions. Its also the perfect gateway into more advanced sex toys! The second beginner sex position is not quite as easy to transition into as the first. It requires the  man to stand at the edge of the bed and the female to slide to the edge of the bed. The male can lean in off the front of his feet and get a ton of pressure and deep thrusts. He can also lean his arms on the bed to the side of the females shoulders for extra weight and pressure in the thrusting motion. Remember if leaning becomes tough on your arms or shoulders, simply stand upright like pictured. The standing individual is in complete control with this sex position. He can thrust as fast or slow as his heart desires! The third and final beginner sex position is changing it up with the female on top. This might  seem basic, but if you have not tried this yet, it can be a real eye opener. This beginner sex position puts the girl in complete control. The on one bottom can lay helpless or slight hip thrust to support her. Have him lie on his back while you slowly mount him with one leg on either side of his body. Take his shaft and slowly lower yourself down onto it. Remember lube is your friend with any beginner sex position but especially this one. She can then use a “bounce” effect using pressure on the knees, or a grinding effect by sliding back and forth on him vs up and down. Oral Sex Positions:          Got the beginner sex positions down and want to mix it up further? Not all sex positions have to be vaginal penetration by the male. A great way to enhance your sex life is with different oral sex positions. Of course, everyone knows the blowjob or 69 sex positions. But what else is there? What other oral sex positions can give pleasure to straight, gay, and lesbian couples? As stated before the pictures will be of male and female but can apply to all gender relationships, so please don’t get hung up on the image being a male & female it is only for demonstration purposes. The first oral sex position is slightly different than most think, it is  called North Face and it is with one individual sitting above the other’s face. The individual on top is facing away from the lower half of the other individual in this case the male on bottom, and female is pictured on top. So, what is so special about this oral sex position? In this case it allows the male to solely focus on the female. He is giving her his undivided attention and she does not have to worry about pleasing him, only enjoying the ride! She can move up down and around to help direct him to the “sweet spot” and put her hands against the wall or on the headboard for extra added support. The second oral sex position is a twist off of the 69 sex position. It is called “sideways 69” and in  this one the male and female are both on their sides facing opposite directions like you would in the original oral sex position. It allows a built-in headrest for both individuals and the motion of oral sex coming from a very different angle gives a totally unique feeling. No longer is the mouth on genitals from a straight on oral sex position but tilted to the side. This alone will give you a serious boost of pleasure. The angle will give you access to his and her whole crotch, allowing for either to get deeper on the shaft or deeper into the vagina. The third oral sex position is called “laying butler”.  This oral sex position is great for any gender mix and allows easy access to the anus, penis, or vaginal region with a great angle for the giver. The receiver simply enjoys and guides their partner with slight hip movements to the best spots. It is easy to transition into this oral sex position as well because the receiver normally being on their back just simply roles over. Just make sure the communication is their ahead of time, so your partner knows what’s going on, and what your looking to have done! Gay Sex Positions:        So guys, what are the best gay sex positions out there? When it comes to gay positions, it really is not narrowing down most sex positions beyond the obvious. Most male / female sex positions could work for male / male as well. But there are a few in particular that just give a better angle for men entering other men. The first gay sex position is called “Knee Up”. This one is for gay men who want to get real deep penetration. The receiver lays on his back and brings his knees towards his chest. The giver then enters him face to face like missionary style. This gay sex position is great for men who are flexible but want something slightly rougher. For a different angle on this one try tucking a pillow under his butt.   The second gay sex position is called “Cowboy” (I know the names are not very original, but I didn’t come up with them). Well you know how a girl can go on top, shown in the diagram above. Guys can actually do the same thing. Straddle the guy and ride him by “bouncing” up and down or grinding back and forth. This is one of the best gay sex positions for guys who are new to gay sex. The reason for this is the receiver has a lot of control and can adjust if starting to feel uncomfortable.   The third gay sex position is called “Doggy Style.” Most everyone knows what this is when it comes to male / female, but its actually the best gay sex position for deep anal penetration. The receiver lays on the bed leaning on hand and knees while the giver penetrates from behind. This is a good gay sex position for LGBTQ couples as well, that enjoy dominance and rougher sex in particular.   Lesbian Sex Positions:                    Don’t worry ladies, we didn’t forget about you! As stated in most cases here, lesbian sex positions could be used by all gender relationships. The lesbian sex positions here are strictly more favorable for females due to slight differences but that is all. So ladies, the first lesbian sex position is called “The Lap Dance”. A female will sit on a slightly reclined chair with one knee bent out. You can rest your foot on a chair or edge as well. Then have your partner straddle that raised leg and grind her clitoris against your thigh. This lesbian sex position can change if you own a strap on and have her slide down on top of that to put an aggressive twist on this!    The second lesbian sex position is called “Back it up”. It can work in one of two ways through manual stimulation or with a strap on. One female will get on all fours and throw her hands back, while her partner gets behind her doggy style. Remember you can grab hands for a more kinky sex position.   The last lesbian sex position is a bit wild so get ready for the ride of your life.  This sex position is called “Gravity”. Have your partner sit in a chair leaning forward. Then you need to put your feet up on the chair straddling her body and your hands on the floor. She now has all-access for an oral sex position as well! The Best Sex Position: So now the question becomes what is the best sex position of all? You are going to hate my answer… I know everyone is looking for the best sex position is “X” which I have named some great ones above, but no single sex position is the absolute best sex position. It completely depends on the couple, everyone is a different size, shape, and like different styles of oral and penetration. The best sex position is the one that feels the best for both of you! I know this doesn’t sound like rocket science, but you need to experiment with your partner, and experiment frequently! You won’t find your best sex position until you try a lot of them. Once you try a handful of different sex positions you will know just by looking at the pictures and descriptions if its something up your ally or not. If it seems interesting and you enjoy a similar sex position, then go for it! The worst that can happen is one of you say its uncomfortable and switch to something else. You never know until you try, and you will narrow them down until you find your best sex position possible! Don’t forget to mix sex toys into different sex positions! Some of the best sex positions to start are by you or your partner using a sex toy on each other. Not all sex positions consist of just body to body contact, throw some objects in to spice it up, this makes the number of sex positions out there endless! A single different sex position can change your entire sex life, so never stop searching for the best! Sex Positions Conclusion: So in conclusion, changing up your standard sex positions can be life altering to a relationship. Sex is important to any relationship and if it begins to fizzle out, its important to try new things. Search for your best sex position and when you think you found it, keep looking for something better. Unless both of you are completely satisfied, stick with it for awhile but then try a different sex position, you will develop your “go-to” positions over time. Above are some amazing sex positions for all couples. Remember to throw in other objects like a chair, couch, sex toy, or wedge to really put a twist on your sex positions. Who knows, you may end up inventing your own sex position! No matter what you are looking for, anal, oral, deep penetration…. The list goes on. There is a sex position out there for you. So start exploring and having fun with it. The sex positions are endless and so is the pleasure!

Blog – by Diskret Life

Are Anal Orgasms Real?

Hell yes anal orgasms are real! There are a lot more ways to reach this heavenly euphoric feeling than one. Whatever your gender, the anus and rectum are part of your central nervous system and are packed full of nerve endings. All just waiting to be stimulated until you reach an anal orgasm. Anal penetration stimulates the erectile tissue in the lower part of the vagina and the G-spot. In men, vigorous perineal stimulation and prostate stimulation can lead to massive anal orgasms. The best part of anal orgasms? Unlike a regular orgasm, you don’t have a recovery time. You can experience one anal orgasm after another until your heart desires! Train your PC muscles and get the best butt plugs to start your journey to 33% more intense orgasms! How To Increase Your Orgasms by 33%   It was reported through a large survey done on men, that their orgasms felt 33% more intense when using a butt plug. So, what are some ways of increasing the pleasure while preforming anal play? Once you have an anal plug in, its time to stimulate the prostate. Take the anal plug by the stem and angling it upwards, towards your stomach in a massaging circular motion. This can deliver an orgasm like never before! A must try for all men! How to Keep Butt Plugs Safe: Like any form of anal play, it's important to understand your body before trying these things. When you go to take the butt plug out, remember to push like you are having a bowel movement, while pulling on the plug at the same time. If it doesn’t come out on the first try, do not panic. It will, just relax and slowly apply pressure over and over slowly stretching the rectum until it releases it completely. Do not force it, but keep in mind how much pressure it took going in, it will take slightly more coming out since you are working against the back side of the tapered bulb. Now it is extremely important to clean the anal plug immediately. For obvious reasons, you have a lot of bacteria in the rectum that should be cleaned with a sex toy cleaner specifically or an anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Some are dishwasher safe too. Remember that butt plugs are great during couples play, your partner can use one on you. Or have sex while you have the anal plug in. But you must never share butt plugs with a partner. The bacteria in your body is specific to your body, sharing a butt plug with your partner can lead to infection and other complications. Having two, one for each person is the best route. What are the Benefits of Anal Plugs? First let’s be clear on the difference between an anal plug and butt plug. An anal plug is not for pleasure, they are used mostly for constipation. It also won’t give you any pleasure during sex or masturbation. Keep this in mind when going to purchase because they are not the same. The benefits to anal plugs and butt plugs are tremendous. First, they help stretch out the rectum which is great preparation for one who wants to engage in anal sex. The butt plug allows the anus to stretch out slowly and naturally. Getting accustom to the feeling and increasing width will lead great into anal sex. Butt plugs are also used for stimulation by keeping in during sex and masturbation or angling towards the stomach to apply pressure and massage the prostate. This can lead to extremely intense orgasms. Women can stimulate their G-spot through the wall that divides the vaginal and anal cavity, by angling the plug towards the stomach. Over time, advanced users look at butt plugs like jewelry. It is fun and kinky to wear them out in public or use luxurious ones during sex. Using a bedazzled stem will look like jewelry and may impress your partner. Anal sex can also lead to many benefits. It is extremely pleasurable for men and women who prepare and take the appropriate steps to learn their body and their partners body. It can improve bowel movements and even boost your immune system.   Anal Play Conclusion: If you are using a butt plug, anal plug, or just looking to improve your anal sex life, its an obvious choice this is a popular and pleasurable path. More people use sex toys than you think, and they are becoming increasingly popular… as is all sex talk. The most important thing when talking anal play and butt plugs is to take it slow, and never do anything that is not comfortable. It is a sex toy to bring pleasure so if it/s not doing that, you might have the wrong plug or using it improperly. Remember Diskret is here to help, if you have any further questions on butt plugs or anal play please don’t hesitate to contact us. We are not only here to provide you luxurious, quality sex toys at an affordable price. But we are here to provide you free information about whatever questions you may have regarding sex toys. In the end, remember this is all about having fun and bringing pleasure but it is a serious matter in keeping safe, and using quality products. So, take your pleasure seriously!

Blog – by Diskret Life

How to use the best butt plugs

All orgasms are equal right? Wrong! You can always intensify your orgasms by branching into new sexual experiences like using a butt plug. So, what’s the big deal about anal play, its becoming more and more popular among women and men. Yes, straight men too are enjoying anal play and butt plugs. This guide is going to walk you through everything you need to know about butt plugs. It will explain what butt plugs are. Who uses butt plugs and why. How to use butt plugs for beginners and advanced individuals. It will also explain the benefits and risks that come with butt plug play. What is a Butt Plug? Let’s start with what butt plugs are. Butt plugs are sex toys used for stimulating the rectum. Men and women use them to stretch their sphincter to ease their way into anal sex, while others use them strictly during sex and masturbation to increase the sexual stimulation and intensity of their orgasm. A butt plug is much shorter than your typical dildo and it has a large base on it. This base needs to be larger than the widest part of the butt plug bulb for safety reasons. The anus does not have a natural “stopper” like the vagina and needs to have a backstop to prevent the butt plug from going into the anus too far. Make sure to check this as many manufactures don’t always adhere to this rule! Butt plugs come in a large variety of shapes, colors, materials, sizes, and designs. They are designed to stay in the anus for prolonged periods of time. Some people even wear them into public for the kink aspect of it. The most common butt plug models are shaped like a cone or bulb with a stopper. Remember that unlike anal beads which progressively get larger and are designed to be inserted and removed throughout the sexual experience. The butt plug is typically designed to stay in during sex and removed after. Some butt plugs have a fox tail attached. These are for role playing fantasies and are quite popular. In the U.S. alone people search for butt plugs almost 20 thousand times a month! These tail plugs are not designed to stretch the anus but more so a mechanism to attach the tail. Butt plugs are a great way to ease into anal sex. You can start small and slowly work your way into larger plugs at a comfortable pace. Then when you are ready, you can take on your partners penis or strap-on. A lot of butt plugs are sold in sets of small, medium, and large. These are made for those looking to progressively dilate their rectum. If you have never tried a butt plug, make sure to read the “how to use a butt plug” section of this article before giving it a go. It may sound simple, but a few basic tips can make your experience so much more pleasurable. A Blast Through the Butt Plug Past: Although most are not aware of it, butt plugs and anal toys have been around for centuries, even millennia at this point. Butt plugs dating back to 200 B.C. have been dug up! The first U.S. sold modern day butt plugs were sold as “Dr. Young’s ideal rectal dilators kits”. They were advertised as curing all sorts of many common illness. Which of course many were proven scientifically false. However, the orgasms that came from them may have helped with many things like headaches, stress, unbalanced hormones, and pain relief. Since that is proven to hold true today. But the claims that Dr Young’s kit cured insanity, insomnia, constipation, and so on… were obviously proven false back then and the common butt plug were banned for sale as medical device. It really wasn’t until the late 1990’s that the advent of soft silicone came into the sex toy world. This suited the butt plugs well and your modern-day butt plug came booming into the market stream. How to Use A Butt Plug: Preparation before using a butt plug is important. I do not suggest a beginner trying a butt plug without understanding the basics around anal play first. We will help guide you through the basics here. Do not try to shove an anal plug in without taking the necessary steps to prepare, this could lead to injury and serious discomfort. The complete opposite of how your anal plug experiences should be. The first step is ensuring your rectum is clean, a bowel movement and good scrub in the shower will suffice. You can use a douche with tepid water if that’s more your style. The next step is stretching. Just like in athletes, it’s important to stretch the muscles before going for a home run. Start with plenty of lube on your finger and rectum area. Completely relax your mind and body, while slowly inserting your finger. Get accustomed to the feeling and then insert another finger. Do this until you have 2-3 fingers in comfortably. Next, slowly insert the butt plug. Butt plugs are made of all different sizes and materials, if it is two big or sticking, do not force it! It is best to give it a shot, and if it doesn’t work out, purchase a smaller size. A butt plug training kit from small to medium might be best for beginners who are ambitious. Remember to use lots of lube. Apply the lube to the tip of the butt plug and outside of the rectum. This will keep any type of anal play more safe and pleasurable. Not all lubes are the same, here at Diskret we suggest the more natural lubes. Water-based and natural oils will keep the potential for silicone-based lubes and the silicone plug to react in a negative way. If you feel any sort of pain, do not keep going. Relieve the pressure of your hand on the butt plug and slowly pull it out. You can try again when the pain goes away. Once the plug is in, you can leave it there for up to an hour. Do not leave the plug in for more than 3-4 hours, depending on the material the plug is made from, it can start to break down in the body. This is why Diskret highly suggests high quality butt plugs. The low-quality plugs are littered throughout the industry. So, make sure you go with a trusted retailer or manufacturing company for your plugs. Do your homework and research or trust a company you know delivers quality sex toys. High Quality Butt Plugs For Men: Unfortunately, the marketplace is flooded with low grade butt plugs for men. Its always been that way and probably always will be that way! Lucky for you, I’ve tried hundreds of butt plugs for men and know a thing or two about which one’s work and which ones don’t. So, here are my top 3 butt plugs for men that will give you mind blowing anal orgasms: Duke by Fun Factory: Designed by men, for men! This butt plug for men is truly unique. It’s a powerful, flexible prostate & perineum massager. It might look a little crazy from a design standpoint, but each curve and swirl is designed to conform to the exact curve of your body. It is easily inserted and provides mind-blowing p-spot stimulation! Use it with the bullet vibrator for an even more intense butt plug orgasm. Once inserted it becomes a hands-free experience and allows you to move freely without having to adjust.       High Quality Butt Plugs For Women: Bootie 3 pc. Set   The Bootie 3 pc set by fun factory is 100% body-safe silicone. This butt plug for women has a very popular design that women rant and rave about. It slides in easily and allows for hands-free anal pleasure. It is also great for beginners as you get 3 different sizes. Like I talked about earlier you can work your way up through the sizes and help prepare for large butt plugs and anal sex.